Cute, lovely, sweet, romantic Valentine's Day sms messages, wishes, shayris, greetings for your loved one

1.I wanted to tell you that wherever I am,
whatever happens, I’ll always think of you,
and the time we spent together,
Was my happiest time. I’d do it all over again,
if I had the choice. No regrets.

Girl updates her faceook status online valentine’s day
दिल की ख़ामोशी पर मत जाओ,
राख के नीचे, आग दबी होती है!
Boy Comments:
आग से वही खेलते हे जो अंगारो पे चलते है!
Happy Valentine’s day

2.You are my love & You are my valentine…
I do love you & it’s true,
I never knew my life without YOU
I wanna live but it’s only with YOU
Please be my valentine, I will hold you for 4rever

3.Kaun rakhta hai yaad naamo ko,
Log chehere ko bhool jatey hain,
Tum samunder ke baat karti ho,
Log aankhon mein doob jatey hain.
happy valentines day 2015

4.If you were my valentine I would search the endless SKIES
to find the perfect starlight that would compliment Ur EYES
and keep it in a wishing well created just for you &
filled with my desires 2 make all ur DREAMS come true.

5.With every breath I take, with every song I sing.
I think about U, about the love and care.
With which U touch my life. ..
Happy Valentines day!!!

6.Love,is more than what I have.
Love,is more than what you are.
Love,takes me where I have never been.
Love,takes me where I am 2day.
In love,it is what I am with U.

7.Na to YAADO ko yaad rakhte hain
Na hi SAPNO ko saath rakhte hain
Hum to buss unko yaad rakte hain
Jo hamein dil ke pass rakhte hain.

8.No poems no fancy words I just want the world to tell you that I LOVE YOU my LIFE with all my heart. Happy Valentines Day.

9.Let’s share the world
A sea is for YOU, and waves are for ME.
The sky is for YOU, and stars are for ME.
The sun is for YOU, and light is for ME.
Everything is for YOU, and you are for ME.

10.Love cannot be bounded in any boundries of a particular day
It’s the only requirement of a person from birth to death.
Still to feel its presence and for our expressions,
we celebrate valentines day.

11.Hum tere sath chalenge tu chale na chale,
tera har dard sahenge tu kahe ya na kahe,
hum chahte hai ki tum sada khush raho,
hum chahe rahe ya na rahe..

12.You are the DREAM in my SLEEP.
You are my VISION in my EYES.
You are my SMILE on my LIPS.
You are BEATS of my HEART.
You are ANGEL in my PRAYER.
You are LIGHT of my LIFE.
Happy Valentine’s Day Dear.

13.Love is like playing the piano.
First you must learn to
play by the rules,
then you must forget the
rules and play from your heart.

14.Har subah apki FINE ho…
Dildar doston ki hamesha LINE ho….
Apki zindagi mein khushi ki Shine ho…
Bhagwan kare ki apka har din VALENTINE ho…
happy valentines day 2015.

15.If you wake up 1 day and were asked to have a wish,
what would it be?
Mine would be that our love would last until you see a MANGO in an orange tree.

16.If Your asking if I Need you the answer is 4Ever
If Your asking if I’ll Leave U the answer is Never
If Your asking what I value the Answer is U
if Your asking if I love U the answer is YES I do.

17.Kaanto ke badle phool kya doge
Aansoon ke badle khushi kya doge
Hum chahate aap se umar bhar ka saath
Hamare iss sawal ka jawab kya doge…!!

18.Don’t wait until it’s too late,
To tell someone how much you love,
How much you care. Because when they’re gone,
No matter how loud you shout and cry,
They won’t hear you anymore. HAPPY VALENTINE DAY

19.Socha aap say baaat karoon,
Phir soocha, ek mulaqaat karoon,
Phir soocha, kyun na intezaar karoon,
Phir soocha, kyun na ek kaam karoon,
Ek piyaara sa sms aap ke naam karoon,
Happy Valentines Day! :)

20.Jab tanhai me aapki yaad aati hai,
Hontho pe ek hi fariyad aati hai…
Khuda aapko har khushi de,
Kyonki aaj bhi hamari har khushi aapke baad aati hai..
Happy Valentine’s Day !!

