New born baby girl best wishes, messages, smss

Isn’t she adorable
She’s so beautiful
May she grow up lovely like her mom.
And sturdy like her dad.

Warmest wishes to new parents.
She is such a delightful gift.
May the Lord keep and bless in guiding her footsteps.

Best wishes for your new baby!
She’s a heaven-sent gift
Now your home will be filled with laughter and cries of a sweet angel.
I’m so happy for both of you.

The long wait is over
The little angel has come!
We rejoice with you for this sweet gift
May she grow up to be a loving person with a gentle spirit.
Warmest congratulations.

Hello baby!
Can you see our sweetest smiles?
We’re all glad to welcome you!

New born baby boy best wishes, messages, smss

What a sweet arrival!
The whole family rejoices for a new born son.
May he be embraced with lots of love that surround him.

It’s not as easy as it gets
Holding in your arms an angel so delicate
With a bright future God has stored for him
Lots of victories and tons of grins.
He’s the sweetest angel in town.

It took nine months for him to finally see this world.
I surely see a very bright future for him ahead.

You’re so cute baby!
We can’t resist kissing you.

Hey sweetie!
I love to see you soon.
Welcome your little darling with a love-filled environment.
Be great parents to your charming baby!

I cannot help it.
You got me mesmerized, sweet little girl.
I am sure that you’ll bring so much fun, baby.
Keep others charmed.

Lovely, witty, amazing.
These are just few terms that popped on my mind the moment
I hold you in my arms, baby.
I will hug you with so much love the moment I’ll see you.

New born baby messages, card messages, congratulations messages, wishes, sms, messages

Unconditional love had been waiting for your arrival.
The world is too big for you, baby.
Let us guide your way.

Cheers to a precious gift!
A handful of contentment reflects on your parent’s eyes.
Congratulations to the new loving parents!

Heaven sent angel,
We adore you so much!
Welcome to your home, sweet one!

Our excitement goes forth
As we imagine how adorable your baby could be.
Those little hands and feet mean huge happiness to you!
Cherish every moment with your new baby!

You got a healthy and pretty baby.
Keep her nourished with love and beautiful values.

Dear baby, you are a blessing to your home and to this earth.
Put a smile on your mother and father’s face, cutie!
May you live with a kind heart my innocent darling.

Fall in love with blessings of love new parents!
Let us welcome you with our warmest hugs,
Kisses, and giggles.

Too gentle..
Too precious in our eyes.
We greet him with glee.
Welcome to the family.
May you grow in love and wisdom all the days of his life.

Congratulations to the parents!
Your son has finally come out.
To bring happiness and cheer to your days
May joy and peace be added to your years.

Congratulations for having a new baby!
It was all worth the pain and sacrifice.
It all faces when you see his smiles.
May he abide in the shadows of God’s grace.

I rejoice with you for having this gift.
May God use you as vessels
For this baby to become the person God wants her to be.

Welcome to parenthood!
Let the life of this baby be a light and brings joy and blessings to your home.
Enjoy this phase.
Congratulations to proud parents.
May she grow up to bring joy and laughter to your family.
Warmest wishes.

In few more days,
You’ll be holding cute little hands.
You are so blessed to bring forth a little one
that will make your world bigger.

You don’t know how happy the world is
As you presented another give of life.

Congratulations to the new mom and dad
That would create a difference to the world with their unique baby!
Congratulations on the daily and lovely opportunities of parenting!

Welcome to the moments of sleepless nights and endless caresses!
Congrats to you awesome couple!

Live the beautiful life of guardians!
I am so happy for you and your baby who got wonderful mother and father!

Congratulations on the big smiles in your faces
As you look at your blushing sweetheart.

Congratulations on the new home embraced by humor, excitement, and bliss!

You are going to be ever great guardians to your loveable one.
May more blessings shower your home, sweet, home.

Live an amazing life with your amusing baby!

Congratulations on having little hands to hold!

Congratulations on this important event of your married life!

Congratulations on the blessing that you are receiving!

For God pampering you with blessings, Congratulations!

Congratulations to the new parents
who’ll feed the child’s hunger for living!

Congratulations to you, mommy and daddy,
for giving me the best present ever! I so love my baby brother.

Congratulations on the long road that you have to travel!

Cheers to the tears of joy you’ve had!

Congrats to your blooming life together with your blushing child.

Cheers to the great values you will be imparting to your lovely one.

Dear Baby,
It’s just amazing how God loves you as He gave you the perfect parents.
Hey, mom and dad! Let’s celebrate parenthood!

May graces come forth in flying colors!
Congratulations dear lovers on your fruit of love!

Let’s celebrate proofs of love!
Congrats to you, mom and dad!

Let’s shout for joy as you are officially called mother and father now!

Adult non-veg & adult sms messages...

☻Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration?

☻Hi, I am an alien and I've just transformed into your phone and right now I'm having sex with your finger. I know you like it, because you're smiling now!!

☻Mean people suck, Nice people swallow! !

☻A peach is a peach, A plum is a plum, A kiss ain't a kiss, without some tounge. So open up your mouth, and close your eyes, and give your tounge Some exercise!


☻Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!

☻Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor. All the kings horses & all the kings men, laid the slut down & fucked her again!

☻Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69, just for fun or getting paid everyone loves getting laid.u'll get laid.

☻Kiss me and you will see stars; Love me and I will give them to you.

☻A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play magic? She asks: What do you mean? He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you disappear!

☻Love is a thing, sex is also a thing.

☻BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!

☻Roses are red, Pickles are green. I love your legs and whats in between.

☻I like your style. I like your class, but most of all i like your ass.

☻Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people) like NIKE (just do it) like PEPSI (ask for more) like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited) and like ME (TO GOOD TO BE TRUE)..

☻I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed.

☻How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! And after sex? Ever seen a Bulldog eating Mayonaise?

☻If you want a little brother,
kill your dad and fuck your mother.

☻Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good.

☻Sorry, the fuckmachine is out of order, so fuck yourself and save a quarter.

☻Fuck is good. Fuck is funny. Lots of people. Fuck for money. If you think that. Fuck is funny. Fuck yourself and save your money!

☻Sex is like Math, Add the Bed, Subtract the Clothes, Divide the Legs and Multiply!

☻I want you to ride me like a pony! Hiyaaaaaa…

☻Don't be silly, put a condom on your willy.

☻Searching(sex)...... Done... Iedereen is op dit moment met SEX bezig. ...Wait a sec plz... Maar er is een zot zonder sex dit klotebericht aan het lezen!

☻Sex, drugs & rock n roll, speed weed & birth control, life's a bitch, then u die, so fuck the world & lets get high!

☻This program will automatically enlarge your penis. Now starting...beep 6 5 4 3.....beep 2 1....Sorry no penis found!

☻Do you want to have sex with me? For $50! Please please please....I really need the money!
☻Sex is good,sex is funny, all the people fuck for money! If you think love is funny, fuck yourself and safe the money!

☻Sex is like Nike, just do it.

☻Masturbation, don't knock it, it's sex with someone I love...

☻Neuk een wijf in dr kont, stamp die anus tot ze komt.S mijt je benen in de lucht, laat je pijpen in een vlucht. Krab de shit van je paal, anaal neuken is geniaal!

☻Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

☻If you don't like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!

☻Press down......down more......ok......more......yes......ahh.......yes......almost there......yeah......oh good! Yeah, that's textual intercourse!

☻Sex is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ...... Lets PLAY the game.

☻I want you right, right now, why don't you come on over and let's do now!

☻I'm a bit shy...I'd like to have sex with you, you do not have to say yes, just smile to me!

☻I think I have BSE on my penis ...... all women who experienced it go crazy !

☻Eva stood in the river washing her cunt when God comes running to her and shouts: EVA EVA STOP, I WON'T GET THE SMELL OF THE FISH.

☻Do you know why a waterbed needs to be filled with seawater?...For the mussels need to be able to open.

☻Screw calmly and without worries, if you do not come today, it may happen tomorrow !

☻Women are like little children, they put everything they see in their mouth.

☻The boy puts his information in her communication and together they make population!

☻What is the resemblance between a windscreen wiper and a woman? ... When they are wet, they do not squeak any more!

