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Showing posts from January, 2016

If world's leading companies manufactured condoms

Nokia Condoms – Connecting People
Mrf Condoms – Extra Rubber Extra Mileage
Moov Condoms – Aah Se Ahaa Tak
Dunlop Condoms – Extra Wide Extra Grip
Mirinda Condoms – Zor Ka Jhatka Dhere Se Laghe
Air India Condom – The Maharaja Condom
Panama Condoms – Nothing Between You And Me
Duracell Condoms – Longer Lasting
Gadgil Condoms – Environment Friendly
Hero Honda Condom – Fill It, Shut It, Forget It
Mrf Zigma Condoms – Space Age Condoms
Lux Condoms – Filmi Sitaron Ki Pasand
Kelvinator Condom – Its The Coolest One
Bajaj Condoms – Buland Bharat Ki Buland Tasveer
Four Square Condom – Live Life King Size
Videocon Condoms – Bring Home The Leader
Philps Condoms – Lets Make Things Better
Onida Condoms – Neighbours Envy, Owners Pride
Pepsi Condoms – Yehi Hai Right Choice Baby ….Aaaha
Thums Up Condoms – Taste The Thunder
Coca-Cola Condoms – Eat Condom, Sleep Condom Wear Only Coca-Cola Condoms
Ariel Condoms – Dhundate Reh Jaaoge
Rotomac Condoms – Sab Kuch Dikhta Hai
Wills Condoms – Made For Each Other
Servo Condoms – Use Ser…

Terms And Conditions Of A Call Girl

Terms And Conditions Written In Booking Receipt Of A Call Girl.

1: Choot Ki Gehrai Ko Ungli Se Naapna Sakht Mana Hai.

2: Hamare Yahan Chodne Ke Liye Imported Condoms Diye Jate Hai Par Istemaal Se Pehle Paani Daal Ke Ya Munh Se Fula Ke Check Jaroor Karein.

3: Lund Ko Sahi Jagah Pe Daalna Hai, Gaand Ya Munh Mein Daalne Ke Alag Charges Lagenge.

4: Nipples Ko Daat Se Kaatne Par Sakht Karyawahi Ki Jaayegi.

5: Lund Bada Ho Ya Chhota Rate Ek Hi Rahega.

6: Chudayi Tail Laga Ke Kare, Thook Se Nahi.

7: Virya Nikalne Ke Baad Khel Khatam, Kisi Bhi Tarah Ki Madarchodi Nahi Sahi Jaayegi.

8: Choot Mein Lund Jhaada To Gaand Phad Di Jaayegi.

Jab Sajan Ne Kholi Angiya – Gusse Me

सखी ऐसी बात हुई मुझसे, कि साजन मुझसे रूठ गया,
बहुत देर तक न माना तो, मेरा सब्र का बाँध भी टूट गया.
मैं साजन के संग जा लेटी, वह करवट बदल के लेट गया
उस रात की बात न पूँछ सखी, जब साजन ने खोली अंगिया.


साजन के बालों में हाथ फिरा, गर्दन और पीठ को चूम लिया
साजन के पेट नितम्बों पर, उंगली फिरा फिरा गुदगुदी किया
गाल चूम लेने की कोशिश पर, साजन ने गर्दन झकझोर लिया
उस रात की बात न पूँछ सखी, जब साजन ने खोली अंगिया.


मैं पीछे से सुन री ओ सखी, साजन से जोरों से से लिपट गई,
मैंने उँगलियाँ अपनी सखी बार बार, साजन के सीने पे फेर दई,
उसके नितम्बों को अपने अंग से, दबाया और फिर रगड़ दिया
उस रात की बात न पूँछ सखी, जब साजन ने खोली अंगिया.


साजन सखी गुस्से में डूबा, निष्क्रिय सा बिलकुल लेटा रहा,
मेरे हर चुम्बन पर लेकिन सखी, गहरी-गहरी सांसें वह लेता रहा,
मैंने अपने हाथों को सुन री सखी, नीचे की तरफ अब बढ़ा दिया
उस रात की बात न पूँछ सखी, जब साजन ने खोली अंगिया.


मेरी चंचल उँगलियाँ जैसे ही, साजन की नाभि तक पहुंची,
साजन के बदन में थिरकन हुई, लहरें उकसी अंग तक पहुंची
अन्तः वस्त्र में अब हाथ ड़ाल, साजन का उत्थित अं…

Happy Investing

Dark Clouds are lining the sky
Panik sellers don't know the reason why!