21.Sweeter than the candies
Lovelier than the beautiful red Roses
More hug-gable than toys
That’s what you’re
Here’s wishing you a Happy Valentines !That’s as special as you are!!

22.Humse door jaoge kaise,
Dil se hume bhulaoge kaise,
Hum to vo khusboo hain jo aapki
saanso mein baste hain,
Khud ki saanso ko rok payoge kaise .

23.If a butterfly comes close to you,
if a perfumed rose touches your face,
if your mobile dances on a nice tone,
remember its me trying to say you
happy valentines day…!!

24.Jub Khamosh Aankho Se Baat Hoti Hai
Aise Hi Mohabbat Ki Suruwat Hoti Hai ,
Tumhare Hi Khayalo Mein Khoye Rehte Hain
Pata Nahi Kab Din Kab Raat Hoti Hai
Happy Valentine’sday !!

25.Love is Life
Love is Knife
It cuts our throat,
till the time we thrive,
sorrow and nature,
don’t go aside,
but smile and say,
that You are my Valentine….!!

26.I love u the way u TALK
I love u the way u LAUGH
I love u the way u CARE
I love u the way u REACT
I love u the way u THINK
I love u The waY u ARE
YOU are my Valentine..
happy valentines day !!

27.Don’t luv someone who is beautiful but luv one who’ll make ur life beautiful.

28.Ishq ne hume Rula Diya
Jis PAr Marte The usne hi hame bhula Diya
hum to unki yaAdon mein hi jee lETAY,
magar unhone to yaadon mein hi ZEHER mila diya!!

29.You are like the sunshine so warm,
You are like sugar, so sweet.
You are like you.
And that’s the reason why I love you!

30.Love is like a cloud… Love is like a dream…
Love is one word and Everything in between…
Love is a fairytale come true…
Because I found love when I found you.
Happy Valentine’s Day!

31.Teri kami bhi hai,tera EHSAAS bhi hay.
Tu door bhi mujh se aur PAAS bhi hai.
KHUDA nay yun nawaza tere PYAAR say mujh ko
kay mujhe khud pay ghuroor bhi hay aur NAAZ bhi hai.
Happy Valentine”s Day !

लडकिया पटाने का शोक नहीं है हमें
… माँ कसम…
पर क्या करे दोस्तों की डिमांड है की भाभी चाहिए !!

32.The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them. Forever yours…your Valentine.

33.The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt within the heart. As my love for you..!!

34.The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.

35.I have never seen such a sweet face
As that I stood bef4.
My heart has left its fixed place
And cant return to where it was.
Be with me forever.

36.Kitna bhi chaaho, na bhool paoge
Hum se jitna dur jao nazdik paoge
Humein mita sakte ho toh mita do
magar mri yaadein kya khud
se juda kr paoge .
Happy Valentine Day!

37.We’ve known each other, For a long long tym,
But I never really noticed, All d MAGIC in ur eyes,
I’ve been around U, A thousand tymes be4,
And you have always been a friend for me,
But now I’m wanting more.
think about it !Happy Valentine’s!!

38.Na chaho kisi ko itna ki,
chahat aapki majboori ban jaye,
chaho kisi ko itna ki,aapka pyaar
uske liye zaruri ban jaye !!

39.DO not close ur EYES 2 the 1 who opened UR HEART.HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!

40.I wish I were a cell in your blood, so I would be sure I was somewhere in your heart. Happy Valentine’s Day

41 .You R my strength, My lOVE, My hEARt, Your loving touch dat I felt
so mch, YOur voice so soft Thatt whispers in my Heart ,I’m Yours forever be mine my Life !!
I LOVE U !! Happy Valntines !!

42.Humare bahot hi kareebb tum aate ho
mere dil ko bohot hi bhaate ho
jab dekhne ko aankh kholta hu
to bs tm hi nazar aate ho !!

43.I wish you were my Valentine
Though I may not be urs,
And I may, in my thoughts,
Be speaking to closed DOORS.
I have no inkling of your heart,
No hint what you might say;
But when I think of you the sun
Will just not go away.