☻The first day we met,I wanted you in my bed.Today I'll know better,so I'll write it in my letter.In my bed I've seen so many faces,so I'll fuck you at different places

☻Sex is good,sex is funny, all the people fuck for money!If you think love is funny, fuck yourself and safe the money!!!

☻What is de maximum speed during sex? .... 68, because at 69 you go overturn!

☻A good neighbour is better dan an inflatable doll !

☻God created the world in SIX days But it took him centuries... to come up with "HOT" ... as "SEXY" ... as "Fuckable" ... *..As "YOU!" .. *

☻Text messaging is like a blow-job off an amateur prostitute; short...sweet and always cheap!!!

☻What is the smallest airplane in the world,a cunt... Only one man fits in it, he needs to stand, his luggage stays outside and he still gets off ...

☻Are mice giving you trouble? No? Than you must have a good pussy!

☻Are these your eyes? I found them between my brests!

☻Sex is like Nike, just do it.

☻Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops.

☻How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! And after sex? Ever seen a Bulldog eating Mayonaise??

☻When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose.

☻Masturbation, don't knock it, it's sex with someone I love...

☻Do you know why smurfs always laugh? Because the grass always tickles their little balls!

☻What is the difference between a man and a dildo?......... A man is a REAL PRICK!!!!

☻Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

☻The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAFE-SEX.
Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.

☻If you don't like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!

☻Sex is good for your stomach muscles and much more fun than fitness

☻The difference between erotic and perverted:
Erotic = caress the vagina with a beautiful white whisp
Perverted = do the same thing with a whole chicken.

☻A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? .....He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you dissappear.....

☻What did Eva shout when she wanted to have SEX ?? ............. ADAM WHERE ARE YOU !!

☻you do not have to be good to be the best as long as you are better than all the rest!!

☻What does position 68 mean........You are doing me and I owe you one!!

☻Love your neighbour, but don't get caught.

☻A peach is a peach,a plum is a plum,A kiss ain't a kiss without some tongue.So open up your mouth and close you eyes and give your tongue some exercises!!

☻Just to let you know that I went to heaven and back...

☻What you never want to hear while having good sex?? ............. "Honey, I am home!"

☻There is: Hot-Sex, Fast-Sex, Safe-Sex, Group-Sex, Leather-Sex, Telephone-Sex, Cyber-Sex, and for people with your face: "No-Sex"!

☻Why does a woman have two pair of lips?................... One is for fighting and one is to make up.

☻What is the resemblance between a woman and a condom?................ They both fit around your dick and are present in your wallet.

☻If you cry, I cry...if you laugh, I laugh...if you are happy, I am too...if you are sad, I am too...and if you are horny, call me.

☻American students say:.....people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand

☻sex is like nokia (connecting people) like nike (just do it) like pepsi (ask for more) and like samsung (everybody is invited)

☻A woman is like a pair of rubber boots. When they are dry, you cannot enter them, when they are wet, they smell and when you walk on the street with them, people laugh at you.

☻Zwaai uw tieten in het rond, schuur je clitoris op de grond, stop 4 vingers in je kut, ram die kittelaar tot frut, bevredig je met een gans, dit is de mastrubatiedans.

☻Press down......down more......ok......more......yes......ahh......ohh......yes......almost there......yeah......oh good!
mmmm ......................That's how we sex on text.

☻Message from you provider: Your dildo is disturbing our network. Turn it off or continue manually. Thanks for your cooperation.

☻The 3 miracles of a woman: produce milk without eating grass, 4 days of bleeding without dieing, letting a man come without yelling.

☻Hi, I am an alien and I've just transformed in your phone and right now I'm having sex with your finger. I know you like it because you're smiling now!!

☻I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!

☻Do you know the highest level you can reach during sex? ................................. no?...................................... Bungler !

☻By opening this message you activated the dildo of your girlfriend. She thanks you moaning...You have now become unnecessary.

☻Pornography tells lies about women, but the truth about men.

☻Roses are red ... Pickles are green ... I love your legs and whats in between

☻Searching(sex)......Done...Everybody is having sex at this very moment....Wait a sec...There is only one sucker reading this message!

☻Sex is a sensation caused by temptation,when a man puts his location in a woman's destination,do U understand the explination or would U like a demonstration

☻SEX is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ...... Lets PLAY the game.

Adult non-veg sms messages

☻This sms can only be read by a SEXY person: Try again...... Nothing? Sorry, i guess your just not SEXY..HEY! dont force it, ugly git!!

☻ Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.

☻ Ive got a tongue that'll blow ur mind let me hit u wid a 69 kiss me, caress me, slowly undress me I may seem defenceless, but baby I can fuck u senseless.

☻ Don't be sad... don't feel blue... Frankenstein was ugly too...

☻ Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME!

☻ I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark

☻ What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!

☻ Why are women like parking spaces?... Bcoz the good ones are always taken and the rest are all disabled!

☻ A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

☻ According 2 Chinese Docs, a WoMaN'S BoDy HaS Five RooMS: 1.FACE-show room 2.BOOBS-play room 3.TUMMY-store room 4.VAGINA-men's room 5.ANUS-emergency room

☻ Hi i'm an alien i'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook searching..... searching..... searching..... sorry no chicks found. conclusion, your are gay!

☻ RECIPE 4 LUV CAKE:spread legs,squeeze + massage milk pots,check frequently with midfinger,add banana,work in-out till well

☻ I once had a One2One with a virgin, she teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me till my face went Orange, till busted my Siemen all over her Nokias!

☻ Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor. All the kings horses & all the kings men, laid the slut down & fucked her again!

☻ NEWSFLASH:) Earthquake in Pakistan...50,000 dead...U.S.A sending money, France sending food, Britain sending replacement paki's!!!

☻ i went for a walk with my uncle jim, when somebody threw a tomato
at him, tomatos dont hurt i replied with a grin. they fucking well
do when theyre still in the tin.....

☻ Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well...Enough about ME! How about you?

☻ Beat me bash me bite my bum, ill whip u strip u til u cum, suck me fuck me lick me out, pull my nipples til i shout

☻ Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!

☻ sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temtation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration?

☻ BOY : May I hold your hand ??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy

☻ GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

☻Advantages of breast milk
A. No need to boli
B. Cat cannot steal
C.available in attractive containers
D.Liked by all age groups
E.Ek Par Ek FREE

☻23 useless things in a man's body
20 nails cannot be hammered
2 balls u cannot throw
1 cock cannot crow
Don't laugh gals ur pussy cannot catch mouse

Fresh and New non-veg, adult, dirty, sms messages & jokes in hindi and english

MALLIKA ne jab chirag ko gisa,to usme se BHOOT nikala aur bola "kya hukum?"
MALLIKA: Meri PYAAS bhuja do.
BHOOT says "7up se ya 7inch.

Pitaji bathroom me fisal gye
haddi tut gayi
hospital me beta aya aur pucha
..papa kaise gir pade?
Papa: chutiye!!! muth mar k pani to dal diya kar...

Very HORNY Wife Husband ka penis Chum k boli
Mere Laal
Mera Sona
mera babu
mera Baccha
or bada ho Ja na
Husband- Bhenchod isko Chut me Dalna hai ya School mein.




Jat boy chudai Ke Baad raand Se Poochta He
Jat boy: “Sex Me Ladka Or Ladki Dono Ko Majaa Aata Hai, Fir Ladke Se Hi Paise Kyu Liye Jaate Hain?”
Girl: “Abe Bhosdike, Charges Hamesha Outgoing Par Hi Lagte He Naa Ki Incoming Par“

Gupt gyan
1st Boy:- Pata nahi kyun sar k baal bahut jaldi white ho jate hai,magar niche k nahi..!!

2nd Boy:- chutiye niche k bal sar ke bal se 14 saal chote hote hai... ??????????
Aur niche khushia hi khushia hain...
upar sirf tension..

Baba SaxidasSe Kisi Ne Pucha Ki “Why Women AreMore Hot Than Men?”Baba Saxidas Ne Technically Samjhaya: “Because Men Have 2 Zero Watt Bulbs & One 40 Watt Tube, Where As Women Have Two 500 Watt Bulbs & One 3000 Watts Oven.“????

