Very fresh and latest non-veg, adult, sexy sms messages jokes



Ek Bhari Bus Mein Ek Ladki Ke Peeche Khare Ek Ladke Ka Auzaar Ladki Ko Touch Kar Raha Tha.
Ladki Ne Us Ladke Ko Zor Se Thaapad Maara Aur Kaha: Kamine, Tharki... Khud Ko Khade Hone Ki Jagah Nahin Aur Tune Isko Bhi Khada Kar Rakha Hai...


Ek Kutte Ne Gadhe Ko Sota Dekha Toh Socha Ki Kuch Masti Ho Jaaye. Usne Gadhe Ki Lena Start Kar Di.
Gadha: Kya Kar Rahe Ho???
Kutta Hanste Hue: Kuch Nahi, Mazaak Kar Ra Raha Hun.
Gadha: Agar Maine Mazaak Kiya Na Toh Bhosdi Ke Toh Aankhein Bahar Aa Jayengi!!!


70 Saal Ka Ek Budha Apne Doctor Dost Se Bola: Mein Aaj Bhi Sex Karne Mein 1 Ghanta, 40 Minutes Aur 5 Seconds Lagata Hun.
Doctor, Hairani Se: Wah, Kya Baat Hai! But Is Umar Mein Bhi??? Kaise???
Budha: 40 Minute Khada Karne Main, 5 Second Dhakka Maarne Mein Aur 1 Ghanta Sex Ke Baad Hosh Mein Aane Ke Liye.


Teacher: Tumhaare Pita Ji Ka Kya Naam Hai?
Shararti Bachcha: Ji Madan Lal Darshan Lal Chaudhary.
Teache: Yeh Toh Bahun Lamba Hai, Koi Chota Naam???
Bachcha: Ma Dar Chod!!!


Pappu, Apne Teacher Se: Sir Aisi Kaun Si Cheez Hai Jiske Phatne Ki Awaaz Nahin Aati???
Teacher, Kuch Der Sochne Ke Baad: Chup Kar, BC, Kamina... Jab Dekho Gandi-Gandi Baatein... Dirty Mind!!!
Pappu: Sir Iska Answer 'Doodh' Hai......... Vaise Aap Bhi Apni Jagah Sahi Hain!!!!


Ladka-Ladki Hotel Ke Room Mein Jate Hai.
Jate Hi Ladka Apni Pant Utarata Hai Aur Ladki Dekhte Hi Bolti Hai
Ladki: “Yeh Kya? Condom Kahan Hai?”
Ladka: “Surprise…. Aaj Bina Condom Ke Hi Karenge”
Ladki: “Bahan Ch#d Agar Main 9 Mahine Baad Surprise Doon To Fir L#nd Jaisa Muh Mat Bana Liyo“


Girl (During sex): Nahi ye galat hai
Boy: But I Luv U
G: Fir b galat hai
B: Hum shaadi kar lenge
G: abe chutiye jahan daal raha hai, wo jagah galat hai..��


Sunny-Leon during her School…….
Chemistry ki class me teacher ne Sunny Leon se
pucha :-
What is Nitrate?.
Sunny Leone :-
sir,
Night rate 1500-
&
Hotel charges alag se lagenge"


Waqt kehta hai mujhe gawa mat,
Dil kehta hai mujhe laga mat,
Pyar kehta hai mujhe aazma mat,
Aur aaj-kal ki girlfriend kehti hai,
Daal Chutiye ghabra mat....


Ladies ka Blouse:
Yahan se Less,
Wahan se Less,
Kabhi sleeveLess,
Toh kabhi backLess,
Aur agar koi Aadmi ghoor k dekhe toh wo
Kutta Kamina Characterless...


Baba Saxidas Ke 2013 Ke Uttam
Quotes
1. Insaan Ka L*nd Aur Sarkari Kaam
Hamesha Latakta Rehta Hai
2. Ch*t Aur Doodh Ke Fatne Par
Hamesha Aurat Chillati Hai
3. Nai Dulhan aur Nai Gadi Kisi Dost
Ko Do To Thok Ke Hi Deta Hai
4. Nayi Ch*t Or Bhoot Kismat Walo
Ko Hi Dikhte Hai
5. Sex Or Tax Aadmi Ko Pagal Bana
Dete Hai


Teacher: What is the URDU word for a TOPLESS WOMAN Showing her BREAST..?
Pappu: KHUL - E - AAM..!!


