Funny

Munna:Circuit yar barish k waqt bijali kyuchamkti he Circuit:Bhai boleto uparwala torchmaar k dekhtahoega ki kahisala Sukhato nahirehgaya

Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua? Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai

1 Truck 2sreTruck ko Rasise bandhkar leja rahatha Ye dekh ek aadmi HasHaskar Lotpot hogaya aur kahnelaga: Ek Rasiko lejane keliye do doTruck

MunnaBhai: Yaar yeh kutte poonch kyon hilate hain? Circuit: Common sense Bhai! Ab poonch kutte ko to nahin hila sakti na..!!

Santa: Oye Yaar! agar electricity nahi hoti to kya hota? Banta: Kuch nahi yaar, hame candle light me T.V dekhna padta...

Gulab to Gulab hai Chahe use tum sone ke kunde me rkho ya mitti ke Dost to aap hamare ho Chahe aap central jail me raho ya pagal khane me

Doctor:You and your wife have same blood group. Husband: Yeh to hona hi tha 20 saal se mera khoon jo pi rahi hai.

FATHER: tune colleg me muskil kam konse sikhe SON: 2 muskil kam sikhe danto se beer ki bottle kholna aandhi me 1 tili se cigaratte jalana

Aap k chehre par udasi aur aankho me nami hai Aapke chehre par udasi aankho me nami hai TATA NAMAK istemaal karo aap me iodine ki mai hain

Gunde ke beta orals me fail hua bap se bola; un logon ne 3 ghante tak meri puchtach ki magr apun b teri aulad he sala muh tak nahi khola.

Log kehte hai ki 40,000/- ka royal paint lagaye to ghar rangeen dikhta he. Are pagal 400/- ki ROYAL STAG piyo, sara shehar rangeen dikhega

Y do women spend so much time on improvng their LOOKS & not their MIND? coz they knw that men r STUPID, but not BLIND

Tera Pyar "Pana" hai .. Tera Pyar "Pana" hai .. Tera Pyar "Pana" hai .. Aur Mera Pyar "Screw driver" hai?

Husband 2 Hotel Managr: Jaldi chalo,meri biwi khidki se kud kar jaan dena chahti hai Managr:Wat can I do? Hus: Kamine, Khidki nahi khul rahi.....

Man on phone:Doc my wife is pregnant.She is having pain right now. Doctor:Is this her 1st child? Man on phone:No dis is her husband speaking.

Quotes

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. - Eden Ahbez

The opposite of loneliness, it's not togetherness. It is intimacy. - Richard Bach

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I know I'm beautiful, or so I've often been told. But would you still love me when I'm ugly and old - Catherine in Hero's Quest One

Love is like a spice. It can sweeten your life � however, it can spoil it, too. - Confucius

Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Falling in love is not at all the most stupid thing that people do � but gravitation cannot be held responsible for it. - Albert Einstein

He is not a lover who does not love forever. - Euripides

For every lover is, in his head, a madman and in his heart a minstrel. - Neil Gaiman

A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave. - Mahatma Gandhi

And think not you can direct the course of love; for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. - Khalil Gibran

If I love you, what business is it of yours? - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are. - Houssaye

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. - Helen Keller

What will survive of us is love. - Philip Larkin

The laws of love are written in the heart of every human being by the hand of God. - Anonymous

The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring. - Oscar Wilde

An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge. - John Wesley

To love and be loved, is to feel the Sun from both sides. - David Viscott

Love conquers all; and let us submit to love � Virgil

Flirty

Was that cannon fire, or is it my heart pounding?

I've lost my phone number: can I have yours?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?

Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

You look a lot like my next-girlfriend.

Can I have directions? (To where?) To your heart!!

Did it hurt? (What?) When you fell from heaven?

Excuse me, you dropped something. (What?) My jaw.

Do you have any raisins? (No.) How about a date?

Hi. My friend over there said that I couldn't start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room... can you help me out?

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.

I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen

You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

How was heaven when you left it?

You must be magical, because I've fallen under your spell.

Sweet smss

Whenever you want to know how rich you are! don't count your money, just drop a tear from your eye and see how many hands are there to wipe

Friendship is not a COllection of hearts,but it is Selection of Hearts. All Friends are not true, BUt True Friends are Very Few Like You

Sum moments wud never pass,sum feelings can never be stolen,sum emotions can never be hidden,sumbody just like u,can never be forgoten

be close with someone who makes u happy. but.. be closer with someone who cannot be happy without u.. feel the difference..!

Copper Silver Gold Platinum Radium All metals r valuable but they have no comparison with U kyon ki... HEERA hai sada ke liye!!

2 live a life i need heartbeat,2hv hrtbeat i ned a hrt,2hv heart i need hapnes,2hv hapins i ned a frnd & 4 a frnd i ned u alwys.

I knew I loved you when I realized that there was no one else I would rather laugh cry and make memories with

A Lovr ask god ""why life is so tough wen we are in love?"" God replied ""just think how beautiful and easy life is when you are with the person you love.