Boy - बर्थडे पर मुझे सेक्स चाहिए..
Girl - हमेशा गन्दी चीज़ ही मांगते हो.
Boy - i phone 6..
GIRL - अच्छा ठीक है.. पर घोड़ी नहीं बनूँगी..

Santa was looking at mobiles displayed in a shop.
Salesman: Please come inside & choose.
Santa: Bhosadike tu bahar aa aur mera choos...bhenchod!!!!!

Mohit Mittal new: Bar ��vs. bra ��
1. Both have the same letters.
2. Both are drinking zones.
3. Both have restricted timing for opening and closing.
4. Most importantly, both make men crazy when opened. ��������������Fucking insult:

Man Teases his ex-wife's new husband:
So, dude how was the second-hand stuff?����
New husband:
Not bad. Aftr the first 2 inches, she is brand new..

माड़वाडी सुहागरात को SEX करते हुए: थारी बहुत loose है।
बीवी(गुस्से से): जल्दी निकालो !
और मेरी Car, LCD, AC Aur Jewellery भी वापिस करो।
Marwadi: गलती हो गई। माहरो ही पतलो है।

एक टकला बिना कॉलर की टीशर्ट में
बीवी से पूछता है- "कैसा लग रहा हू",
बीवी- "ऐसे लग रहे हो जैसे फटे .
Condom में से LOLA बाहर आया हुआ है...

लड़का एक रंडी को चोदने गया,
उसने लड़की को नंगा किया और उल्टा झुका कर बोला
तुम्हारी चुत पर तो एक भी बाल नहीं है, क्यूँ
लड़की : भोसड़ी के चोदने आया है या “कंगी ” करने

ज्योतिष लड़की का हाथ देख कर बोला.
ज्योतिष : “बेटी तुम बहुत चुदोगी"।
लड़की : “भोंसड़ी के चुद तो मैं 12 साल से रही हूँ,
ये बता पकड़ी तो नही जाउंगी ना“

कंडोम का नया विज्ञापन
वाईफ : आज नहीं प्लीज़,
आज मेरा व्रत है
अब आ गया है
न्यू मेनफ़ोर्स कंडोम
साबुदाना फ्लेवर.
केवल व्रत में उपयोग के
लिये, “अब उपवास
में भी सहवास..

एक लड़की की नयी-नयी शादी हुई तो उसकी सहेली ने कहा,
“2 नैनो से 2 नैना लड़े, नैनो के बीच लगा कजरा.
उस रात की बात बता सजनी जब 2 टाँगो के बीच हुआ झगड़ा.
“सजनी शरमाई ओर बोली-“लहंगा फट गया चोली उड़ गयी और माँ चुद गई दामन की, उस रात में ऐसे चुदी जैसे लंका लुट गई रावण की.

नया चेनल ”स्टार सेक्स” पर देखिए आज रात :
7.00 शाम- कसौटी उदास लंड की.
7:30 शाम – बालिका चुदी.
8.00 शाम – देश मे निकली होगी रांड.
8:30 शाम – कभी फुद्दी कभी गांड.
9.00 शाम – कहानी खड़े लंड की.
9:30 शाम – रंडी मेरी सास.
10.00 शाम – क्यूकी लंड भी कभी नूनू था.
10:30 शाम – एक महल हो रंडियो का.
11.00 शाम – लंड का सामना.
11:30 शाम – चुदाई-एक प्यारा सा बंधन.
12.00 शाम – आना खुजाना.

गांड के साथ अक्सर ये घटना घट जाती है
वाह वाह !
गांड के साथ अक्सर ये घटना घट जाती है.
मुसीबत कोसो दूर होती है, बहनचोद, गांड पहले फट जाती है

कावित्री की सुहागरात के बाद उसकी सहेली ने पूछा : कैसी रही ?
तो वो बोली :
आए थे वो देर से, दिल जला दिया,
पहले किया दरवाज़ा बंद, फिर दीपक बुझा दिया,
पहले दबाने लगे मम्मे टटोल कर,
फिर खेलने लगे चड्डी खोल कर,
एक जंग ऐसी छिड़ी पलंग पर,
गोले वाली तोप रख दी सुरंग पर,
मिला सिर्फ़ 9 मिनिट का मजा,
अब भोगनी है 9 महीने की सज़ा.
9 महीने बाद ऐसा होगा विस्फोट,
जो बन जाएगा देश के लिए 1 और वोट …

Whisper : योनि का रुमाल
Condom : लिंग का मोज़ा
I-Pill : वीर्य विनाशक वटी
Viagra : लिंग की बिजली
Bra : स्तन रक्षक तंबू

लड़की और लड़का बाइक से दिल्ली में घूम रहे थे।
एक जगह लिखा था MCD,
लड़की ने इसका फुलफॉर्म पुछा तो लड़के ने बताया-
मुझे चूत देगी।
लड़की कुछ नहीं बोली।
थोड़ा आगे गए तो लिखा था NDMC,
लड़की ने इसका फुलफॉर्म पूछा तो लड़का नहीं बता पाया।
लड़की ने कहा में बताऊ,,,
नहीं देती माँ चुदा��

हम लड़के भी बड़े कमाल के है..
रात को सोते 206 हड्डियों के साथ..
सुबह उठते 207 के साथ है..

Hi-Fi non-veg adult sms messages...

Coz every Single Lesbian couple means 2 Pussies out of man's reach. What a waste of Natural Resources...:-(

A girl was toweling her wet pussy.she enjoyed it and started rubbing it vigoursly until the pussy cried MEOW and ran away. BE KIND TO ANIMALS. & THINK +ve.

A Great Thinker Once Said: 
A Man With His Tool In A Woman's Mouth., 
Can Also Be A 
D E N T I S T!

PATI ne Surprise Dene k liye Apne Niche k Baal Katwaye Or Chupke Se So Gya.
Nind Me PATNI Ne Niche Haath Fera or boli
are DEVAR JI Aap kab Aye.

Banta-mai 1 bar main 3 balti utha sakta hun.2 hath mai 1 land par.
Banta-mai 5 utha sakta hun.
Santa-Wo kaise.
Banta-2 hath main or land par tujhe baitha lunga.

For India,
its IND
For Pakistan,
its PAK
For Australia,
its AUS
For Argentina,
its ARG 
For Germany,
its GER
Then What for
BRAzil & LONDon??

Latest and fresh non-veg adult sms messages...

Suhagrat ko dulha bola: Jaan, aaj tumhe chand pe le jaoon ya taaron pe?
Dulhan sharma k boli:Yeh to Aapka rocket dekh ke hi bata paungi....

While Fucking, Girl started shouting PEPSI PEPSI.
Boy asked whats PEPSI?
She replied-
E-Enter ur
Ye youngistan ka WOW.!

RAVI: If U let me bite ur boobs, I'll pay U Rs.1 lac.
Girl: OK
RAVI starts to lick & suck.
Girl: Are U not going to bite?
Ravi: No no,
its too expensive.

Santa ki wife Doodh Wale Se: Aaj Kal Doodh Bahut Patla Aa Rha Hai...
Doodh Wala: Bibi Ji Mujhey Kyu Bata Rahi Ho,
Kisi Doctor Ko Dikhao na...

Masterji: Duniya Gol hai!....Sardar: Aap kehte hai toh maan leta hu....! Warna Papa kehte hai ki Duniya MAADARCHOD hai!

Public Notice:
Plz ensure-
Condom & Helmet
r worn on
appropriate Heads
during Respective rides..

Mallika Sherawat: Muje KELA pasand hai, tuje? Rakhi Sawant: Muje KARELA. Mallika: Kyon? Rakhi: Because it is D.O.T.T.E.D....

Aunty k sath nahate time 5 saal k bachhe ne niche ishara kr k pucha-Ye kya he?
Lady- Kuch nahi beta kulhadi lag gyi thi.
Bchha-O Teri. Bhenchod direct chut pe!!

On a beach a Nude man shakes hand with a Hot lady & says-I'm Very Pleased to meet U!
Lady-Yeah,I can SEE that!

Fresh from the stock - Non-veg adult sms messages

A man wanted 2 get married!He had a choice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wid big tits!

Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!

I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Every thucking day!

