Fresh from the stock - Non-veg adult sms messages

A man wanted 2 get married!He had a choice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wid big tits!


Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!


I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Every thucking day!


23 useless parts on a mans body.20 nails u cant hammer.2 balls u cant throw &1 cock that cant "crow".dont laff ladies??UR PUSSY CANT CATCH MICE


T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u.We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u.not even a network


Why do women have orgasms during sex???It gives them something to moan about even when they are fuc***g enjoyin themselves.


Do you like maths?if so add a bed subtract ur clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!


(_!_)An Ass (__!__)Fat Ass (!)Tight Ass (_?_)Dumb Ass (_*_)Sore Ass (_zzz_)Tired Ass (_E=mc2_)Smart Ass (_x_)Kiss my Ass!!


HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN: caress excite cuddle fascinate spoil kiss rub tease pamper console worship respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: blow job


Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!


like your style- I like your class- but most of all i like your Ass!


Latest porn releases:shaving private ryan.position impossible.as big as it gets.forest hump.riding miss daisy.starwhores and pornocchio


I want triplets You want twins.Lets get in bed and see who wins!


A teacher ask"wot part of the body goes to heaven first?"A child replies"feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!


A girl who opens her hands recieves gifts.who opens her heart recives love.who opens her legs recieves happines.


if u were a drum id bang u.if u were a pig id pork u.if u were a flower id root u.if u were a nail id screw u.but cos ur a sweetie ill make love 2 u!


I want to suck you... I want to lick you... I wanna move my tongue all over you... I want to feel you in my mouth... that's how u... eat an ice cream...


Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.


Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good


A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when theres a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!

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