Fresh new latest non-veg sms messages jokes

Ek Din Santa Mele me Gaya.
Wahan 2 Line Lagi Thi. Ek Line ke Aage Likha Tha “Dekhne ke 20/- Rs.”
Dusri Linke ke Aage Likha Tha “Karne ke 10/- Rs.”
Santa Ne Karne ki Ticket Le Li.
Ander usko Karne ke Liye Bakri Di Gayi.
Santa Ne Paise Wasulne ke Liye Bakri ki Le Li.Next Day, Santa ne Dekhne ki Ticket Li.
Santa Ne Aage wale Admi Ko Pucha –
Santa : “Kyu Bhai, Ye Kya Dikhayege?”
Admi : “Aaj ka To Pata Nahi, Kal Ek Sardar Ko Bakri Ki Lete Hue Dikhaya Tha!!!”.
.
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Bechara Santa!!!*********************************************************************************************************



Pappu = Kal papa ke room se pray karney ki aawazein aa rahi thi.

Jeeto = Ye to achchi baat hai.

Pappu = Papa to chup the, unki secretary chilla rahi thi ‘O God…O God’…

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Santa ek din badaa confuse sa tha aur usne banta se pucha..

Santa = “Yaar teri biwi chalu hai, mujhe hamesha dekh ke muskurati rehti hai..?”

Banta = “Oye nahin yaar aisa kuch nahin hai, usne mujhse suhagraat pe puchha tha,

kya maine kabhi kisi ke saath sex kiya hai, to maine tera naam le liya tha”….

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Ek pathan ki shaadi ke 3 din baad uski patni boli, “Maine aapse shaadi is liye ki hai

taaki humaare bachche hon, is liye nahi ke mujhe poty khul kar aaye”……

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1 girl ask to pappu = Woh kya hai jo cow ke paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain..?

Pappu = Legs

Girl = Woh kya hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahin hai..?

Pappu = Rupay

Girl = Woh kya hai jo log din main karne ke bajaye raat ko bistar pe kartay hain..?

Pappu = Neend puri karte hain…

Girl = Woh kya hai jo ladki pehli daffa karwate huye pain ki wajah se roti hai…?

Pappu = Kaan(Ear) main chhed..

MORAL = Aap bhi apni soch pappu ki tarha saaf rakhein….

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Banta road se gujar raha tha,

Achanak usne jhuk kar road se kuch uthaya, Or phir jor se chillaya….

Kamineee…

Potty bhi aise karte hain jaise “Samosa” pada ho….

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Mom = Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen.

Girl = Ladka to theek hai par mota hai.

Mom = TV chahe 14″ ka ho ya 29″ ka remote 6″ ka hi hota hai.

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Mother = Do u know the meaning of Mangalsutra?

Daughter = Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra.

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Sex is like a restaurant sometimes u get good service, sometimes bad service,

sometimes no service & many times u have to be happy wid self service….

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Santa = Mujhse pangaa mat le, main sher ka puttar hun..

Banta = Achchha yaar, ye to bata ki sher ghar aaya tha ya aunti jungle gayi thi….

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Ek din boss apne office time se pehle pohonch gaya, wahan pohonch kar

usne dekha ki manager secretary ko kiss kar raha hai..

Boss(ghusse mein) = Kya main tumko ye sab karne ke liye salary deta hun..?

Manager = Nahin sir, Ye sab to main free of cost karta hun….

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Nasbandi ki team ko dubara apne village me dekh kar ek budha bola,

“ In logo ne connection to pahle hi kat diya tha, ab kya handset bhi le jayege“..

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Girl = Main jab bhi apne pados wale ladke ko dekhti hoon, meri bra tight ho jati hai.

Maa Boli = “Kal se bra hi mat pehan, uski pant tight ho jayegi!!”

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Girl = Ab bas bhi kro raat ke 12 baje se kar rahe ho or subh k 5:30 baj chuke hai,

thake nahin..?

Boy = Abhi to kuch bhi nahin kiya ab to din raat karunga.

Kyunki mere 3000 msg jo free hai….

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Chota kid apni pant kholkr Gf se – tere pas h kya aisa wala?

Ldki-apni skirt kholi aur muskurte hue kaha Maa ne kaha h aisa wala h to waisa wala

boht milega
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SIX ya SEX:
Utha k Maro to SIX
Leta k Maro to SEX
Bahar Gaya to SIX
Ander Gaya to SEX
Dono Hath Upar to SIX
Dono Pair Upar to SEX
Enjoy ‘IPL’ with ‘ I-pill.