23 useless parts on a mans body.20 nails u cant hammer.2 balls u cant throw &1 cock that cant "crow".dont laff ladies??UR PUSSY CANT CATCH MICE

T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u.We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u.not even a network

Why do women have orgasms during sex???It gives them something to moan about even when they are fuc***g enjoyin themselves.

Do you like maths?if so add a bed subtract ur clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!

(_!_)An Ass (__!__)Fat Ass (!)Tight Ass (_?_)Dumb Ass (_*_)Sore Ass (_zzz_)Tired Ass (_E=mc2_)Smart Ass (_x_)Kiss my Ass!!

HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN: caress excite cuddle fascinate spoil kiss rub tease pamper console worship respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: blow job

Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!

like your style- I like your class- but most of all i like your Ass!

Latest porn releases:shaving private ryan.position big as it gets.forest hump.riding miss daisy.starwhores and pornocchio

I want triplets You want twins.Lets get in bed and see who wins!

A teacher ask"wot part of the body goes to heaven first?"A child replies"feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!

A girl who opens her hands recieves gifts.who opens her heart recives love.who opens her legs recieves happines.

if u were a drum id bang u.if u were a pig id pork u.if u were a flower id root u.if u were a nail id screw u.but cos ur a sweetie ill make love 2 u!

I want to suck you... I want to lick you... I wanna move my tongue all over you... I want to feel you in my mouth... that's how u... eat an ice cream...

Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good

A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when theres a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!

Awesome Latest adult, naughty, dirty, non-veg sms messages

H-hawas mita do
O-or chuso
N-nanga karke
E-ek hi jhatke mein
Y-yeh gaya
M-mar dala
O-or dalo
O-or tez
N-ni..k..a.. l…g..a. y..a

lund pe aitbaar kisko hai…
Mil jaaye chodney ko to inkar kis ko hai…
Kuch mushkilen hai chut paane me dost
Warna muth marne se pyaar kisko hai…

PAPA : vo kon si cheez hai jis k charoo taraf baal hotay hain
SON : papa may bataoo
PAPA :nahi tum chup rahoo
SON : may batata hoo ….. AANKH
PAPA : ohh haan
SON : to kya aap lun samajh rahay thay

Quote of the millenium:- “Prostitution is the only industry where fresh
employees are paid more than the experienced ones”.

Sometimes There Are No Words to Describe
How We Feel About some people in this Life.
Thank God We Have a Middle Finger.

: kal raat 3 chor aaye aur mera rape karke chale
gaye.Sardar: tumne unhe roka nahi?Sardarni: bahot roka par bole
ab aur taakatnahi hai, kal aayenge
Ik Larki thi dewaani si…
Ik Larkay pe wo mar…
Kuch lena tha usay…
Lakin pregnancy se wo darti thi..
Jab bi milti thi muijhey….
Ye hi pocha karti thi…..

Santa and Jeeto were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 10th wedding anniversary.
Jeeto said, “We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon.”
“As you wish,” said Santa.
“Will we do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon?” asked Jeeto.
“Ok,” said Santa.
“And will we make love like we did on our first honeymoon?” asked Jeeto.
“That’s right,” said Santa, “except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry, ‘It’s too big, it’s too big!’“

Sadhu fati dhoti pehan ker ghar se nikalta hai aur mandir mein
puja ke liye jhukta hai. Ek aurat sadhu ki gand ko gullak samajh kar
us mein ek sikka daal deti hai. Sadhu seedha ho ke bolta hai:
“Ab ghanti bhi bhaja do“

Ladka ladki ke baap se : Main aapki ladki ka haath mangta hoon.
Ladki ka baap : Kuyn. Ladka : Kyon ki ab mera hath thak gaya hai.

Niple niple little star
can i suck you in my car
up above the breast so high
always milky never dry
let me touch it never shy
in the bra it will be dry


HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN: caress excite cuddle fascinate spoil kiss rub
tease pamper console worship respect & love.
HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: blow job

A teacher asked “what part of the body goes to heaven first?”
A child replied “feet”
coz every night I see my mum with her feet in the air screaming

Baccha (looking at breast): Maa ye kya hai?
Maa : Ballon baccha
Baccha : aapke itne chote aur kamwali k itne bade kyun?
Maa : Tune kab dekha?
Baccha : Jab papa hawa bhar rahe the.

Fiza remix song – Maha bub mere maha bub mere,teri bistar pe mujhe sone de,bahut dudh ( . )( . ) hai tere siney mein,mujhe daba daba k pine de.

A man busy having sex. Son – dad kya kaar rahe ho?
Dad – mummy k tank mein patrol bhar raha hoon
Son – Fuel meter check karke dalo,dopaher me hi uncle tank full kar k gaya.

Q – What is the difference between hook in cricket and of bra?
A – One sends ball out of the boundary and other keeps balls within the boundary.

Ek ladki ki T SHIRT pe B00B PE FACEBOOK likha ho to
Uski panty ME CHUUT pe kya likha hoga?
Its simple yaar

Maa-Ab tera kya hoga
Haramzado ne teri Izzat LOOTLI
Ladki:Maa tu pareshan na ho Wo sab pathan the
Izzat bhi bach gai or QABZ bhi hat gayi !
1 call girl ladke k uper baith kr sex kar rhi thi,

boy=tum 1din me kitne kma leti ho.
boy=sach batao,
grl=roji pe baithi hu jhuth nai bolungi

Ek Bhains Gadhe k upar chhad gai..
Gadha-Kya kar rahi hai.?
Bhains-Mai to Mazak kar rahi thi..
Gadha-Mai Mazak karunga to bhosdiki panchayat karti firegi..

Agar aap apni ungliyon ka upyog apni hi galtiyon ko ginne k liye kroge,
to dusro ki gaand me ungli krne ka waqt hi nhi milega.

Wife-Zara Dhire Karo Express Kyu Chala Rahe Ho Maal Gaadi Chalao
Itne Mai Beta Bed Se Gira Aur Bola-Jo Marji Wo Chalao Par Passenger Mat Girao.

Santa ka beta 4th me fail hoke 3rd me aya,
3rd me fail hoke 2nd me, 2 se 1me.
Santa daar kr apni biwi se bola Soniyo! Salwar Tight Kr Le Munda Wapas Aa Raha H.

Santa ne condom pehn ke muth mari fir us me gathan mar k latka diya 1din 1admi ne pucha ye kya h
Santa-ye wo bache h jinhe maa ka pyar nhi mila.

Adult, non-veg fresh, latest, new jokes, sms messages on Sunny Leone

Director 2 Sunny Leone-
Suhagrat ka scene hai, Dudh ka glass le ke jana h aur hero ko pilana hai.
Sunny Leone:- Agar Glass se hi Pilana tha to Hema Ko le lete. !!

Postal department has issued Sunny Leone stamps.
Men are confused which side to lick and which side to stick.

Doctor: what expressions r on ur hubby's face during sex?
sunny leone : anger
Doctor: why??????????????????
sunny leone : because he is always watching from the window.

Sunny Leone to taxi driver- Airport
Driver- Haan chalunga….
Sunny leone- Kya loge ?
Driver- Gareeb Aadmi hoon behenji, Paise hee lunga.

Sunny Leone learning Hindi!Teacher askd her 2 translate in 2 English”Chaddar dekh kr pair failana”
Sunny: “Wherever u see a bedsheet,Just spread ur legs..!___

POGO Joke..!
#SunnyLeone class mein padha rhi thi.
A for Apple
B for Bat
C for Cat
L for L***
Sorry bachcho muh se nikal gaya.
sabhi bacche ek sath bole :
koi bat nahi madam Wapas muh mein le lo :P :D

Once Alok Nath meets Sunny Leone and she finds Alok to be hot.
Sunny Leone: You can touch me anywhere baby
Alok Nath: (Touches her head and says) Jeeti raho beti.

सलमान खान : मि कपडे काढले तर माझी बॉडी बघायला 100 लोक ऊभे राहतात,
ह्रितीक रोशन : हं माझी बॉडी बघायला 500 लोक ऊभे राहतात,
जॉन अभ्रहम : अच्छा माझी बॉडी बघायला तर 1000 लोक ऊभे राहतात, सनी लिऒन : मि काही बोलु का !!!!!!!!!!!