Some say China is in a mess
But difficult to say how bad is the case
They also fear that the Fed may hike
Bcoz of which FII selling will spike

Back home there is no dearth of bad news
All sorts of 'market experts' are shouting their views


With such gloom its is easy to get sold
Beware before your investments catch cold
Don't panic and sell your gold (good stocks)
In fact its time to be rational and bold

The market is a funny animal
Alternately called a bull or a bear
I would call it an Investment Carnival
That is a also a 'wealth making' friend dear

Amid all such noice
what you need is a saner voice

This crash is not the first
nor will it be the last
Human emotions of greed and fear
are as old as the time when man hunted deer!

The markets have survived two world wars
They have taken thousands of wounds and scars
Yet they have bounced back time and again
Rewarding Investors who have bought…

Fresh, Latest, new non-veg, adult, erotic, whatsapp and text sms messages

लड़का: सुहागरात है.. घूँघट उठा रहा हूँ मैं लड़की: भोसड़ी के, जो मुझे चाहिए उसको उठा, ये फालतू काम मैं कर लुंगी.


सेक्सी गर्ल अपनी मम्मी को लेकर डॉक्टर के पास गई..
गर्ल : मेडिकल चेकअप करना है..
डॉक्टर : सारे कपड़े उतार कर पर्दे के पीछे लेट जाओ..
गर्ल : मेरा नहीं, मम्मी का..
डॉक्टर : ओह्ह.. माता जी जीभ दिखाइए..


बनवारी ने तीन दिन तक मुठ नहीं मारी . . . . तो लंड से आवाज आयी . . . . . भाई नाराज है क्या ..


Girl : Mujhe badi thand lag rahi hai, mere dono heater ko chhu lo
Boy: Abhi bhi thand lag rahi hai kya?
Girl: abbey ghochu niche plug tau lagaa


बच्चा मैडम से- मैम औरत को बच्चा कैसे होता है?
मैडम ने उसकी मासुमियत भरे सवाल का क्या जवाब दिया.
मैडम: जब तुम बङे हो जाओगे, और तुम्हारी शादी हो जाएगी तो रात को एक परी आएगी और तुम्हारी सोई हुई बीवी की गोद मै धीरे से एक बच्चा सुलाकर चली जाऐगी।
बच्चा: तो फिर मुझे चोदना किसको है ? बीवी को या परी को..
मैडम निकल मादरचोद क्लास से ।


Don't ever let your girl talk to another guy about her problems; A shoulder to cry on, becomes a dick to ride on.


If yo…

Erotic adult non-veg sawal jawab - Question and answer...

Qus→ जीवन का उद्देश्य क्या है ?
Ans→ जीवन का उद्देश्य मरते दम तक चोदना है..!!
📒
Qus→ जन्म और मरण के बन्धन से मुक्त कौन है ?
Ans→ चूत और लण्ड !!
📒
Qus→संसार में दुःख क्यों है ?
Ans→क्यों कि मनपसंद चूत नहीं मिलती..!!
📒
Qus→ ईश्वर ने दुःख की रचना क्यों की ?
Ans→क्यों कि इंसान चूत में ही ना मर जाये .!!
📒
Qus→ भाग्य क्या है ?
Ans→सील पैक चूत मिलना ही भाग्य है ..!!
📒
Qus→ इस जगत में सबसे बड़ा आश्चर्य क्या है ?
Ans→ बिना हड्डी के लण्ड इतना कोहराम मचाता है हड्डी होती तो क्या करता ..!!
📒
Qus→किस चीज़ को त्याग कर मनुष्य धनी बनता है ?
Ans→ चूत का लालच ..!!
📒
Qus→ कौन सा एकमात्र उपाय है जिससे जीवन सुखी हो जाता है?
Ans →अपना हाथ जगन्नाथ !!
📒
Qus → किस चीज़ के खो जाने
पर दुःख नहीं होता ?
Ans → कण्डोम !!
📒
Qus→ धर्म से बढ़कर संसार में और क्या है ?
Ans → दयावान चूत ..!!
📒
Qus→क्या चीज़ दुसरो को नहीं देनी चाहिए ?
Ans→ अपनी गांड .!!
📒
Qus→ क्या चीज़ है, जो दूसरों से कभी भी नहीं लेनी चाहिए ?
Ans→ जो दिल से फिदा हो उसकी गांड ..!!
📒
Qus→ ऐसी चीज़ जो जीवों से सब कुछ करवा सकती है ?
Ans मनपसंद च…

Pussy vs. Beer

A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement.
-- Advantage: Beer

A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot.
-- Advantage: Pussy

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
-- Advantage: Beer

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not.
-- Advantage: Draw

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
-- Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in.
-- Advantage: Pussy

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
-- Advantage: Pussy

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
-- Advantage: Beer

If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
-- Advantage: Beer

6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
-- Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat. …

