Awesome Latest Sexy, adult, sex, naughty, dirty, non-veg sms messages

HONEYMOON
H-hawas mita do
O-or chuso
N-nanga karke
E-ek hi jhatke mein
Y-yeh gaya
M-mar dala
O-or dalo
O-or tez
N-ni..k..a.. l…g..a. y..a

AITBAAR
lund pe aitbaar kisko hai…
Mil jaaye chodney ko to inkar kis ko hai…
Kuch mushkilen hai chut paane me dost
Warna muth marne se pyaar kisko hai…


VO CHEEZ
PAPA : vo kon si cheez hai jis k charoo taraf baal hotay hain
SON : papa may bataoo
PAPA :nahi tum chup rahoo
SON : may batata hoo ….. AANKH
PAPA : ohh haan
SON : to kya aap lun samajh rahay thay


BEST QUOTE
Quote of the millenium:- “Prostitution is the only industry where fresh
employees are paid more than the experienced ones”.


FINGERS
Sometimes There Are No Words to Describe
How We Feel About some people in this Life.
BUT
Thank God We Have a Middle Finger.


3 AADMI
: kal raat 3 chor aaye aur mera rape karke chale
gaye.Sardar: tumne unhe roka nahi?Sardarni: bahot roka par bole
ab aur taakatnahi hai, kal aayenge
IK LADKI
Ik Larki thi dewaani si…
Ik Larkay pe wo mar…
Kuch lena tha usay…
Lakin pregnancy se wo darti thi..
Jab bi milti thi muijhey….
Ye hi pocha karti thi…..
Ye “CONDOM” kAHAN SE MILTA HAI
Ye “CONDOM” kAHAN SE MILTA HAI


SANTA ON HONEYMOON
Santa and Jeeto were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 10th wedding anniversary.
Jeeto said, “We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon.”
“As you wish,” said Santa.
“Will we do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon?” asked Jeeto.
“Ok,” said Santa.
“And will we make love like we did on our first honeymoon?” asked Jeeto.
“That’s right,” said Santa, “except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry, ‘It’s too big, it’s too big!’“


GHANTI
Sadhu fati dhoti pehan ker ghar se nikalta hai aur mandir mein
puja ke liye jhukta hai. Ek aurat sadhu ki gand ko gullak samajh kar
us mein ek sikka daal deti hai. Sadhu seedha ho ke bolta hai:
“Ab ghanti bhi bhaja do“


HAATH
Ladka ladki ke baap se : Main aapki ladki ka haath mangta hoon.
Ladki ka baap : Kuyn. Ladka : Kyon ki ab mera hath thak gaya hai.


Niple niple little star
can i suck you in my car
up above the breast so high
always milky never dry
let me touch it never shy
in the bra it will be dry


BUY A SCOOTY�..
PICK UP A BEAUTY�
DRINK A FROOTY�.
TAKE HER TO OOTY�
REMOVE HER NIGHTY�
DO UR DUTY�
AFTER 9 MONTHS �
* GET A CUTY *


HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN: caress excite cuddle fascinate spoil kiss rub
tease pamper console worship respect & love.
HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: blow job


A teacher asked “what part of the body goes to heaven first?”
A child replied “feet”
coz every night I see my mum with her feet in the air screaming
GOD I’M CUMIN!


Baccha (looking at breast): Maa ye kya hai?
Maa : Ballon baccha
Baccha : aapke itne chote aur kamwali k itne bade kyun?
Maa : Tune kab dekha?
Baccha : Jab papa hawa bhar rahe the.


Fiza remix song – Maha bub mere maha bub mere,teri bistar pe mujhe sone de,bahut dudh ( . )( . ) hai tere siney mein,mujhe daba daba k pine de.


A man busy having sex. Son – dad kya kaar rahe ho?
Dad – mummy k tank mein patrol bhar raha hoon
Son – Fuel meter check karke dalo,dopaher me hi uncle tank full kar k gaya.


Q – What is the difference between hook in cricket and of bra?
A – One sends ball out of the boundary and other keeps balls within the boundary.