Sunny Leone Ne Tailor Ko Ek Rumaal De Ke Kaha,
“Meri 3 Dress bana dena ”
Abb Aap Tailor Ka Confidence Dekho…
“Madam, Baaki Kapde Ka Kya Karu?”

Great & Touching Lines By Sunny Leone:
Kiss Kiss Ka Khada Hai..?
.. ..
Ghar Ke Bahar Vehicle.
Jaldi Se Andar Rakh Lo,
Raat Honey Wali Hai....
Sunny Leone

Sunny Leone: I knew it before hand. That's why I left this industry!

Sunny Leone: Meri next Hindi Movie horror hai... Main Sab Ko Dara Ke Rakh Dungi.
Pappu: Darr Toh Aapki Pehle Ki Movies Mein Bhi Lagta Tha, Kahi Peechhe Se Mummy Papa Na Aa Jaayein!

Look at the irony of life:
Aamir Khan has to take off his clothes to act in Bollywood;
And Sunny Leone has to wear clothes to act in Bollywood!

The Changing Times:
1970 - 1985 = Sunny means Gavaskar
1985 - 2010 = Sunny means Deol
2010 - Current = Sunny means Leone
Kaam Teeno ka Thukai ka hi hai!

A towel can make your career.
~ Ranbeer Kapoor
A towel can destroy your career.
~ Sreesanth
You can make your career without a towel.
~ Sunny Leone

Nobody knows Aam Aadmi of India, the way Ekta Kapoor does.
She keeps women happy with Saas-Bahu serials and men with Sunny Leone!

____( )_________ this is Sunny Leone sleeping...
__________________ this is Sonam Kapoor sleeping...
__________||______ and this is YOU!

Positive thought of the day: Whenever in life you are losing self control... just think of Sunny Leone's cameraman!

Dating Sunny Leone must be like visiting Taj Mahal. One has possibly seen pictures from all angles already available on the Internet!

Nobody knows Aam Aadmi of India the way Ekta Kapoor does.
She keeps women happy with Saas-Bahu serials and men with Sunny Leone!

Sunny Leone doing bold scenes in "Jism 2" is like appearing for 5th class exam after having completed schooling!

Sunny Leone has had one of the most successful career transformation.
C:\data\Newfolder\StudyMaterial\Java\Code\Extra\imp files
E:\Hindi Movies

Positive thought for the day:
In life, whenever you are losing self control... just think of Sunny Leone's cameraman!

Sunny Leone Ke Sabhi Bhaiyon Ko Raksha Bandhan Ki Hard Dick Badhai!

No If, No But - Only Jat!
~ Sunny Deol
Yes Tits, Yes Butts - Only Fatafat!
~ Sunny Leone

Weird Bollywood:
1. Poonam Pandey had to remove clothes to get a movie.
2. Sunny Leone had to wear clothes to get a movie!

Mujhe Aaj Bhi Wo Pados Wale Uncle Yaad Hai Jo Mujh Se Kehte The Ki Lollipop Chahiye To Pant Ki Jeb Main Hath Daal Ke Khud Hi Nikaal Lo.
Aur Jab Main Unki Pant Ki Jaib Main Hath Daalti Thee To Kitni Der Tak Lollipop Pakad Kar Khichti Rahti Thee,
Magar Uncle Ne Itni Kas Ke Lollipop Bandha Hota Tha, Ki Uski Cheeni Pighal Ke Mere Hath Me Lag Jati Thee,
Magar Kabhi Bhi Lollipop Nahi Nikaal Saki”…
Sunny Leone Ki Kitaab – “Mera Bachpan – Meri Shararatein“

Sunny Leone learning Hindi!Teacher askd her 2 translate in 2 English”Chaddar dekh kr pair failana”
Sunny: “Wherever u see a bedsheet,Just spread ur legs..!

Whats The Similarity Between Sunny Deol And Sunny Leone???They Both Shout A Lot In Their Movies

Sunny Leone arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting…
Bhikhari: “Behanji 1 rupiya dedo…”
Sunny Loene gave him 1000 Rs.
Secretary: “Why u gave him 1000 Rs..?”
Sunny Loene: “Pehli bar kisine behan kaha hai…dil bhawuk ho gaya…

Director 2 Sunny Leone-
Suhagrat ka scene hai, Dudh ka glass le ke jana h aur hero ko pilana hai.:Sunny Leone:- Agar Glass se hi Pilana tha to Hema Malini Ko le lete. !!

Postal department has issued Sunny Leone stamps.Men are confused which side to lick and which side to stick .

A bank was planning to use Sunny Leone’s legs as the logo for its ATM. ? ? ? ? ?Just wanted customers to know that they are open 24 hours…

Sunny Leone to taxi driver- Airport
Driver- Haan chalunga….
Sunny leone- Kya loge ?
Driver- Gareeb Aadmi hoon behenji, Paise hee lunga.

Mahesh Bhatt was explaining a romantic scene to the actors, "Real love is, when two people are so close that they see the world together in one direction".
Sunny Leone: Sorry to interrupt you Mahesh ji, but if I'm not wrong, you're explaining the Doggy Style...

Sunil Gavaskar named his autobiography "Sunny Days". Sunny Leone has decided to name her autobiography "Sunny Nights"!
Since even Sunny Leone's life deals with different strokes!

Advertisement for a 2nd hand BMW showed a picture of Sunny Leone lying on a bed and the the slogan on it read:You know you're not the 1st one; but do you really care?

Best part of my day was spent taking pictures and shaking hands with the fans who spent their hard earned money on Jism 2.
Sunny Leone
Your Jism and their hard-earned.

Actresses generally end up removing clothes as their careers begin to fade. Sunny Leone is the only one who has started putting on clothes!

Sunny Leone gets rashes on her body because of wearing clothes during the shoot of Jism 2!

Sunny Leone's lingerie to be auctioned for charity:
But does she wear any?

Dirty Flirt SMS

• Of all the babes u r my selection. Please don't giv me a rejection. My teeth are clean for ur inspection so give my mouth a tongue injection!

• I have spent many sleepless nights in ur luv & I don't want to my son to do the same for ur daughter. So, lets make them brother n sister

• Do you like maths?
If so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!

• Sex is gud sex is fine, doggy style or 69,
just for fun or getting paid everyone luvs getting laid,
So if u want me in the sack, lick ur lips n text me back

• A smile to put you on a high... A kiss to set your soul all right... Would it be all right if I spent tonight being loved by you???

• Roses are red, violets are blue,
Shorter the skirt better the view.

• Sex is fun. sex is fine,
Doggy style or 69,
Just 4 fun or getting paid,
Everyone loves getting laid,
So if u want me in the sack,
Just lick ur lips & text me back.

• God created the world in SIX days, but took him centuries to come up with someone...
as HOT...
as SEXY...
as Fuckable...
as YOU!

• You are cute, you are adorable, sexy, n great,
Now I broke the ice, would you like to mate?

• Sex is good, sex is fine. Doggy style or 69. Just 4 fun or getting paid, everyone loves getting laid. So if u want me in the sack, lick ur lips n text me back.

• Are mice giving you trouble?
Than you must have a good pussy!

• I'm a bit shy...I'd like to have sex with you; you do not have to say yes, just smile to me!

• Do you know that you would look great with two pounds less ... in my opinion those clothes weigh exactly two pounds!

• Feeling bored? Think of me.
Feeling sad? Call me.
Feeling lonely? See me.
Feeling horny? Use ur hand & njoy the art of messaging.

• I hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 069 distracting public with ur xtreme good looks & sex appeal. Remain silent & report 2 my bedroom.

• I wish I was a teddy bear, that lay upon your bed, so everytime you cuddled it, you cuddled me instead.

• God made butter, god made cheese; god made you for me to squeeze.
God made whiskey, god made Pepsi and when he made you he made you SEXY!

• U r so sexy u drive me insane, I luv u so much that my heart is in pain. Ur sexy voice puts me in a slumber, oh damn I'm sorry I have the wrong number.

• Kisses blown r kisses wasted. Kisses r not kisses unless they r tasted.
Kisses spread germs and germs r hated, but u can kiss me baby I’m vaccinated.