44.I searched through BOOKS & leafed through CARDS,
For words that would convey, what I had in my heart,
But when I sat down to write, all I can write was.
I Love U my LIFE !
Happy Valentine”s Day!.

45.Thank you for the memories of yes8rday,
for the happiness of 2today,
and the promise of all 2morrows!
I love you Sweet<3 day="" happy="" p="" s="" valentine="">

46.You are my sun and stars, my night, my day,
My seasons, summer, winter, my sweet spring,
My world, my thoughts, my breath, my future
My all, my love, my Valentine .

47.My LOVE for U is like water,Falling COUNTLESS;
D beating of my HEART for you z heavy and SOUNDLESS,
D feeling of being in UR ARMS is Precious and ENDLESS…………!!

48.The smallest word is I,
the sw33test word is LOVE
and the d3ar3st person
in the world is U.
dats y I Love You..:)

49.A word 2 say, a word 2 hear
Even in ur absence I feel you near
OUr relation is strong..hope it goes long
We wil remain the same til the life goes on!

50.YOUR precious LOVE has
turned my LIFE completely around,
I feel like I am wlaking but
my feet don’t seem 2 TOUCH the GROUND..!!

51.Your LOVE is like a river peaceful and DEEP,
UR soul is like a SECRET dat I could never keep,
When I look in2 your EYES I know its true,
you were made for me and I am made for U!!

52.Zarurat hi nai hai ALFAAZ ki
pyaar to cheez hai bas EHSAAS ki
paas hoti to MANZAR hi kya hota
dur se hi khabar hai humy aapki har SAANA ki.

SEx Poem

Fuck me hard...n fuck me deep..!
Don't stop..until i weep.!
Suck my boobs..n kis my lips!
Go on baby..shake my hips!
I love the feel of u in my pussy!!
Ek baat kahun..kya chodte ho tusi!!
Eat my burger of McD!
Chodo mujhe..faad k meri chaddhi!
Woofer mai teri..tu mera amplifier..!!
Kisi aur ko chod ke aaya hai na..u
Faad di hai tune..aj meri fuddi..!
Aise hi chodte rehna..jb tk mai ho na
Muh me lene ka aaj man hai mera..!!
Taiyar ho ja..lund pe saja k sehra!
Chudna chahti hun mai like a whore.!
Condoms lana.. one plus four...!!

Poem by a RAND

Main aayi shehar me logo ne
mujhe ghoora,
Bra khol mera doodh pee gaye
Ramu chacha aaye or mera daam
bol diya,
Kuch kahu uske pehle mera nada
khol diya, .
Unki harkat bahut acchi thi,
Agle hi pal unke hath me meri
kacchi thi,
Bed pe chaadar rang birangi thi,
Kuch hi palo me main poori nangi

Valentine's Day Messages for your valentine

I'm glad cupid shot you for me with his arrow.

Sorry I'm a day late wishing you a happy February 13th.

I guess today is just as good of a day as any to tell you how I feel about you.

I'm glad I don't need a special day to feel special when I'm with you.

All I want for Valentine's day is for you to enjoy yourself.

Romance is easy when the one you adore is as amazing as you.

This is my favorite day to love on my favorite person.

You are the only reason I enjoy Valentine's Day.

I love celebrating our love the way we do. We always have a good time.

You are the best present I could have on Valentine's Day!

I just have one question for you. How did I get so lucky to have you as my Valentine?

I love that you love me despite my faults.

You are my sweet candy. You are my beautiful flower. You are my perfect Valentine's Day present.

Valentine's Day helps to remind me how special you are to me. We were made for each other.

I want you to do something special for me every February 14th. Be mine!

Love is always amazing, but ours is especially awesome!

I want to experience Valentine's Day with all my senses. I want to experience you with all my senses.

I feel like royalty when I'm with you. You are my prince and I am your princess.

Valentine's Day would be a sad day without you. I can't imagine not having you now.

No chocolates or other candies can be as sweet as you. No teddy bear can be as cuddly, and no roses can be as beautiful.

I trust you with my heart, even though it is fragile. Thanks for taking good care of it.

It's not that I don't love Valentine's Day, it's just that I love you more.