Knock!!!Knock!!! May I come into ur world???i bring no flowers,No cakes,But wishes to keep U fresh,Prayer to keep u healthy,And love to keep

Sum promises r always unbroken sum memories r always unwritten. . feel the magic of TRUE RELATION and u'll know tht some words r always unspoken..

When u cry for someone See that the person has Value for your Tears Dont cry for someone Who considers your tears, As Drops of Water

set a place for me in ur heart & not in ur mind, for the mind easily forgets but the heart always remembers

If u had 2 pick some 1 from whom u love & 1 who luvs u, pick the 1 who luvs u because u can learn 2 luv some 1, bt cnt teach any1 2luv u

Always be happy always wear a smile not coz life is full of reasons to smile but coz ur smile itself is a reason to many others to smile

If u ask me for how long i will love u,my answer will be i dont know! Bcoz i really dont know which is longer - FOREVER or ALWAYS!!

Earth may stop rotating, birds may stop flying ,candles may stop melting,fish may stop swiming,heat may stop beating but i never stop missin

Shayris

pyar pe bas to nahi hai mera lekin fir bhi tu mujhe bata de ki tujhe pyar karu ki na tune khud apni adao se jagaya hai jinhe un tamanao ka ijhar karu ki na

jo rista kayam hai wo hum nibhayenge nigaho se dur rahkar bhi aapko chahenge pata nahi aapne kiske saath ghar basaaya par hum aapka naam lete lete mar jaayenge

Deewana hoon tera...Inkar nahin Kaise keh du ki pyaar nahin...Kuch shararat to teri najaron ki bhi thi mein akela hi gunhegar nahin

Khayalon mai bus tum hi tum ho, bana diwana Kwahishein tadpati hai bus ek bar mil jana. Bahut hai mushkilen hos-o-hawash rakhta hun Ab tumhi batao chalega kab tak yeh tadpana.

Zindagi se bas yehi gila hain, Khushi ke baadh, kyu gham mila hain, Humne to unse wafaa hi ki thi.. Par nahi jaante the ki wafa kaa bewafaai hi silaa hai

Unhe chahana meri kamzori hai unse kehnahi pana meri majburihai woh kyun nahi samajte meri khamoshi kokya pyr ka izharkarna zarurihai

Galti se pyar kar baithe ham nadan the uski aadat uski fitrat se anjan the waqt ne hmko khilona bna diya wrna ham bi kabi mehfilo ki jaan te

Kash banane wale ne hume aasu banaya hota or unki ankho me basaya hota, jab girte unki ankho se unki god me,to marne ka maja kuch or he hota

Kisina kisipe kisiko aitbar ho jata he, ajnabi koi shaks yar ho jata he, khubiyo se nhi hoti mohabat sada,kamiyo se bi aksar pyar ho jata he

Mere ishq me dard nahi tha par dil mera bedard nahi tha Hoti thi meri aankhon se neer ki barsat par unke liye ansu or pani me fark nahi tha

Pee k raat ko usko ham bhulane lage Sharab me gum ko gholkar khane lage Yeh daru bhi kambakht bewfa nikli Nashe me vo aur yaad ane lage

Dard se dosti ho gayi yaaron, Zindagi bedard ho gayi yaaron. Kya hua jo jal gaya aashiyana hamara, Door tak roshni to ho gayi yaaron

Hasi ke palko ko phir aabad kar rahi thi,chand se tumhari bat kar rahi thi.Dilko bada sukun mila jankar ki tum bhi hame yad kar rahe the

Zarasi bat dertak rulati rahi,Khusi mebhi aankhe aansu bahati rahi,Koi mil k kho gaya to koi kho k mil gaya,Zindagi hmko bas aazmati rahi

Adat hai teri yad ane ki. En akhoko teri ek zalak pane ki. Hamari to tamanna hai apko pane ki par shayad apki adat hai hame tadpane ki..

HUTCH, BSNL

Lalu k pichhe ek chhota sa kutta pad gaya..!!
Lalu bola..!! Sala hum to BSNL ka card dalaya hu..
Ye sala HUTCH ka Network kaise pakad lia.

Reliance, Bsnl

Dhiru(fr swarg):beta anil reliance communication kaisa chal raha hai
Anil:hello
hello..
kuch sunai nahi de raha hai aap mere BSNL wale no.par call karo!

BSNL

A Sardar saw a very high BSNL tower & Redlight glowing on d top & said "India is developing fast,see there are traffic signals 4 Aeroplanes"

Airtel, Hutch, Bsnl, RIM, Idea

Sweet persons talk from-AIRTEL, Lovers talk frm-HUTCH, Duffers talk-BSNL, Beuties talk-RIM but brilliants never talk.THEY SEND-SMS 4m IDEA...

Hutch, Bsnl

Aftr Marriage Like HUTCH- Wherever U Go Netwrk Follws,
Aftr Kids Like BSNL- All Lines R Busy Plz Try Aftr Sme Time...!

BSNL, Hutch, Airtel, Idea

Zyada SHAANPATTI nahi karne ka kya.

Mobile me bhi BHAI logon ka Raaj chalta hai!