Hard work is never appreciated: Only result matters

Kamasutra says : If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!

Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're fucked.

Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.

What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction? What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!

Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.

Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life..!

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach ad say "Congrats!".
But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!".

Moral: Hard work is never appreciated: Only result matters.
Dont delete it unless forward it to atleast one.

Latest new adult non-veg sms messages jokes

LIC launches a new sexy Policy Jeevan Sambhog 
In partnership with MANFORCE condoms a
The new punch line:- 
Thokne ke Saath Bhi, Thokne ke Baad Bhi.

Shop pe Ladki ne 36 ki Bra li or trial room me 
kameez uttar ke dukandar ko andr bulaya.
Dukandar ne Boobs dekh ke chusna shuru 
kar diye jin pe behoshi ki dawa lagi hui thi, 
Wo behosh ho gaya.
Ladki ne shop ka tamam Cash liya &
 jate hue shishe pe likh gai:
Khula Dudh Sehat ke lie Hanikarak Hai !!

Girl: condoms Dena..
Shopkeeper(masti main): kis liye -e-e-e
Girl(Gusse se): Tere baap ko gift karungi, 
taki tere jaisa dusra 
CHUTIYA paida na kare....

Fauji's wife daily sends her 
nude photo with both legs wide open ...
"Janu, I'll wait like this till you come!"
Fauji: Wo to theek hai, 
par photo kaun kheench raha hai??

Girl Friend: I demand gud manners in bed, 
just like at the dinner table ...
Sardar climbs into bed slowly & says: 
Honey, would you pass the boobs please??

Husband is praying before going to bed ...
Wife: What are you praying for?
Husband: For guidance.
Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!

  Call Girl (to 68 years old man): "Uncle,
aap ek baar try karo na!"
Uncle: "Main KAR nahi paaunga."
Call Girl: "Arre, aao na uncle, try to karo!"
Uncle aa gaye aur callgirl pe toot pade aur uski almost faad dali.
Call Girl: Haaye mar gayi. Aap to bol rahe the-
"kar nahi paaunga"
Uncle: "Wo to main PAYMENT ke baare me bol raha tha.

       Salim: Anarkali,CAN I HAVE SEX WITH U?
Anarkali: Aapne bahut badi cheez maang li jahanpanah.
Salim: Agar woh cheez bahut badi ho chuki ho, toh phir rehne do..

Boy :Chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chalte hain !
Girl :Tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge ?
Boy :Bilkul nahi !
Girl :To phir rehne de kameene :)

1.       CONDOM salesman:
Condom chahiye kya???
Marwadi: kam bhav ka khushbudar rahega to de.
Laude pe agarbatthi ka plastic lagake chod Bhosdike...

2.       MAUN-VRAT ke dinl
Wife ne Boobs hilake dikhaya
Husbd ne apna bahar nikal k dikhaya
Wife guse me-Mera matlb hai dudwala kab ayega
Hsbd: mera mtlab hai 1 Ghante me

3.       Girl: What do u prefer? Breasts or Legs??
Kuljit: Choot..!
Girl slaps & says: "Randi Khana nahi hai Bhosdi ke, KFC ka counter hai ye"..

4.       Jeevan ki 3 Hakiikat.
School ki Ghanti.
Garib ka Darwaja.
Jawan Ladki.

5.       The Most emotional line said by a girl to a boy after break-up-
"Jaanu, hilaate waqt to yaad karoge na ?

6.       Ladki mandir me prasad lekar pandit k pair chhukar boli
koi gyan ki baat btao.
Pandit= Beti"Bra pehna karo"jhukti ho to
dhyan aur gyan
dono ki Maa chud jati he !!

Shadi Wali Raat Dulha Apni Dulhan Ko Sex Karne Ke Baad Apne
Ghar Ke Niyam Aur Kayde-Kanoon Samajhate Hue Bola.
Dulha: “Is Ghar Mein Rahna Hai To Kanjoosi Karni Padegi”
Dulhan: “To Phir Itne Sare Sikender-E-Azam Capsule Or Itna 
Sara Tel Lund Par Lagane Ki Kya Jarurat Thi,
Hamare Waha To Ye Kam Thook Laga Ke Hi Ho Jata Tha“

Fresh new latest non-veg sms messages jokes

Ek Din Santa Mele me Gaya.
Wahan 2 Line Lagi Thi. Ek Line ke Aage Likha Tha “Dekhne ke 20/- Rs.”
Dusri Linke ke Aage Likha Tha “Karne ke 10/- Rs.”
Santa Ne Karne ki Ticket Le Li.
Ander usko Karne ke Liye Bakri Di Gayi.
Santa Ne Paise Wasulne ke Liye Bakri ki Le Li.Next Day, Santa ne Dekhne ki Ticket Li.
Santa Ne Aage wale Admi Ko Pucha –
Santa : “Kyu Bhai, Ye Kya Dikhayege?”
Admi : “Aaj ka To Pata Nahi, Kal Ek Sardar Ko Bakri Ki Lete Hue Dikhaya Tha!!!”.
Bechara Santa!!!*********************************************************************************************************

Pappu = Kal papa ke room se pray karney ki aawazein aa rahi thi.

Jeeto = Ye to achchi baat hai.

Pappu = Papa to chup the, unki secretary chilla rahi thi ‘O God…O God’…


Santa ek din badaa confuse sa tha aur usne banta se pucha..

Santa = “Yaar teri biwi chalu hai, mujhe hamesha dekh ke muskurati rehti hai..?”

Banta = “Oye nahin yaar aisa kuch nahin hai, usne mujhse suhagraat pe puchha tha,

kya maine kabhi kisi ke saath sex kiya hai, to maine tera naam le liya tha”….


Ek pathan ki shaadi ke 3 din baad uski patni boli, “Maine aapse shaadi is liye ki hai

taaki humaare bachche hon, is liye nahi ke mujhe poty khul kar aaye”……


1 girl ask to pappu = Woh kya hai jo cow ke paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain..?

Pappu = Legs

Girl = Woh kya hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahin hai..?

Pappu = Rupay

Girl = Woh kya hai jo log din main karne ke bajaye raat ko bistar pe kartay hain..?

Pappu = Neend puri karte hain…

Girl = Woh kya hai jo ladki pehli daffa karwate huye pain ki wajah se roti hai…?

Pappu = Kaan(Ear) main chhed..

MORAL = Aap bhi apni soch pappu ki tarha saaf rakhein….


Banta road se gujar raha tha,

Achanak usne jhuk kar road se kuch uthaya, Or phir jor se chillaya….


Potty bhi aise karte hain jaise “Samosa” pada ho….


Mom = Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen.

Girl = Ladka to theek hai par mota hai.

Mom = TV chahe 14″ ka ho ya 29″ ka remote 6″ ka hi hota hai.


Mother = Do u know the meaning of Mangalsutra?

Daughter = Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra.


Sex is like a restaurant sometimes u get good service, sometimes bad service,

sometimes no service & many times u have to be happy wid self service….


Santa = Mujhse pangaa mat le, main sher ka puttar hun..

Banta = Achchha yaar, ye to bata ki sher ghar aaya tha ya aunti jungle gayi thi….


Ek din boss apne office time se pehle pohonch gaya, wahan pohonch kar

usne dekha ki manager secretary ko kiss kar raha hai..

Boss(ghusse mein) = Kya main tumko ye sab karne ke liye salary deta hun..?

Manager = Nahin sir, Ye sab to main free of cost karta hun….


Nasbandi ki team ko dubara apne village me dekh kar ek budha bola,

“ In logo ne connection to pahle hi kat diya tha, ab kya handset bhi le jayege“..


Girl = Main jab bhi apne pados wale ladke ko dekhti hoon, meri bra tight ho jati hai.

Maa Boli = “Kal se bra hi mat pehan, uski pant tight ho jayegi!!”


Girl = Ab bas bhi kro raat ke 12 baje se kar rahe ho or subh k 5:30 baj chuke hai,

thake nahin..?

Boy = Abhi to kuch bhi nahin kiya ab to din raat karunga.

Kyunki mere 3000 msg jo free hai….