Thanks for being my sweetheart and my Valentine. Happy Valentine's day!

If our love was a song, I'd want to blast it all the time. And I'd dance to it with you.

You have my heart, my soul, and my eyes. You are my Valentine now and forever.

I wasn't sure what to say on Valentine's Day. Chocolate covered cherries, roses, and red are symbols of words I wish I could have said.

You are my comfort when I am feeling down and the smile I feel even when I frown. Thanks for being mine.

If I could have anything on Valentine's day, I would choose you, again. Love ________.

Being my Valentine is the most important job you have on Valentine's Day. Make sure you aren't late for work.

Some people say Valentine's Day is just another day for card companies, flower shops, and candy companies to make more money. I disagree, I think it's the best excuse for all of us to show each other how much we love our significant other the way we should every day.

I hope you can feel my love this Valentine's day even though I can't be with you. Cupid has a long range arrow for us. I am confident in Cupid's marksmanship nevertheless. (Long distance message)

I can't imagine Valentine's Day with anyone else or without you. Thank you for being my companion and my lover.

Dating you makes every day feel like Valentine's day, but I don't mind if they want to make it official on Feb. 14th.

Have an amazing Valentine's Day filled with feelings of love, and know that I am thinking of you warmly.  

You are a beautiful person on the inside and the outside. I love hanging out with you and appreciate having you in my life.

If it wasn't for the mushy feeling you give me, I wouldn't be able to stand the mushiness of Valentine's Day. Thanks to you, I can enjoy Feb 14th.

When I try to think of all the reasons I love you, my head hurts. I don't like to have to count that high.

Being in love is like being irrationally obsessed. O.k., I admit it. I'm guilty of being a little obsessed with you.

A lot of people say that it's all the little things that make them love another person. In my case, it's the big things that I love about you.

Our love is magnetic. Even though we are polar opposites in some ways, we're strongly attracted to each other.

Love is in the air and it might get a little difficult to breathe today.

My heart harts your heart.

I've been thinking of some adjectives to describe you, but then I realized those same adjectives could describe my gift to you: beautiful, sweet, etc.

You make V-day a fun time. All I can do is write you a rhyme.

We have a special kind of love that we can celebrate in a special way.

ankh milaa ke ankh... churaya nah kare

ankh milaa ke ankh churaya nah kare
ankh milaa ke ankh churaya nah kare
koi usse keh de mujhe yun tarsaaya
nah kare
mein bhi akhir insan hoon mere bhi
jazbat hein
chudwate hoe mujh se woh sharmya
nah kare
sanmp ki maned lun khud shurakh
dohoond le ga
beithne tu de durmian beshak tangein
uthwaya nah kare
ooper rakh ke lun ko jo uss se mein
kaise mumkin hai choot woh hilaya
nah kare
Jaan tu cheez hai kiya lun bhi de
doon usko
shart hai roz woh niya launda pitaya
nah kare
woh tu 2 bar hi chudwa ke ho jati hai
khada ho mera teesri bar tu chor ke
jaya nah kare
jo ho lal jhnadi tu gand hi marne de
meri bhi maan le kabhi apni hi
manwaya nah kare
choopa tu laga leiti hai bade shauq se
gand marwane ke liye mintein
karwaya nah kare
kabhi kabhar tu zaeqa badalne mein
muzaeqa nahein.Jani
har roz tu choot apni mujh se
chatwaya nah kare.

Valentine's Day Quotes

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. -Charles M. Schulz

Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever. -Author Unknown

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. -Emma Goldman

I've fallen in love many times... always with you. -Author Unknown

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you. -A. A. Milne

Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another. -Thomas Merton

A hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you. -Author Unknown

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? -Author Unknown

Original Sayings about Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day puts a magnifying glass on the love people take for granted on a daily basis.

The divorce rate proves that cupid's aim has been a little off these days.

Valentine's Day is actually not for the romantics, it's for the lonely to feel even more lonely than they already did on regular days.

Chocolate covered cherries, roses, and teddy bears are way too pleasant to symbolize real genuine love.

If you have a special someone on Valentine's Day, she should know how special she is before Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day is your opportunity to show just how superficial your love is by buying a bunch of stuff for someone just because you're supposed to.