Possible condom slogans

1) Cover your stump before you hump.
2) Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.
3) Don't be silly, protect your Willie.
4) When in doubt shroud you spout.
5) Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
6) You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong.
7) If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
8) If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.
9) It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.
10) If you slip between her thighs, condomize.
11) She won't get sick if you wrap your dick.
12) If you go into heat, package your meat.
13) While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis.
14) When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse.
15) Especially in December, gift wrap your member.
16) Never ever deck her, with an unwrapped pecker.
17) Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.
18) The right selection, is to protect your erection.
19) Wrap it in foil, before you check her oil.
20) A crank with armor, will never harm her.
21) If you really love her, wear a …

Happy New Year 2016 - Sms, whatsapp, text messages, wishes, greetings - 4

Sunehri dhoop barsaat ke baad Thodi si hansi har baat ke baad Usii tarah ho mubarik aap ko 2016, 2015 ke baad Wish u a happy new year

Isse pehle ki saal ka antim suraj ast ho, Isse pehle ki 2015 ka calender nast ho, Isse pehle ki aap khushi ke mahaul mein mast ho, Aur isse pehle ki mobile network vyast ho, Dua hai ki aane wala saal aapke liye zabardast ho. Happy New Year 2016!

Day by day teri khusiya ho jaye double, Teri zindagi se delete ho jaye sare trouble, Khuda rakkhe hamesha tujhe smart & fit, Tere liye New Year ho super-duper hit!!

Naye Sapane Naye Apne Naye Vade Naye Kasme Naye Manzil Naye Rahe Nayi Baat Naya Vishwas Kooch Simple Kooch Khas Har Pal rahe Bindass Happy New Year 2016

Another year filled with sweet memories and joyous times has passed. You have made my year very special, and I wish for you to continue to do so. With you around, every moment is a special occasion for me. I hope you have a great year ahead. May God bless my love with his care and warmth. I love…

Happy New Year 2016 - Sms, whatsapp, text messages, wishes, greetings - 3

Wishing my dearest friends great begining to...  "Twenty Sixteen (2016)".... Feel Twenty & Look Sixteen....??

The Problem With Nice People Is That They Will Not Tell You  That They Are Hurt.
They Will Wait For You To Realize Your Mistake. ????Good Morning???? Wish you a very successful new year ??

Time has no holiday.. Dreams have no expiry date.. And life has no pause button...!  Live it..  Love it..  Enjoy each and every moment of your life....!!  Save only those memories which gives twinkle in your eyes... Not wrinkles on your face...!!  Have a fantastic last day of 2015 & look forward to a fantabulous 2016 ! Wishing you a safe and a wonderful year ahead....????

My best wishes for you.. Great start for Jan, Love for Feb, Peace for March, No worries for April, Fun for May, Joy for June to Nov,  Happiness for Dec. Wish u a very happy and a great year 2016????

Aâpke life mein mithââs ho “Câdbury Silk” jâise Rounak ho “ Berger silk” jâise Mehak ho “GUCCI ” jaise Tazg…

Happy New Year 2016 - Sms, whatsapp, text messages, wishes, greetings - 2

This New Year may you banish all your fears, doubts and worries as you make room for dreams, aspirations and joys.

As this year is packing its bag, I wish for you that all the pessimism and troubles also do likewise, and the New Year bring achievement and coveted results for you.

Every New Year we dream of a better world for us and ours. This Year let us take up the onus to make the world a better place for you, me and everyone else.

This New Year may you have the strength to rewrite the story of your life the way you want it to be.

This New Year never let sorrow and dismay cloud your clarity and positivity, for it is the latter virtues that would help to bring in sunshine to your life.

Remember that no New Year can be perfect. But you need to ignore the negative and embrace the positive.

This New Year may you dive into your soul and form an everlasting friendship with yourself.

May each day of the New Year be celebratory with you surrounded by those who care.

This New Year I wish yo…

Happy New Year 2016 - Sms, whatsapp, text messages, wishes, greetings - 1

May this New Year be a special one for you and your family instead of just being a chronological change of date and time.

This New Year my wish for you is that you should be at peace with yourself as you feel connected with your soul.

May the year 2016 give you the opportunity to realize your dreams, rediscover your strengths, muster your willpower and rejoice the simple pleasures that life would bring your way.

May each day of the year 2016 bring you little joys and simple surprises that will fill up each day with fun and happiness.

This New Year my wish for you is to dream big, but be satisfied with the simple blessings that life has gifted you with; to make mighty plans for the future, but never to ignore the little joyous moments of the present.

May you begin the New Year 2016 with a joyful heart that gives you a clear mind to decide the right track for you to follow to achieve a bright and beautiful future.

May this new year bring peace and joy in your life and take you towards …

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