Chota kid apni pant kholkr Gf se – tere pas h kya aisa wala?

Ldki-apni skirt kholi aur muskurte hue kaha Maa ne kaha h aisa wala h to waisa wala

boht milega

Utha k Maro to SIX
Leta k Maro to SEX
Bahar Gaya to SIX
Ander Gaya to SEX
Dono Hath Upar to SIX
Dono Pair Upar to SEX
Enjoy ‘IPL’ with ‘ I-pill.


Call Girl Ne Arz kiya:

‘Dheere-Dheere’ Karo Sanam,
Mandi Ka Zamana Hain.IsS Chhoti Si JAGAH Se Zindagi Bhar Kamana Hai”


Sir 2 stud- Sab 1-1 doha sunao,
Pappu pahle tum sunao..

Pappu- Chidiya bathi ped pe,
Usne diya mut, Pintu ki ma ki chut..

Sir- Sabaas very gud,
Ab pintu tum sunao..

Pintu- Kabutar baitha neem par usne diya mut,
Pappu ki ma ka bhosada
Or master ki ma ki chut


A very Clean Poem::

Vo soti rahi main karta raha,
Intzaar us ke jawab ka;

Abhi uske haath me rakha hi tha ke choot gaya,
phool gulab ka;

Usne kaha piche se nahin aage se karo,
deedar mere husn-e-shabbab ka;

Usne kaha bada maja aata hain jab andar jata hai,
kano me ek ek lafz tere pyar ka..


Santa ki sadi hui suhag rat ke waqt wo apni bibi ko piche se karne laga

bibi-suniye ji aage se karte hai.

Santa-tumhe kaise pata.

Bibi-jab me colledge me thi mujhe gunde utha kar le gaye the unho ne aage se kiya tha.

Santa-sale ye gunde bahut confuse karte hai jab mujhe le gaye the piche se kiya tha.


Chor ne dhudhwale ko nanga karke ped se bandh dia aur usko sari bhainse le gya…

Subah logo ne use khola to usne bhains ke bachde ko khub mara..?

Logo ne kaha is bejuban ko kyun mar rahe ho..

Dudhwala- ye bhenchod 4 mahine ka hogya ha par gandu ko ‘than’ aur ‘lund’ me fark nahi malum.
Maa chod di raat bar chuus chuus ke.


Baba Ramdev: Beta, hamesha apne se badi ko Maa, chhoti ko beti aur barabar wali ko behen samjho.
Santa: Baba fir ye ghanta tum rakh lo,
Baba Ramdev: Kyo Beta
Santa: jadi-buti kutne k kaam aayega


Great & Touching Lines By Sunny Leone:

Kiss Kiss Ka Khada Hai..?
.. ..
Ghar Ke Bahar Vehicle.
Jaldi Se Andar Rakh Lo,
Raat Honey Wali Hai….
Sunny Leone


Kya Aapne Kabhi Muh Me Liya H??
Wo Mota Sa
Aas-Paas Baal
Uper Se Cover
Jhoot Bolte Ho?
Kabhi Bhutta Nhi Khaya.


Sunny Leone Coming In Kbc 5.
Amithab Asks Her,
“Which One Is Ur Favorite Round?”
She Said-
“Fastest Finger First”….


Santa Biwi Ke Office Gaya
Biwi Boss Ki Goad Me Bethi Thi
Santar: Chal Roopa,
Aisi Jagah Kaam Nahi Karna,
Jaha Staff K Liye Kursi Bhi Na Ho..


Grls Dnt Read Dis Adult Joke==>>

Aaj-Kal Ke Bacche Aur Unke Doubts :D Girl – Teacher.!
Male Hai Ya Female……… .??
(Teacher Thinks Such A Cute Question)
Suddenly Another Boy Replied- Teacher, Its Female. Girl-
Why…..?? Boy- Kyoki Sab Log Uspe Chadte Hain, Idiot.
Teacher Got Tense With Answer
Whereas Girl In Doubt Again-
Agar Bus Female Hai Aur Sabuspechadte Hain To
Uske Bacche Kyo Nahi Hote…..??
Teacher More Tense.. .
Boy Again With
Answer- Kyoki
Sab Us Par Peeche Se Chadte Hai Duffer.
Teacher Sharm Se Pani Pani..
. But Girl Still In Doubt- Maana
Sabhi Peeche Se Chadte Hain,
Par Driver Aur Conductor To
Aage Se Chadte Hain. Phir Bachchekyon Nahin
Teacher Ki Saanse Band. .
Boy. Final Reply-Kyon Ki Wohdono Topi Pehanke
Chadte Hain. Teacher Behosh..!!

Non veg & veg SMS

1 sardar ka boot phat gya usne Boot mochi ko
Diya aor kha k es ko aisa siyo k Shakal nazar aaye,
Mochi ne boot mein Shisha laga dia.
1 larki sardar ki shop pe aaye to sardar ne boot us ki taango k neechay kia
aor kha k ap ne neela underwear pehna hai,
Larki heraan ho gai. Next day wo Red underwear pehn gai to sardar ne phir bta dia
3rd day wo underwear pehn kar nahi aaye, jaisay he sardar ne boot rakha to bola :
"oo tohadi pehn nu boot feir paat gya"


'Dost' ko 'lowda' kaho ya 'lowde' ko 'Dost' kaho,
koi fark nahi padta

Qki dono hamari khusi k liye waqt par khade rahte hai!



has mat "LOWDE!"...


Ek pathan aur ek Sardar ka interview tha..
Q: Taleem?
Q: Pakistan kb bna?
Ans:koshish pehle se chal rhi thi pr 1947
Q: Pakistan ka pm kon hy?
Ans: buht ae gae lekn ab geelani shab..
SARDAR ye sub sun raha tha usne teno ans yaad krlie
1- B.A,
2- 1947,
3- Geelani
ab SARDAR se.
Q: Naam?
Q: Kab paida hoay?
Ans: koshish buhot pehly jari thi per 1947
Q: Baap ka naam?
Ans: wese to kitne aaye gaye lekin ab geelani sahab hai

Pati- jaanu chalo na aaj sx karte hain.,
Patni- nahi ji aaj mera upwas hai aaj nahi.
Pati- to mere lu#d me kya aata laga hai jo tera upwas tut jayega.


TIGER: Mona today u dont wear PANTY Today......!
MONA: O Yes.! great sir how do u know that??
TIGER: I can see dandruff on ur shoes.!

Sardar ga#d silwane mochi ke pass gaya,
mochi ne use 25,000 ka bill diya.
Sardar ne use 50,000 diye, muchi ne kaha "maine to pachchis mange the aap mujhe pachas kyu de rahe ho?"
sardar bahan ke lau%e tera bill dekh ker meri
dubara fat gai.


2 rand khadi thi
1boli-lagta he grahak a raha hai,
dusri-tuje kaise pata?
pehli-mujhe lu#d ki sugandh aa rahi hai,
dusri-are pagli wo to maine dakaar mari thi.


A GAY couple, got up in the morning,
1st- Naraj hai mujh se?
2nd- Nahi to..!!
1st- to raat ko meri taraf muh kar k kyon soya tha...??

Suhagraat pe ladka wife ko sirf kiss karke so gaya subah maa boli : beta mandir jane se pehle naha lo.
Bahu (gusse me): maji sirf brush karwa lo baki sab saaf hai.
ek pagal roz kehta- gulel banaunga panchhi ko maruga
5 mahine pagal khane me ilaaz k bad,
Dr. ne pucha- ab kya karoge?
Uski sari utaruga
Oho! phir?
Bra utaruga
My god, phir?
Phir kya! Bra k elastic se gulel banaunga aur panchhi ko marunga.