Valentine's Day is a day of mourning for the lonely.

If we made every day Valentine's Day, the world would be a much better place.

Valentine's Day is a great day to surprise your girlfriend with a romantic gesture. There's no way she'll be expecting it on that day.

Nothing is more romantic than going out on the busiest date night of the year. That's why so many people do it every year on Valentine's Day.

Love is the most important part of Valentine's Day, and it doesn't cost anything.

Valentine's Day is a day for romantics to feel normal.

Valentine's Day is all about putting your love into action.

No one hates Valentine's Day like a man who knows the woman he loves is with another.

Ultimate super erotic, sexual, sexy, hot, non-veg, adult jokes

Lund ki awaj ko damdar kehte hai,
fati chut ko bekar kehte hain,
Sirf chodne ka nam mohabat nahi hota,
kisi ki yado me mutthiya marne ko bhi pyar kehte Hai..

Unki gali se guzre,to chaubara nazar aaya,
unki gali se guzre, to chaubara nazar aaya,
uski Maa bahar aa k boli-
gand faad dungi bhosdi k jo dobara nazar aya..

Aaj Uska Dil Phir 'DUKHA' Diya Humne,
Apne Pyar Ka Karz 'CHUKA' Diya Humne.
De kar Lalach Use
Andhere Me Apna "LUND" chusa Diya Humne...

Dil todne ki saja nahi milti,
Dil tutne ki wajah nahi milti,
MAAL to bahut fass jaate hai mere dost...
Bas unhey thokne ki jagah nahi milti....!

Kutumminar ko dekhker lokesh ka dimag dauda.
Kutumminar ko dekhker lokesh ka dimag dauda
Aasmaan ko chodne chala dharti ka loda...

Dena Hai Lund Daan Me,
Dena Hai lund Daan Me,
"AE Dost" Hai Koi CHOOT Dhyaan Mei?
Agar nahi hai to yeh Gum ka Ghoot Bhi pee lenge
Teri gaand mar k hi jee lenge

Dilbar k hamne pyar se jo boob daba diye.
zara gour farmaiye.
dilbar k hamne pyar se jo boob daba diye.
Bhen ki lodi ne laat mar ke humare GOTE suja diye.


Gaalib Ne Arz Kiya:
Naadan Hain Woh Log Jo
Kehte Hai Ki
Choot Per Baal Hai..
Naadan Hain Woh Log Jo
Kehte Hai Ki
Choot Per Baal Hai..
Yeh Toh Laude Ko
Fasane Ke Liye
Bichhaya Huwa
Jaal Hain..!

Arz hai
Har ek LuND Pe Likha Hai
ek CHUT Ka Nam!
pehle sun to le lawde
Har 1 LuND Pe Likha H
1 CHUT Ka Nam!
To Fir Q nhi dete Ho Hatho Ko aram?

Door goan me ek basti thi jaha pe randia sasti thi.
unki gand me itni masti thi
jaha dalo hasti thi.
magar aap kyu haste ho usi goan ke lagte ho

chodan chodan kare sabhi
chod sake na koye
jab chodne ki bari ayi
land khada na hoye

Pesh-e-khidmat ek gazal...
Kal chodne ki raat thi,
Sab ne kia apna khada,
Kuchh ne kaha...
mera bada,
Kuchh ne kaha...
uska bada
Hum b wahin maujood the
Hum chup rahe,
Bas hans diye,
Jab hum ne
kiya apna khada
( ' )
/ /
/ /
/ /
/ /
/ /
( ) )
Sab ne kaha:

Na Chodo kisi ko itna
ke Uski Choot Tumhari kamjori Ban Jaye.
Usey Chodo kuchh Iss Tarah
ke Tumhra Lund Uske Liye Zaruri Ban Jaye..!