Ek ladki ki T SHIRT pe B00B PE FACEBOOK likha ho to
Uski panty ME CHUUT pe kya likha hoga?
Think
Its simple yaar
LOG IN:-)


Maa-Ab tera kya hoga
Haramzado ne teri Izzat LOOTLI
Ladki:Maa tu pareshan na ho Wo sab pathan the
Izzat bhi bach gai or QABZ bhi hat gayi !
1 call girl ladke k uper baith kr sex kar rhi thi,


boy=tum 1din me kitne kma leti ho.
grl=5000,
boy=sach batao,
grl=roji pe baithi hu jhuth nai bolungi


Ek Bhains Gadhe k upar chhad gai..
Gadha-Kya kar rahi hai.?
Bhains-Mai to Mazak kar rahi thi..
Gadha-Mai Mazak karunga to bhosdiki panchayat karti firegi..


Agar aap apni ungliyon ka upyog apni hi galtiyon ko ginne k liye kroge,
to dusro ki gaand me ungli krne ka waqt hi nhi milega.


Wife-Zara Dhire Karo Express Kyu Chala Rahe Ho Maal Gaadi Chalao
Itne Mai Beta Bed Se Gira Aur Bola-Jo Marji Wo Chalao Par Passenger Mat Girao.


Santa ka beta 4th me fail hoke 3rd me aya,
3rd me fail hoke 2nd me, 2 se 1me.
Santa daar kr apni biwi se bola Soniyo! Salwar Tight Kr Le Munda Wapas Aa Raha H.


Santa ne condom pehn ke muth mari fir us me gathan mar k latka diya 1din 1admi ne pucha ye kya h
Santa-ye wo bache h jinhe maa ka pyar nhi mila.

Latest fresh new Sexy, adult, sex, naughty, dirty, non-veg sms messages

Ek kunwari ladki ki petme baccha aa gaya..
Uski baap : ye kiska hain?
Ladki : papa miss call to sab hi marta tha..
pata nahi kiska receive ho gaya..!


Sardar:Will U Marry me?
Girl:Sorry I’m a Lesbian.
Sardar:”Whats Lesbian?”
Girl:”I have Sex only with Girls”.
Sardar:”Maar Taali I’m also Lesbian”


Boy Ladki k Saamne Pant utarkar bola-
kya tumhare paas aisa hai?
Girl panti utarkar boli-
jinke paas aisi hoti hai unke paas inki koi kami nahi hoti.


Little Boy: Dad How Was I Born? Dad: Well, Son Ur Mom & I Got Together at “Yahoo”. We Set up A Date Via E-Mail & Met In Cyber Cafe Ur Mom Agreed To “Download….. Data” From My “Pen Drive”. Just When I Was About to “Transfer”, We Realised That Non Of Us Had “Installed” A “Firewall” It Was Too Late To hit “Delete….. Nine Months Later A “Pop-up Window” Appeared Saying”You Have Got A Male” ….


Bakri Ki Jan Talwar Ke Niche,
Ladki Ki Jan Salwar Ke Niche,
Jo Chali Jaye Mat Bhago Uske Piche,
Pyar Karo Usi Se Jo Salwar Khole Khusi Se!


Lady in bus: aapka kuchh touch ho raha hai.
Man: Oh, wo meri salary hai pocket mein.
Lady: OYE! TERI SALARY 5 MINUTES MEIN 3 GUNA BADH GAYEE?!?


Rajasthani lady and conductor
Conductor : baccha ko ticket?
Rajsthani lady :- iko bhi lagego ke ? yo tho abaar bobo chuse hai.
Conductor:- bobo tho iko baap bhi chuse hai.
To uke bhi free me bitha lu


Girls hostel me phone aaya- meena hai kya ?
Warden ne pucha-piche kya lagati hai ?
Jawab aaya-ab tho pata nahi pehle sarson ka tel lagati thi


Husband:- ne sasural me biwi se : chalo sex karte hain
Biwi : nahi ye mere baap ka ghar hai
Husband :- tho kya mere baap ka ghar red light area hai jo to roz
Taiyar ho jati hai.


Suhagrat ko pati ne patni se pucha “kya mehsus kar rahi ho ?”
Patni = aaj tak top_up me kam chalate the aaj se life time karwa liya.