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Call Girl Ne Arz kiya:

‘Dheere-Dheere’ Karo Sanam,
Mandi Ka Zamana Hain.IsS Chhoti Si JAGAH Se Zindagi Bhar Kamana Hai”

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Sir 2 stud- Sab 1-1 doha sunao,
Pappu pahle tum sunao..

Pappu- Chidiya bathi ped pe,
Usne diya mut, Pintu ki ma ki chut..

Sir- Sabaas very gud,
Ab pintu tum sunao..

Pintu- Kabutar baitha neem par usne diya mut,
Pappu ki ma ka bhosada
Or master ki ma ki chut

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A very Clean Poem::

Vo soti rahi main karta raha,
Intzaar us ke jawab ka;

Abhi uske haath me rakha hi tha ke choot gaya,
phool gulab ka;

Usne kaha piche se nahin aage se karo,
deedar mere husn-e-shabbab ka;

Usne kaha bada maja aata hain jab andar jata hai,
kano me ek ek lafz tere pyar ka..

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Santa ki sadi hui suhag rat ke waqt wo apni bibi ko piche se karne laga

bibi-suniye ji aage se karte hai.

Santa-tumhe kaise pata.

Bibi-jab me colledge me thi mujhe gunde utha kar le gaye the unho ne aage se kiya tha.

Santa-sale ye gunde bahut confuse karte hai jab mujhe le gaye the piche se kiya tha.

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Chor ne dhudhwale ko nanga karke ped se bandh dia aur usko sari bhainse le gya…

Subah logo ne use khola to usne bhains ke bachde ko khub mara..?

Logo ne kaha is bejuban ko kyun mar rahe ho..

Dudhwala- ye bhenchod 4 mahine ka hogya ha par gandu ko ‘than’ aur ‘lund’ me fark nahi malum.
Maa chod di raat bar chuus chuus ke.

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Baba Ramdev: Beta, hamesha apne se badi ko Maa, chhoti ko beti aur barabar wali ko behen samjho.
Santa: Baba fir ye ghanta tum rakh lo,
Baba Ramdev: Kyo Beta
Santa: jadi-buti kutne k kaam aayega

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Great & Touching Lines By Sunny Leone:

Kiss Kiss Ka Khada Hai..?
..
..
..
..
.. ..
..
..
Ghar Ke Bahar Vehicle.
Jaldi Se Andar Rakh Lo,
Raat Honey Wali Hai….
Sunny Leone

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Kya Aapne Kabhi Muh Me Liya H??
.
Wo Mota Sa
,
.
Aas-Paas Baal
,
.
Naram-Naram
.
Uper Se Cover
.
.
.
Nevr??
.
Jhoot Bolte Ho?
.
Kabhi Bhutta Nhi Khaya.

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Sunny Leone Coming In Kbc 5.
Amithab Asks Her,
“Which One Is Ur Favorite Round?”
She Said-
“Fastest Finger First”….

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Santa Biwi Ke Office Gaya
Biwi Boss Ki Goad Me Bethi Thi
Santar: Chal Roopa,
Aisi Jagah Kaam Nahi Karna,
Jaha Staff K Liye Kursi Bhi Na Ho..

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Grls Dnt Read Dis Adult Joke==>>

Aaj-Kal Ke Bacche Aur Unke Doubts :D Girl – Teacher.!
Bus
Male Hai Ya Female……… .??
(Teacher Thinks Such A Cute Question)
Suddenly Another Boy Replied- Teacher, Its Female. Girl-
Why…..?? Boy- Kyoki Sab Log Uspe Chadte Hain, Idiot.
Teacher Got Tense With Answer
Whereas Girl In Doubt Again-
Agar Bus Female Hai Aur Sabuspechadte Hain To
Uske Bacche Kyo Nahi Hote…..??
Teacher More Tense.. .
Boy Again With
Answer- Kyoki
Sab Us Par Peeche Se Chadte Hai Duffer.
Teacher Sharm Se Pani Pani..
. But Girl Still In Doubt- Maana
Sabhi Peeche Se Chadte Hain,
Par Driver Aur Conductor To
Aage Se Chadte Hain. Phir Bachchekyon Nahin
Hote……??
Teacher Ki Saanse Band. .
.
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Boy. Final Reply-Kyon Ki Wohdono Topi Pehanke
Chadte Hain. Teacher Behosh..!!

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