Valentine’s Day Greeting Cards-Romantic Wishes for Husband or wife

  • You make my heart melt, like a chocolate in the sun.
  • I wish you more energy as you run in my thoughts every time. Happy Valentine’s Day sweetheart.
  • Looking at our kids, How far we’ve come! Thanks for making it easier for me. You’re my only love.
  • Thanks for making my rough times easy. Thanks for being my lifetime valentine. I love you.
  • Thanks for loving me. You’ve completed my life. Happy Valentine’s Day my love.
  • Thank you for coming into my life. You make my life complete.
  • Life is short indeed. Let’s make the most out of it.
  • Do you know why I love you? It is because you are you.
  • Can you be my valentine, Once again?
  • Can we be together always and hold each other forever?
  • I am yours & you’re mine. Please be my Valentine.
  • Time to cheer because you are here.
  • Can you stay forever with me?
  • Finding you is the most important thing that I did.
  • You are the reason of my happiness, you’re my better half.
  • Whenever you tell me that you love me, I cannot help but to feel blessed.
  • I may not see you always, but my love for you will continue to grow.
  • Why is it that the more you are away, the stronger my feeling for you gets?
  • Your smile is the best way to start my day.
  • Seeing you beside me every morning makes my day complete.
  • Your voice is a song that I want to sing and your action is a dance I want to learn.
  • I cannot love more than the way I love you.
  • You are my one love, today and always.

Happy Valentine’s Day messages for Husband & Wife - Boyfriend & Girlfriend

I love reading love stories
but honestly ours is my favorite.
Thanks for writing every chapter of our life so romantic.
Happy Valentine’s Day Sweetheart.

Life has become more meaningful  Just because of you.
I can’t even imagine my life without you.
I am happy because of you.  I love you!
Happy Valentine’s Day

Through good or bad
ups or downs
Better or worse
You were always there to hold me up
Thanks for giving me the most wonderful ride of my life

Among two of us
You were always right
And then there was me.
Your husband.

I miss you every minute you’re away.
Let us fall in love more.
Let us get married again.
Happy Valentine’s Day Honey.

Thanks for growing old with me.
Thanks for making it so easy for me
Life is short but we’re making the most of it.
Thanks for being my lifetime Valentine.

Rough times become easy when you are here.
Your inspiration is enough to keep me moving on.
Thank you for your love. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Loving you is my mission.
Being with you is my reason.
I am happy to give you my all.
Happy Valentine’s Day!

Nothing can compare with you
Not even the flowers in full bloom
Nor the beautiful sunset in the west.
I wish to bring you happiness
And all the love, even my life!
Happy Valentine’s Day sweetheart!

Sexy poetry of first time sex

Raat ki tanhai me, mai baithi thi akeli
Itne me padosh ke ek ladke ki awaz aai
Aa jao mere paas ghar me koi nahi
Mai kuch sharmai ghabrai
Aur ithlate hui uske paas gai
Usne dhire se ghod me uthaya
Aur bade pyar se bed par sulaya
Sari ka palla giraya
Blouse kholkar bra sarkaya
Besaram ne jhat se mamme ko
Apne mouth me ghusaya
Jhor se daato se mamme ko dabaya
Aur doodh kisi me nahi
Maine kaha mai chudwane aai hu
Maine kaha mai tere bacche ki ma nahi
Phir usne apni anguli
Meri chud me ghusai
Mai jor se chilla padi
Arre Boka choda yeh meri chud hai
Koi hodh nahi
Uska loda bhi ho gaya
Puri tarah khada
Maine bhi use chum kar
Liya bada maja
Kaha usne ab bekarar na karo
Lund ko chud me jane do
Lekin mai thodi itrai
Itni jaldi kya hai
Bus abhi turant to mai aai
Mai le rahi thi ish nok-jhok ka maja
Itne me sale ne meri
Gaand me ghusa diya lauda
Mai jor se chillai
Phir lagi masti aane
Usne phir pyar se dekhte huye
Kaha mai abhi bhi pyasa hu
Pyas meri bujha de re
Ab jyada der na kar
Lund ko chud se mila de re
Mai bhi thi ab uske lund
Ke liye Bekarar
Maine bhi kaha, Jaan
Ab chud hai tere hawale sanam
Chod le ise mauka nai milega aisa phir
Usne bhi jhat apna lund
Mere chud me gaad diya
Maine bhi iska bahut luft liya
Chud ne ka accha andaz tha
Yeh mere jivan ka pehla ahsas tha
Jo bhi ho
Yeh bada khas tha

नाच रे मोरा ची हया पीडीची नविन कविता

कवितेचा आनंद घ्या 

टाक रे लवडा पूच्चीच्या भोकात
टाक रे लवडा टाक

पूच्चीशी लवडा झूंझला रे
काळे काळे झाटा भिजल्या रे
आता नाही आहे पाळी, बघून घे खाली
फूगव लवडा आणि टाक, टाक रे लवडा......