Sex ke baad aurat aadmi se boli : “tumari bansuri bahut he choti hai”, Aadmi ne bola “mujhe thodi pata tha ke, town-hall mein bajani hai”


A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)of their son, but they dont know proper word to print, so they printed the wording :THE CUTTING CEREMONY OF FUCKING INSTRUMENTS


Most interesting line written
on the front of T-shirt of a girl,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Excuse me !
My face is above.;-)


What’s an average 6 inch long
What’s an average 6 inch long
Inside a guy�s pants and girls love to blow it up?
?
?
?
?
A:1000- rupee currency note.!
Always think positive


Girl:It�s 2 tight
Boy:Don�t worry,I�ll do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I can�t,
Gal:It�s painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We'll buy new WEDDING RING!


Fair & lovely ke ad me face dikhaya
Ponds ke ad me hath dikhaya
Pentene ke ad me baal dikhaye
Phir whisper ke ad mein cheating kyun?


2 men went 2 a callgirl. 1st went in and came out n said “Na my wife is better.” 2nd went in and came out n said “U R right ur wife is much better.”


Patni: “Aaaaaah Janu, Aaj Itni Der Kyu Laga Rahe Ho?”
Pati: “Kya Karu? Koi Khubsoorat Chehra Aankho Ke Saamne Hi Nahi Aa Raha"


Girl in cinema turns sideway n whisper 2 her boyfriend: The man next 2 me is masturbating!”. BF: ”Ignore him.” GF: ”I can’t. BF: ”Why not?” GF: ”He’s using my HAND!”


Teacher: John, why is your cat at school today? John : I heard the postman tell mum.
when the kid goes to school I’m gonna eat your pussy.


Man to wife: Business is bad, if u learn 2 cook we can remove servant.
Wife: If u learn how to fuck we can remove driver, gardener & watchman…


What is the difference between riding a bicycle & riding a woman? Riding a bicycle u fix ur ass & move ur legs. Riding a woman u fix ur legs & move ur ass!


Girl goes 2 repair umbrella. Umbrella man says:- Upper cloth has to be removed and rod has to b inserted. Girl says:- Do any thing but water shouldn’t go in !!!


What bitches say during Sex – English Bitch – Oh yes, Oh Yes!!!!!!!!!! American Bitch – Yeah Baby, Yeah Baby!!!!!!!!! Pakistani Bitch – Ahista Abboo……Ammi jaag jayegi !!!!!!!!!! 


What do Bungee Jumping & Prostitutes have in common? With both pleasure lasts for 35 seconds and if the rubber breaks, you are fucked. 


What is the sex organ of an elephant and why? His foot. Beacuse if he stamps on you, you are fucked. 


What do you call two homos having sex? DANDIA What do you call a group of homos having sex? DISCO DANDIA 


What do you call hundreds of homos having sex? LATHI CHARGE


Ek mandir ki deewar pay likha tha: Agar aap gunah kar ke thak chuke hain to ander aaiye. Neechy lipistick se likha hua tha : Agar nahi thake hain to samne wale ghar main aaiye.


Majnu ne khuda se poocha: “Aye khuda tune ladki ki kamar kaisi banai mitti kam pad gayi ya rishwat thi khayi” Khuda ne jawaab diya: “Na mitti kam pad gayi na rishwat khai kamar dabai tabhi to chuchiyan (.) (.) Bahar aayi“


Santa ek baar ek ladki ke saath sex karne laga to Ladki santa ka private saman dekh kar boli: “itna bada” Santa khushi se bola: “O ji hum punjabi hain hamara to sub kuch hi bada hota hai” Jab ladki ne apni salwaar utaari to santa uski choot dekh kar bola “Oye! Tusi vi punjabi ho“


Ek ladka apne baap ko viagra ki ek goli toffee mein daal ke deta hai Aur kehta hai: “daddy sone se pehle kha lena” Baap kehta hai: “beta isse kya hoga?” Ladka bolta hai: “daddy agar toffee achi lage to mere takiye ke neeche chup chap 100 rupye rakh dena” Agle din ladka apne takiye ke neeche dekhta hai to use 1100 rupye milte hai Aur daddy ke paas ja ke kehta hai: “daddy meine to sirf 100 rupye rakhne ko kaha tha” Baap kehta hai: “beta meine to 100 hi rakhe the 1000 teri maa ki taraf se hain“