Best Non Veg sms message jokes

1. 

Ek Aurat Auto Rukwa Kar Paise Tay Karte-Karte Doosre Auto Mein Baith Gayi.

Pehla Auto Wala Hadbadi Mein Jaldi-Jaldi Se Bola.

Auto Wala: “Ye Kya Baat Hui, Madam? Khada Aapne Mera Karwaya, Aur Chadd Doosre Par Gayi?“


2. 

Ek kutiya ne 4 pillon ko janam diya
Pillon ne pucha papa kahan hai
kutiya boli chup raho kamino
papa jokes ko padhne mein busy hain..


3.

Boy- I want to sex with u
Girl- Tamij se baat karo
Boy- Alla tala k fazlo karam se khuda ka ye nek banda
ap mohtarma ko arju-e-fitrat se be inteha chodna chahta hai….


4.

Ek hizde ne armi ke sare test pass kar liye sex test me manager bola aapka to lund hi nahi hai
tab hizda bolta hai manager se
ye bataiye aapko goli chal bani hai ya maa chud bani hai


5.

Santa comes bleeding.
Banta: What happened?
Santa: Jaggu hit me with hammer.
Banta: Didn’t u hv anything in ur hands?
Santa: I had. Banta: What? Santa: His wife’s boobs!


6.

ladki boli 200 loongi, HIL HIL k maza du gi…
ladka bola 100 doonga HIL mein khud lu ga..
ladki boli to phir ye 100 bhi bacha le aur hath se HILA le….


7.

Lady-Dr.mere pati mujhse Romance nahi

karte..

Dr-ye lo 30 goliyan, 1goli roj khilana.

Lady ne 1 Goli di pati ne us raat romance

kiya..

Agle din usne 2 Goli di, to pati ne khoob jor

se romance kiya..

Teesre din usne puri 27 goliya dudh me dal

ke pila di..

3 din baad, Dr. ne lady k bete se uski maa

ka haal poocha tho beta bola-

Maa mar gayi,

Chachi&mausi hospital me hain,

Kaam wali bhag gayi,

Pados wali aunty ne papa pe rape case

thok diya hai,

Mera pichwada abhi bhi dukh raha hai,

Chota bhai jhaadiyo me chipa hai,

Aur papa garden me nange hokar tommy

ke pichhe bhag rahe hain………


8.

Ek pagal nanga bazar mein ghoom raha tha

Uska lund bahut bada tha,

Ek aurat ne dekha to boli

Hamara desh tarakki kaise karega

Saare kaam ke admi to pagal hai…..


9.

Class mein shor ho raha tha teacher nahi tha,

Principal entered in class an asked angrily:

Kis ka period chal raha hai?

4 larkian sharmatay hue: Sir Hamara


10.

Girl Friend: Mera rishta aaya hai aur shadi hone wali hy.

Boy Friend: That’s Good,

Phir to hum condom ke bina sex kar sakenge…..


11.

Boy during Sex: Kyun na hum shadi kar lein, phir hum roz aisa kar sakenge.

Girl: Mazdoor ho Mazdoori karo, factory ka maalik ban-ne ki koshish na karo.


12.

Pati patni sex kar rahe thhe, pati ko kaafi josh chada hua thha,

Patni: “Zara dheere karo kyu Rajhdhani Express chala rahe ho”

Itne mein unka beta bed se nichhe gir gaya aur bola

“Jo marji chalao par passangers ko to niche mat girao“


13.

Husband ne first night ke baad next day apni biwi se poochha: “Tum aaj tak kitne logon ke sath soyi ho?”

Wife: “Such boloon to sirf aap ke sath hee soyi hoon, baki sabne saari saari raat jaagaye rakha…”


14.

Badi hasrat thi dil ki,

Kholein unki salwaar ka nara,

Sanam ki berukhi to dekho ki,

Nange hi chale aaye……


15.

What is the similarity between burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend?

In both cases boy thinks, “Ek minute pehle nikal liya hota to kitna achcha hota”


16.

Ladki santa ka private saman dekh kar boli: “itna bada”

Santa khushi se bola: “O ji hum punjabi hain hamara to sub kuch hi bada hota hai”

Jab ladki ne apni salwaar utaari to santa uski choot dekh kar bola “Oye! Tusi vi punjabi ho“


17.

Pathan ek ladki ke saath sex kar raha tha

Ladki boli: “Aur andar, thoda uppar, thoda right, thoda left”

Pathan: “Oye! Tu sex kar rahi hai ya mujhse car park kara rahi hai“


18.

Maalik: Tum bathroom mein kyu ghus aaye, Kya tumhe pata nahi tha ki mein naha raha hoon?

Naukar: Hazur galti ho gayi, mein samjha tha begum sahiba hai……


19.

SUHAG RAAT WIFE: Piche nahi aage dalte hai

Sardar: Tuje kaise pata?

WIFE: Mera dost mere aage se dalta tha

Sardar: Chup kar mera dost mere pichhe dalta tha????


20.

A girl was handling a boy’s cock for the first time.

After some time few drops came out, she sked what’s that?

Boy said: “Yeh khushi ke aansoo hai, pagli……”


21.

Ek Aurat Apne Padosi Ke Sath Sex Kar Rahi Thi K Tbhi Uska Pati Aa Gaya Aur Padosi Ko Pitne Laga Patni Boli: Maro Aur Maro Prai Aurat Pe Hath Dalta Hai Itne Me Padosi Uske Pati Ko Pitne Laga Patni Fir Boli: Maro Aur Maro Na Karta Hai Na Karne Daita Hai………


22.

Teacher: Why LOVE Is Better Then WAR?

Santa: Madamji, Tusi Itna Bhi Nahi Jante,

Simple,Bcause

CONDOM Is Cheaper Then GUN !!!


23.

Madam Ne English Period Mein Munni Se Puchha,

Madam: “Translate This Sentence In Hindi – Pappu Gives Me 14 And 15 Rupees”

Munni Sharmate Hue: “Mam, Pappu Ne Mujhe Choda Aur Pandra Rupaye Diye.

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