Bumper Stock: New Non-veg jokes

BHAKT-'Baba Chut or Chutiye me kya antar hai?
BABA-'Jo aadmi ko pagal kar de use chut kehte hai,
Aur Jo chut ke piche pagal ho jaye use Chutiye.
*****

Suhagraat ko During Fucking.
Santa:teri to bahut badi hai?
BIWI gusse se:Meri Car, Cash, Jewellery, AC, Fridge vapis karde.
Santa:Sorry, sorry meri lulli hi bahut choti hai.
*****

2 Nangi ladkiyo ne bank loot liya.
Bahar aake 1 boli:Chal ab kapde pehan le, koi pehchan nahi payega..
Qki kisi bhi kamine ne shakal to dekhi nahi hogi..
*****

A Journalist to Osho:
Do U know wat all men & women r Doing in your Ashram?
Osho:Mere ko kya?
Journalist:lekin ye to Apka Ashram Hai.
Osho:Fir bhosdike tere ko kya!
*****

Logo ne kaha pyar 1 dard hai,
humne kaha dard kabul hai,
logo ne kaha is dard ke sath ji na paoge,
humne kaha tumhari jaat ka baida ab tum hame
THOKNA sikhaoge.
*****

Professor to girl-tumhara naam?
Girl- ji mohini.
Prof- age kya lagati ho.
Girl- ji whisper.
Prof- sorry i, mean piche kya lagati ho?
Girl- ji sarso ka tel.
*****

Lady- Doctor, mere pati ka nasbandi kardo..
Dr.- kyun.?
Lady- kya karu, Mujhe 5 wa mahina chal raha hai,
Ghar me meri behen ka choutha mahina,
Kamwali ka teesra mahina.
Hamari bhais ka doosra, Kal hamari kutiya ne bhi ulti ki,
Dr- Tumara pati kaha hai.?
Lady- Woh dekho, Hass Hass Ke SMS padh raha hai.!
*****

Girl to Swami- Mujhe Bhavishya dekhna sikhao?
Swami- Kapde utaro aur Ghodi ban jao.
Girl- Tum mujhe chodne wale ho?
Swami- Dekha, Dikhne laga na bhavishya.
*****

Adhyatmic Sex:
SUKH or SANTOSH ke bich me kya faraq hai?
"Jivan me apni pasand se thokne ko mile,
to wo hai SUKH..
Or
Jo mile.. Use thokna pade
Wo hai SANTOSH.
*****

Police:Tumne apne BF ko Q mara?
Girl:Haramkhor ne bed pe giraya, Bra utari, phir underware utari, phir tang uthai, CONDOM pehna Or fir harami bola APRIL FOOL.
*****

Pareshan biwi, ek raat uthkar JAN GAN MAN gane lagi.
Pati- Ye kya kar rahi ho?
Biwi- Ek aakhri koshish kar rahi hoon, iss par to pura Bharat khada ho jata hai.!
*****

Dr. to Lady:Jorse Sans lijiye.
Lambi or lambi or
KHATAK awaaz aayi.
Dr.:Lagta hai apke gale me Fracture hai.
Lady:Chup chutiye, BRA ka hook tut gaya hai..
*****

7 Qualities to B Perfect Woman.
Beautiful,
Responsible
Energetic,
Adorable
Sweet,
Truthful
Self-Organised.

In short, she must have good BREASTS.
*****

Jinke ankhon me asoo aur hoto pe hasi hogi,
Jinke ankhon me asoo aur hoto pe hasi hogi,

Wah wah

to samajh lena uski GOTI Zip me fasi hogi..
*****

Salesman:Sir, main us retailer ke paas nahi jaunga, 15-20 baar gaya par maal nahi leta.
Boss:Q be, agar BV bacha nahi degi to kya chodna chhod dega?
*****

Responce after Sex:
Prostitute:Paise Nikal.
GF:Maza aa Gaya.
Padosan:Fir Kab Aavoge?
Wife:Have ek athhavadiya shanti rakhajo..
Sali:BV ko divorce doge na?

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