Principal: Apne Bachhe Ko Jara Tameez Sikhao Aap!
Parent: Kya Hua Sir?
Principal: Application Form Ke SEX Wale Column Me Likha Hai: 'Kabhi Moka Hi Nahi Mila!'



Lover: Darling Tum Panties Kyon Nahi Pahenti?
Lady: Maine Apne Husband Ko VACHAN De Rakha Hai Ki Un Ke Ilawa Mein Kisi Ke Bhi Saamne Chaddi Nahi Utaarungi.


Girl: Ek Packet Condom Dena.
Dukandar: Kaun Si Company Ka Dun Behan ji???
Girl: Achche Waala Dena, Jis Se Teri Behan Ki Izzat Bhi Bani Rahe, Tu Mama Bhi Na Bane Aur Maza Bhi Pura Aaye...


Do Sisters Thi. Badi Waali Ka Pati Chota Tha Aur Choti Waali Ka Pati Bada Tha. Bai Waali Taras-Taras Ke Mar Gayi Aur Choti Waali Tadap-Tadap Ke...


Teacher: Condom Ko Urdu Mein Kya Kehte Hain?
Sab Chup Baithe Rehte Hain. Kisi Ko Nahi Pata Tha. Pappu Apna Khurafati Dimaag Daudaata Hai Aur Haath Khada Kar Ke Bolta Hai: Master ji Mein Bataun???
Teacher: Haan Paapu, Batao.
Pappu: Auzaar-E-Maza-E-Mohabbat-E-Bandish-E-Izafa-E-Nasal...!
Teacher: Seekho Kuch Is Pappu Se Nalaikon... Gubbara-Gubbara Karte Rehte Ho!


Pappu Apni Bike Pe Badi Speed Se Ek Ladki Ke Paas Se Guzra. Takraate-Takraate Bacha.
Ladki: Marega Kya???
Pappu: Nahin, Abhi Condom Nahin Hai, Phir Kabhi... Pakka...


Ek Baar Pappu Apni Girfriend Ko Ek Restaurant Mein Leke Jaata Hai. Romantic Sa Mahaul Tha... Dono Beer Aur Snacks Ke Maze Le Rahe The....
Thodi Der Baad Jab Banta Toilet Hai Toh Ek Ladki Preeto Ke Paas Aakar Dheere Se Kahti Hai: Paise Pehle Le Lena Is Haraamkhor Se... Ye Tharki Sex Karne Ke Baad Lafda Karta Hai... Puri Payment Nahin Karta!!!


Hot Girl in Hot Voice: Batao Mere Underwear Mein Kya Hai??? Batao?? Batao Na?
Pappu: Elastic Hi Hoga... Aajkal Naade Waali Kaun Pehenta Hai?
Ladki, Gusse Se: Tere Se Kuch Nahin Hoga... Saale Tu Single Hi Marega...


Ek Sharabi Pharmacy Mein Ghuskar Zotr Se Bola: 5 Condom De Oye!!!
Dukanwala: Sir Kuch Tameez Se Baat Kar Ke Bhi Banda Cheez Maang Sakta Hai.??
Sharabi Ne Jeans Ki Zip Kholi, Aur Bola: Mere Shehzade Ke Liye 5 Suit Dikhaayein Please !!!


Biwi: Mere Paas Proof Hai Ki Tumhaara Chakkar Padosan Ke Saath Hai.
Pati: Kya Proof Hai?
Biwi: Uska Pati Kal Raat Tumhaari Underwear Pahan Kar Aaya Tha.


Wife: Aaj Main Towel Mein thi Aur Room Mein Chachaji Aa Gaye..!
Pati: Phir Tune Kya Kiya?
Wife: TOWEL Ko Kholke GHUNGHAT Bana Liya...! Kuch SANSKAR Toh Mujh Mein Bhi Hain!!!