B..(BSNL)
H..(Hutch)
A..(AirTel)
I..(idea)

BSNL, Aircel, Airtel

Now. Hutch is vodafone
in future BSNL will be bondafone
Aircel will b purifone
Airtel will b idlifone
&ur phone will be dabbafone

BSNL

Complete the sentence:
_____LAND_____ BHAARI CH00T. ,

tumhari soch gandi hai.





Answer: BSNL LANDLINE PAR BHAARI CH00T.

Hutch, Reliance, Tata Indicom, Airtel, BSNL, Idea

RELIANCE ka palang,
BSNL ka gadda,
AIRTEL ka takiya,
TATA ki rajai,
Usme Aap aur
aapki Lugai,
fir HUTCH HUTCH.. Ki awaj aai,
Wat an IDEA.. Sirji.
Happi thund!

Spice, BSNL, Airtel, Hutch, Reliance

Dewali offer!
Today All India Spice To Spice,
BSNL To BSNL,
Airtel To Airtel,
Hutch To Hutch,
Reliance To Reliance, Totally Free!





Missed Calls Only

Nokia, Hutch, Reliance, Tata Indicom, Airtel, BSNL

*Emergency*
Yestraday my NOKIA mobile met an accident due 2 a Hutch dog, in Reliance rd, near TataIndicom circle.
Then my NOKIA was admitted in
Airtel hospital,
BSNL nagar,
Doctor Motorola said;it is serious,lots of SMS needed.
So pls donate msgs 2 save my NOKIA.

WHISPER

beautiful girls went to swim in a swimming pool
but suddenly all the water disappeared.How?
NAYA whisper ab Pehele se bhi jyada gilapan sokhe.

WHISPER

SHAITAN khuda se bola mujhe sab se khubsurat bana taki mai sunder ladkiyon ka khoon pee saku
KHUDA haskar bole ja tujhe "WHISPER" banadiya

WHISPER

Hey dude Congrats! Heard u got selected as the first male model for Whisper advertisement. Why should girls have all the fun.

Condom, Whisper

Condom 2 whisper: Every month u stop my business 4 1 week.
Whisper: If u make a mistake I lose my business for 9 months.

WHISPER

What is the similarity between Whisper and Netaji Subash Chandra bose
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Tum muje khoon do ...mein tumhe aazdi doonga

WHISPER

Banta's advice: Don't carry umbrella during Rain....
Keep WHISPER on ur head kyunki yeh ghanton tak geelepan ka ehsas bhi na hone de !!!

WHISPER, LAAGA CHUNARI MEIN DAAG

I HAD ADVISED RANI MUKHERJI TO USE WHISPER BT SHE DIDN'T. THEN? ? ? ? THEN WHAT? LAAGA CHUNARI MEIN DAAG ! :-)

WHISPER

Garib Wife- suno ji "WHISPER" chahiye.
Garib husband- yaha bhukh mitane ke liye roti nahi
aur tujhe c h o o t sukhane ke liye ''DOUBLEROTI'' chahiye..

Colgate, sunsilk, ponds, whisper

COLGATE ke add me Daant dikhate hai, SUNSILK me Baal, PONDS me Chehra...magar WHISPER ke add me.....? Sale hume chootia banate hai. "JAGO GRAHAK JAGO...!"

Pepsodent, Colgate, Nokia, Condom

Pepsodent condom-Raat bhar dhishum dhishum.
Colgate condom-ye hai hamara surakhsha chakra.
Nokia condom-Connecting people.

Colgate, Pepsodent, Babul, Harpic

colgate se daat saf karne ka,
Pepsodent se majboot karne ka
Babul se fresh karne ka
AGAR PHIR BHI SAFED NA HUA TO Bindaas HARPIC USE karaneka

Cello, Lux, Amul, Colgate

CELLO"
The pen of India
"LUX"
The soap of India
"Amul"
The taste of India
"COLGATE"
The paste of India
"U"
The waste of India

Colgate, shampoo, whisper

Colgate ke AD me dantto ko dikhate hai.
Shampoo k AD me ballo ko dikhate hai.
lekin whispar ke AD me hamare sath dhokha kyon karte hai.
jaago giraak jaago..

Cadbury, Asian Paints, Colgate, Stay Free-Whisper

Aapke life mein mithaas ho "Cadbury" jaise
Rounak ho "Asian Paints" jaise
Tazgi ho "Colgate" jaise
Aur tension-free "Stay Free" jaisa.

COLGATE

Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries.
In spanish, Colgate translates into the command - go hang yourself

WHISPER

A boy donates blood to his gf.
Kuch din baad ladai ho gaye.
Boy ne apna khoon manga to girl ne apna WHISPER uske muh par mara aur boli monthly instalment me le le.

TATA

Blockbuster film: Singur Niye Khela
Action hero: Buddhadeb
Dustumisti nayika: Mamata
Atithi Shilpi: Medha Patekar
Producer: Ratan Tata
Kritayagata Sikar: West Bengal

BSNL

Srdr: mujhe fone per dhamkiya mil rahi hain
Police:kaun hai woh?
Srdr:BSNL wale bolte hain k bill na Bhara to "kaat denge"

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