झरझर धार झडली रे
पूच्ची माझी पाण्याने भिजली रे
झवाझवीत न्हाऊ, लवडा तूझा खाऊ
करून पूकारा टाक, टाक रे लवडा.....

थेंब थेंब पूच्चीत नाचती रे
टप टप आवाज करती रे
चडाचडी वेगात, खेळ खेळू दोघात
नाग्या सवंगडया टाक, टाक रे लवडा.....

दोघातली झवाझवी थांबली रे
पूच्ची माझी रसाने भिजली रे
लवडा लागला गळू, करी हळू हळू
नव्या जोमाने टाक, टाक रे लवडा.......

I hate Valentine’s Day quotes & Sayings for those who are single or have broken up recently

“Happy phony, romanticized, overly commercial, sucks to be single, pretend that it’s love, day!”

Today is Valentine’s day, or as men like to call it. Extortion day! 😀

No Women will ever be satisfied truly on valentine’s day because no man will ever have a chocolate penis that ejaculates money.

The course of a true love did never run straight.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular.

“Valentine’s Day is for couples. We SINGLES have the other 364 days of the year to enjoy ourselves!”

I’m single because I was born that way.

“Being single is pretty good. It’s a nice sense of irresponsibility.”

On Valentine’s day: “I don’t need a girlfriend. My job irritates me everyday & that’s enough for me”

I think, therefore I’m single.

I like being single because then only I am always there when I need me. -Art LEO

Sorry girls, I wont be giving heart this year. Instead I have another throbbing organ you might be interested in. 😀

That awkward moment when you realize that Valentine’s day is approaching fast and the only one you love is your pet. 😛

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular.

This valentine’s day, I wont cry for u bcz my mascara is too expensive.

Some People treat relationship as a video game. They play them and when they get bored they CHEAT

I don’t love valentine’s day but i love half price chocolate day.

Waiting for someone else to make you happy is the best way to remain sad.

Valentine’s day remind me that I need to change something in my life, and that is my lover.

Love Just sucks, Sometimes it feels good but sometimes it is just another way to bleed.

You, my dear, are a creature of the night, you are a vampire

The course of a true love did never run straight.

Honey singh LOVE DOSE rap new version..

Yo yo

Yeh gandd sa roshan chehra..
jhaato ka rang sunehra..
kaise dekhu tera bhosda..
bhosde pe jhaato ka pehra...

Iss jhaato ko hata do..
Bhosde ko dikha do..
Bhosde ke nashile jaam..
Laude ko pila do..

Lagta hai pehle yaha bahut lund ghuse ya nahi mujhe nahi mallum..
Idhar udhar kya deti..
Girl I am fucking 2 you..

Ab bhosde se hataya jhaate..
Lavde ko ghussao ji..
Duniya wale Jo bhi soche..
Humse Hi chudvao ji..

Ab Lund ko uthao ji..
Aur gandd mei ghusao ji..
Unko bhi future mei chodne wale Lavde se milao ji..

Hello uncle..
Na masti,chalo kaam ki baat pe aate hai..
Ab aap ye puchoge ki Aap kitna time lagate hai..
Bas jitna aapki ki beti ek mahine mei chudvati hai..
Ek hafte mei mera lauda..
Utne shot lagata hai..

Hai Lund..
Hai condom..
Hai jhaate..

Tum nangi apni ladki bhejo ladki ko hum lagate..

