Sexy, dirty, erotic, non-veg, adult short and long jokes, whatsapp messages



Ek bus me Ladko & Ladkiyo ki team
Antakshari
Khel rahi thi
Girls Hum Tumko Harakar Hi
Dikhayenge,
Pichhe betha PAPPU BOLA :- Hum
Haar Gye, Chalo Ab Dikhao


Ek Ladka bike se Aunty ko ghar
chhodne ja raha tha.Jab bhi aunty
ke boobs uski peeth se lagte, wo
kehta : "Na pintu na, ye aunty
he."Ghar pahooch ke Aunty boli :
"Tu kis pintu ke sath baat kar raha
tha?"Ladka sharma ke bola :"aapke
nipples bar bar takra rhe the,, Mera
penis bar bar khada ho raha tha, to
me use samajha raha tha ke pintu
khada na ho, yeh to Aunty
hai."Aunti boli : "Dhutt pagle,Aunty
to mai teri hu,Pintu ki nahi…. chal
andar"


Most BOYS don't lyk
Touch screen mobile,
U know why?
Jinhe dabane ki aadat
ho,
Unhe bas touch karne
me kahan maza aayega...!!!!


Azam Khan- Sirji election time kitna
boring hai, chalo kuch game khelte
hain...
Mulayam- Chal dekhte hai hum
dono mein se sabse bada bakchod
kon hai..!


 Teacher Ne Class Mein Pappu Se Pucha
Teacher: “Batao Ladkiya Dupatta Kyun Pahnti Hai?”
Pappu: “Mam, Science Ki Wajah Se”
Teacher: “Wo Kaisi”
Pappu: “Kyunki Science Bhi Is Baat Ko Manti Hai Ki Khane Peene Ki Cheezo Ko Dhakk Kar Rakhna Chahiye“


Ek jungle mein sare male janwar
female janwaar ko 24 ghante chodte
rahte the.. !!Saari female jaanwar
mil ke Brahmaji ke pass gayi aur
vardaan mangaa ke kam se kam ek
mahiney ke liye chudai se mukti
miley !Bramhaji ne SAB male
janwaron ke laudey kaat ke unko
token de diye aur boley ki ek
mahiney ke baad token lanaa aur
apna-apna lund le jaana.. !Shaam ke
time Bandar ped pe baitha
tha..Bandariya ne usey chedtey hue
kaha:"Chodsaaley,bhenchod ! Ab
chod naa mujhe"?Bandar kuch nahi
bola.Bandariya fir boli"Chod na
Bhadve, chod na behen ke laudey.."!!
Bandar ne ek choti si smile di aur
bola:"Ek maheena ruk ja
haraamzaadi ! Maine Haathi ka token
churaya hai..."!!!


The best ever English to hindi
dictionary for guys:
xcuse me= sun chutiye;
stupid= abe gandu;
get out=Nikal bhosdike;
I m in problem = Yaar loude lag gaye;
I am scared= gaand phati hui hai yaar;
Where r u= Abbey Kahan maa chuda raha hai;
Would u like to have this= lega laudu;
Not possible!!!= chal bhosdike;
He is a very bad person= Bada madarchod hai;
I'm sorry = maa chuda;
Where r u? = kahan gaand mara raha hai?;
I 4give u! = muh mei le le;
No = ghanta;
Too small= jhaant barabar;
Too big= gaand faadu;
Difficulty= gaand faat gayi;
We rock= maa chod di;
And finally the best one:
Dost= laude......



Teacher: "What Is A Condom?".
Aamir Khan Muskurane Lag Jata Hai.
Teacher: "Aap Itna Muskura Kyu
Rahe Ho?".
Aamir: "Sir!, Wo Kya Hai, Bachpan Se
Iccha Thi
Ki Main Sex Education College Mein
Padhu! Aaj
Yaha Padh Raha Hu, Bahut Maza Aa
Raha Hai".
Teacher: "Zyada Maza Lene Ki
Zarurat Nahi Hai,
Condom Ki Defination Bolo?".
Aamir: "Sir! Condom Is Anything
Which Reduces
Population".
Teacher: "Will U Plz Elaborate?".
Aamir: "Har Wo Cheez Jo Population
Control
Kare!"".
Baccha Paida Nahi Karna Hai,
Condom Hai Na"
"Masti! Chahiye Raat Se Lekar Subah
Tak,Condom Hai Sir"
"Actualy Sir! Hum Condom Se Ghire
Hue Hai"
"8th Class Ke Ladke Se Lekar Mujh
Tak, Sab
Condom Ka Use Kar Rahe Hai"
"1 Second Mein In,1 Second Mein
Out, In-Out,
In-Out".
Teacher: "Arre... Defination Kya
Hai?".
Aamir: "Wo Hi To Bata Raha Hu Sir".
Teacher: "Exam Mein Ye Sab
Likhoge?".
"Ye Condom Hai! Masti! Raat Se
Lekar Subah
Tak!
Idiot""Anybody Else??".
Chattur: "Sir!, Condom Are Between
Any
Combination Of Body So Connected,
That Their
Relative Positions May Be Seen In
Kamasutra..
."Teacher: "Wah! Kya Baat Hai."



Marzi Ka Sex Pap Nahi Hota..Piche se
Dalne Wala Kabhi Baap nahi
Hota..Condom Zarur Lagana Mere
DostQki..Sex k Waqt POPAT Ke Pass
Dimag nahi hota. Dirty Shayari


HUSBAND WANTED
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided
that it was time to.get married. She
put an ad in the local paper that
read:
HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN
PERSON.
On the second day she heard the
doorbell. Much to her dismay, she
opened the door to see a gray-
haired gentleman with no arms or
legs sitting in a wheelchair.
The old woman said, "You're not
really asking me to consider you, are
you? Just look at you ... you have no
legs!" The old man smiled,
"Therefore I cannot run around on
you!"
She snorted. "You don't have any
hands either!"
Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I
beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and gazed
intently. "Are you still good in bed?"
With that, the old gentleman leaned
back, beamed a big broad smile and
said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"


What's the difference between
movies having Certificate - U, A, XX,
XXX?
U: Hero gets the heroine
A: Villain gets the heroine
XX: All the actors get the heroine
XXX: Entire shooting unit gets the
heroine
??????


BE A FRIEND LIKE WOMAN'S BRA
COLOURFUL
COMFORTABLE
STRETCHEABLE
SUPPORTIVE
HOLDING TIGHTLY
NEVER LET GO DOWN
ALWAYS NEAR THE HEART


Pappu: Dad, today they taught
about Sex in the class.
Santa: Ok son.
Later he saw Pappu shaking his
penis, he asked what r u doing?
Pappu: Homework Dad....


There are 2 girls in heaven first girl:
how did you die 2nd girl: well i froze
everything waz really cold but then
it got warm how did u die first girl:
well i was sure my husband was
cheetin on me so i came home early
from work one day and he was sittin
on they coach watchin t.v. but i was
so sure i ran around the house and
checked inb closets and underbeds.
then i had a heartattack 2nd girl :
well if you would have looked in the
freezer we both would have been
alive!!!!


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