Latest new adult non-veg sms messages jokes

LIC launches a new sexy Policy Jeevan Sambhog 
In partnership with MANFORCE condoms a
nd UNWANTED-72
The new punch line:- 
Thokne ke Saath Bhi, Thokne ke Baad Bhi.


Shop pe Ladki ne 36 ki Bra li or trial room me 
kameez uttar ke dukandar ko andr bulaya.
Dukandar ne Boobs dekh ke chusna shuru 
kar diye jin pe behoshi ki dawa lagi hui thi, 
Wo behosh ho gaya.
Ladki ne shop ka tamam Cash liya &
 jate hue shishe pe likh gai:
Khula Dudh Sehat ke lie Hanikarak Hai !!


Girl: condoms Dena..
Shopkeeper(masti main): kis liye -e-e-e
Girl(Gusse se): Tere baap ko gift karungi, 
taki tere jaisa dusra 
CHUTIYA paida na kare....


Fauji's wife daily sends her 
nude photo with both legs wide open ...
"Janu, I'll wait like this till you come!"
Fauji: Wo to theek hai, 
par photo kaun kheench raha hai??


Girl Friend: I demand gud manners in bed, 
just like at the dinner table ...
Sardar climbs into bed slowly & says: 
Honey, would you pass the boobs please??


Husband is praying before going to bed ...
Wife: What are you praying for?
Husband: For guidance.
Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!


  Call Girl (to 68 years old man): "Uncle,
aap ek baar try karo na!"
Uncle: "Main KAR nahi paaunga."
Call Girl: "Arre, aao na uncle, try to karo!"
Uncle aa gaye aur callgirl pe toot pade aur uski almost faad dali.
Call Girl: Haaye mar gayi. Aap to bol rahe the-
"kar nahi paaunga"
Uncle: "Wo to main PAYMENT ke baare me bol raha tha.


       Salim: Anarkali,CAN I HAVE SEX WITH U?
Anarkali: Aapne bahut badi cheez maang li jahanpanah.
Salim: Agar woh cheez bahut badi ho chuki ho, toh phir rehne do..


     GHOR KALYUG:
Boy :Chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chalte hain !
Girl :Tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge ?
Boy :Bilkul nahi !
.
.
.
.
Girl :To phir rehne de kameene :)

1.       CONDOM salesman:
Condom chahiye kya???
Marwadi: kam bhav ka khushbudar rahega to de.
Salesman:
Laude pe agarbatthi ka plastic lagake chod Bhosdike...


2.       MAUN-VRAT ke dinl
Wife ne Boobs hilake dikhaya
Husbd ne apna bahar nikal k dikhaya
Wife guse me-Mera matlb hai dudwala kab ayega
Hsbd: mera mtlab hai 1 Ghante me


3.       Girl: What do u prefer? Breasts or Legs??
Kuljit: Choot..!
Girl slaps & says: "Randi Khana nahi hai Bhosdi ke, KFC ka counter hai ye"..


4.       Jeevan ki 3 Hakiikat.
School ki Ghanti.
Garib ka Darwaja.
Jawan Ladki.
INKO JAB BHI THOKOGE
BACCHE HI BAHAR NIKLENGE !


5.       The Most emotional line said by a girl to a boy after break-up-
"Jaanu, hilaate waqt to yaad karoge na ?


6.       Ladki mandir me prasad lekar pandit k pair chhukar boli
koi gyan ki baat btao.
Pandit= Beti"Bra pehna karo"jhukti ho to
dhyan aur gyan
dono ki Maa chud jati he !!


Shadi Wali Raat Dulha Apni Dulhan Ko Sex Karne Ke Baad Apne
Ghar Ke Niyam Aur Kayde-Kanoon Samajhate Hue Bola.
Dulha: “Is Ghar Mein Rahna Hai To Kanjoosi Karni Padegi”
Dulhan: “To Phir Itne Sare Sikender-E-Azam Capsule Or Itna 
Sara Tel Lund Par Lagane Ki Kya Jarurat Thi,
Hamare Waha To Ye Kam Thook Laga Ke Hi Ho Jata Tha“

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