Santa: Chyawanprash Khane Se Chusti Rehti Hai..
Banta: Sach Mein??? Kaun Choosti Rehti hai... Mujhe Bhi Bata Yaar...
Santa: Abey BC... Chusti... Yaani Fitness.


Math Teacher to Pappu: Maan Lo Tumahre Paas 6 Lollypop Hain Jismein Se 3 Chintu Ne Chus Liye, 2 Ramu Ne Aur 1 Chhotu Ne Chus Liya... Batao Ki Ab Tumhare Paas Kya Bacha?
Pappu: Mere Paas Ghanta Bacha... Woh Aap Chus Lo!!!


Pappu Ke Dost Golu Ne Ek Din Us Se Puchha.
Golu: Yaar Ek Baat Toh Bata, Ye School Male Hota Hai Ya Female?
Pappu Kuch Soch Kar Bola: Yaar Ye Tho Mujhe Khud Aaj Tak Nahi Samajh Aaya, Kyunki Ismein Ghanta Bhi Hota Hai Aur Periods Bhi.


Pappu, Jab 4 Month Ka Tha Tab Santa Apni Wife Jeeto Se: Tum Pappu Ko Kya Pilati Ho?
Preeto: Doodh Aur Orange Juice.
Santa Ye Sun Kar Hawa Mein Uchhla Aur Biwi Se Bola: Oye, Tune Kabhi Bataya Nahi Ki Orange Juice Kis Side Se Aata Hai???


Banta: Kal Sapne Main Mujhe Koi Chaqoo Maar Raha Tha.
Santa: Tu Daar Mat Yaar, Agar Sapnay Sach Hotay Toh Main Pata Nahin Kitne Bachchon Ka Baap Hota.


English Teacher: Aaj Sabko 'My Best Friend' Par 10 Lines Likhni Hain.
Thodi Der Baad Pappu 1 Uthkar Puchta Hai: Madam, 'Bhosdi Ke' Ko English Main Kya Kehte Hain...????


Pappu's Roomate: Yaar, Kal Exam Hai, Tum Mujhe Subah Jaldi Utha Dena.
Epic Reply From Pappu: Mera Pakad Kar So ja, Ye Subah mujhse pehle Uth Jaata Hai!!!


Santa Ko Judwa Bachhe Chahiye The, Socho Usne Kya Kiya Hoga...
Socho
Socho
Socho
Socho
Socho
Yaar Dimag Lagao, It's Very Simple.... Abe Vo Santa Hai Uski Tarah Soch Na.... Nahi Samjh Aa Raha.........
Chalo Mein Bata Deta Hun: Usne Condom Ke Ander 2 Hole Kar Diye.


Kaho Santa ji Suhaag Raat Kaisi Rahi?
Kuch Mat Pooocho Yaar, Pehle 5-6 Baar Toh Missed Call Lagi Aur, Jab Sahi Number Laga Toh Balance Nil Ho Gaya.


Santa Apni Wife Se Sex Karne Laga To Wife Ne Usko Bola.
Wife: Sunoji, Aap Is Condom Se 15v Baar Kar Rahe Ho, Ab Bas Bhi Karo.
Santa: Oye Tu Pagal Ho Gayi Hai Kya, Ispe Expiry Date Toh Octobert 2015 Hai.


1st Friend: Teri BIWI Mujhe Dekhkar Hasti Kyon Hain??? Chalu Hai Kya???
2nd Friend: Nahi Re Shadi Ki Raat Usne Pucha Kabhi Kisi Bande Ki Maari Hai???
1st Friend: Phir, Tun Kya Kaha?
2nd Friend: Maine Tera Naam Bata Diya....


Santa Had a baby.
Santa: Bilkul Mere Jaisi Aankhein CHOTI-CHOTI, Mere Jaisi Naak CHOTI SI, Merei Jaise Ungliyaan, Choti-Choto Aur Patli-Patli... Wife Baby Ka Nappy Khol Ke Boli : Yahan KAKA NUMBER Maar Gaya!


Santa Ki Wife Tours & Travels Magazine Padhte Huye: Is Baar 2nd Honeymoon Ke Liye GREECE Kaisa Rahega?
Santa: Kyon? Greece Kyun? TEL Mein Kya Kharabi Hai???



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