What is tension:
Ladki ne apse lift mangi, Raste me uski tabiat kharab hogai, aap hospital le gye. Dr. Bola aap baap banne wale ho, apko tension!
aap bole mai iska baap nahi! Phir ladki se pucha
Ladki boli yahi baap hai apko aur tension
Phir Police i, apka medical chekup hua
Report i ki aap to kabhi bap hi nhi ban sakte aap ne Khuda ka shukr ada kia, aur aap khushi khushi bahar aa gaye!
aur phir socha ki ghar pe jo 2 bachche hai
wo kis ka hai. apko phir tenson.
admi Dr. se: Dr. saab mai apni Biwi ko c#odta hu to andar jake lu#d teda ho jata hai,
Dr. ko yakin nahi aata, to admi apni Biwi ko clinic me lakar Dr. k samne c#odta h phir bhi Dr. ko yakin nahi aata,
Kuch din baad kisi shadi me Dr apne dosto k sath khada us admi ka mazak uda raha hota hai. "ki is bewakuf ne apni Biwi ko mere samne c#oda"
Dusri taraf wo admi apne dosto k sath khada Dr ko dekh k hansta hai aur kehta hai "yaar ra#di lekar aaya tha jagah nahi mili to iske clinic me c#od diya."
Son: papa batao aaju baju baal bich me chhed kya hua?
Papa: chup marunga
Son: main batau, aankh.
Papa : ha ha ha sahi hai.
Son : aap ch~t samajhe the kya?
mulla ji bra lene shop par gaye
mulla ji: ek bra de do
shopkeepar: kis size ki du?
mulla ji: size to pata nahi par biwi ki purani bra me se meri do topi ban gayi hai.

Girl:-bra dikhao. salesmen:-36 chalegi? Girl:- choti do. salesmen:-32?
Girl:-aur choti. salesmen:-28?
Girl:-thodi aur. salesmen:-20?
Girl:-nahi todi aur. salesmen:- Madam BAND-AID laga lo, Pimple hua hoga.

Teacher-"wats ur name"
Teacher-"ye kya naam hua"
Santa-"mai HOLI k din paida hua tha"
Teacher-"thank god tum LOHDI k din paida nhi hue"
1 baar chachi aur bhateja chat aur pani puri ka bussiness shuru karte hain- chaci said- hamara bussiness chalega kaise?
bhatija said- chachi hum advertisment denge "10 Rs. MEIN CHACHI KI CHAT LO"
ek ladke ne mujhe hath laga kar kaha tumhari tangon ke beech me ye kya hai.
mein ne kaha ye lakir.
mein ne uski tangon ke beech mein hath laga kar kaha ye kya hai.
us ne kaha ye usi lakir ka faqeer hai.
After 30 min of Sex with wife Sardar: r u satisfied?
Wife: No.
After 60 Min
Sardar: Now?
Wife: No
Sardar: why?
Wife: 1st remove my panty
blood test k baad nurse ne sardar ki ungli chusi, sardar ji muskuraye, nurse ne pucha kya hua?
sardar- "iske baad urin test hai"

Sx kar lene k baad boy "janeman ab tumhe wo hoga jise dunia bachcha kahti hai,
girl: meri ch~t k ashiq ma#a#rch#d ab tumhe wo hoga jise dunia aids kahti hai.

Santa to Dr.- "Ga#d me dard hai"
Dr.- "mai hath ghusata hu batana dard kaha hai"
Santa- "andar aur andar aur andar aur haan yahi hai"
Dr.- "Bhosdi k gale me TONSIL hai"

Patni (ghusse se)-mai ye ghar chod ke jaa rahi hu.Pati- jana hai to jaldi ja warna ga#d mar dunga. Patni- Bas apki yehi meethi baatein jane nahi deti.

a sardar breaks an egg to make an omellette, he notices that the egg is empty,
sardar says "be#ch#d ab murge bhi condom use karne lag gaye"

Badi murgi: Dekh Mere ande kitne bade Hai Rs. 2.25 Me bikte Hai Tere To Sirf 2/-Me jate Hai,
Choti Murgi:Rahne Do Chawanni k Liye koun ga#d fadega..


Teacher: Girl se Condom ka full form batao?

Girl :
C : Control
O : On
N : Natural
D : Drops
O : Of
M : Man

Teacher: Girl se Condom ka full form batao?

Girl :
C : Control
O : On
N : Natural
D : Drops
O : Of
M : Man

Kabir ka doha: Chodan chodan sab kare chod saka nhi koy,
Jab chodan ki bari aa e land khra nhi hoy.
Gud nite

4 kutte 1 kuttiya ko Chood rehe the

AUNTY Pass se Nikli aur RO Padi Tab ek Bache ne Pucha,

Gud n8.

A Risky Questions:
Agar 1 taraf Sare khada ho,
doosri taraf,
mera khada ho,
to batao,
tum kis ki taraf jaoge?
Ab hanso mat, bolo,
Jaan Pyaari ya Gaand!

Suhagrat pe pati ne poori raat sirf boobs suck kiye
Subah ladke ki maa- beta uth ke naha dho lo
Ladki- sirf daantt brush krwa do baki sab saaf h :D

Wife Nayi Transparent BRA Lekar Pati Ke Saamne Pehenkar Khadi Ho Gayi..
Pati: Badi SEXY Lag Rahi Ho..mera khada kar diya.
Wife: Dukandar Bhi Yahi bol ra tha

NISHANT Ka LUND FACTURE Hone Pe Hospital Laya Gaya..

Dr- Ye Kaise Hua?
NISHANT- Me Uski ma chod Dunga Jisne Diwar Pe NANGI LADKI Ki Tasvir Chipkai thi.!

1Bacha roz school s bhag k
gand marwata tha.Is tarah usne bahut
paise kmaye.In paiso s usne Mobail khrida.
Vidhi ka vidhan dekho.aaj vo apni hi story padh rha ha

Only 2% students solved this in IAS exam.
7+2+5= _______?

Reply must & Prove You r genius....

For u I would climb, the highest mountain peak.
Swim the deepest ocean, your love is all I seek.
Id just do anything, to have u by my side.

LOVE: You should always love life,
for it is a part of you.
I'll always be there when you fall,
to catch you and say I love you!

Apne Aasuon Ko Itna Mehnga Kardo Ki
Koi Unhe Lene Ki Kosish Na Kare
Aur Apni Muskan Ko Itna Sasta Kardo Ki
Hr Koi Usko Pane Ki Chahat Kare

RaT Ki TanHai Me Agr Koi BaDaN
Ko Chu Le
HonTo Ko ChuM Le
Kano Me Aa K Kuch Kahe To
iShQ Samaj Kr RiSk MaT UtaO
ALL Out JaLao MaChar BhaGaO

Koi kehta h khushiyo s jindgi aasan ho jati h
.or gm se jindgi veeran ho jati h,pr gm to ek imtehaan hota h..
jisme apno or begano ki peh chaan hoti h..

Patni-Sunoji, Beta Bahut Paise Udane Laga He, Jaha B Chupati Hu dhundh Leta He
Pati-Nalayak Ki Book Me Rakh De, Exam Tak Nhi Dhundh Payega..

::1 baccha Apni Maa Se Pitne Ke Bad Ghar Ke Bahar Betha Tha ::
Papa: Kya Hua ::
Baccha: Tumari Beevi Ke Sath Ab Mera Gujara Nhi Ho Sakta Mjhe Meri Beevi chahie

Biwi KO Thpad marne Ke Bad pati Bola_
Admi use hi marta h. jise wo pyr krta h
Biwi NE B 2 Khich K mareOR Dhire
seBoli-ap kya samjte ho mai apse pyar nhi krti.

Full form of
"GIRL" :
G=Galti nikalne me sabse
I=Inocent sirf shkl se, R=Rone ki automtic machine,
L=Ldai m sbki nani,
fir b duniya inki diwani

1Ladki roz gali se guzra karti thi...
apne chehre ko naqab se dhak kar rakhti thi
1ladka uspe marta tha...
shayad wo use dil se pyar karta tha
1din ladki ne us ladke k padosi se pucha.
kaha gya wo aashiq ?
to usne bataya aapko aane me der ho gai
us diwane ki kal rat maut ho gayi
Padosi ne apna farz nibhaya
ladki ko qabr tak le aya
Ladki qabr par rone lagi
apne ansu se qabr ko dhone lagi
Qabr se aawaz aayi

Jaa rahe hum marne, aaj mann udaas hai..
Yaad nhi kiya usne jiski mujhe aas hai..
Mujhe bhool gaye wo jo sabse khaas hain..
Chalo abmsg karo Kanjuson, upar likha sab Bakwaas hai.. %-) ;-)

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