Gaand mein gorilla dekha

Gaand mein gorilla dekha
Jhaat mein nageena dekha
Chikni chut dekhi
Chikna se lauda dekha
Chotte land se randi ko choda
Toh saare badwe bole saale tu hai chakka
Pa para para...
Meri jhaat, teri jhaat
Zyaada badi kisi jhaat
Thaali mein katora leke
Mutt maare toh pata chale kiski jeet, kiski haar!
Mere piche kisi ne ungal kiya toh
Saala main tere muh mein ghusedo apna tatta
Ispe bhoot koi chadha hai
Chodna jaane naa
Ab toh kya gora kya kaala hai
Tharak pehchaane naa
Land pakad ke khaada hai kambakht
Chodna jaane naa
Randibaaz dil, Randibaaz dil, Randibaaz dil
Maane na, maane na
Randibaaz dil, Randibaaz dil, Randibaaz dil
Maane na, maane na
Yeh jo haal hai, sawaal hai, kamaal hai
Jaane na jaane na
Randibaaz dil, Randibaaz dil Randibaaz dil
Maane naa..

Sweet, romantic, love, flirt text messages and wishes for the Valentine's Day

A day without you in my life should never come and even if it does, let that be the last day of my life.

A day without you is a day without sun, a night without you is a night without moon; a life without you is a life without life.

As busy as we get, we need to be reminded that we are still sweethearts. Valentine’s Day is a good day for me to stop and realize how wonderful you make me feel. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Cupid shoots well for me! He hit you and me with perfect aim.

Love is too weak a word for what I feel for you. One life is too small a time to express how madly I am in love with you.

Curved high on a mountain, covered deep in dew, I saw these words… I LOVE YOU!

Even though Valentine’s day costs a lot more with a girlfriend, you are the one girl in this world who is totally worth it.

Every moment I am not without you, my tears fill the ocean blue…By mine, my love, forever.

Every time I see you, I feel a little flame in my heart, that lights up, because… I LOVE YOU!

Falling in love is like looking at the stars. If you pick one out of the billions and stare at it long enough all the others will melt away.

You walked in, and the sun broke through the clouds. Suddenly, life was worth living, and it became this big adventure. Thank you for being part of my life.

You are a haven for my heart, a refuge for my soul.

The day we met is a day I will cherish until the end of time. I have never felt as happy as I do when you are at my side.

For today or tomorrow, be mine, forever and ever and ever.

God has created you only for me, because he knows no one can love you more than me!

Happy Valentine’s Day to the sweetest valentine I could want. You are my sweetheart, and I am glad you’re mine.

I am lucky to have a girlfriend who is beautiful, fun, smart, and crazy enough to go out with me.

I am wondering how I got so lucky to have you as a girlfriend.

I cherish every minute that I spend with you! I am so blessed that I can, for a love so special.

I cherish the time that we spend together and know that you are a great Valentine.

I consider myself to be the luckiest woman on this Earth and it’s only because I have found the most precious jewel of this world. It’s you, my love. You are the only thing that looks good on me.

I couldn’t think of anything better to write in your card than the truth. I love you!
Funny Valentine’s Day Love Quotes

I do not think often, I do not think much, but when I do, I think of you only.

I don’t just love you. I love that I get to have you as my Valentine. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Love and Chocolate

I don’t know how to write great messages in cards, but I want to let you know how special you are to me. You are awesome! Happy Valentine’s day!

I don’t know what I mean to you, I don’t know whether you love me or not, but I love you forever, forever, and forever.

I feel the happiest when I think about you, coz I love you.

I have one wish for Valentine’s Day. I want you wrapped up in a big bow.

Your smile sets my heart on fire.

I have seen angels in the sky, I have seen snowfall in July, I have seen stars falling apart, but I haven’t seen anyone like you.

I like all the ways that we hang out together, even when were mad. And I like the things that are not appropriate for a greeting card.

I love loving you. Happy Valentine’s day!

I love my life because it gave me you. I love you because you are my life.

I love you today, I love you tomorrow, and I love you forever…till I die…

I loved you then and I love you now. But I am least bothered as I can’t imagine doing anything else.

I loved you when the sun set yesterday, I love you when the moon comes tonight and I will love when the sun rises tomorrow.

I may not say always how special you are for me, I may not reach to you because I am busy, but you are someone I really love and care for.

I need you like a butterfly needs its wings, an ice bear needs cold weather and a soul needs a body.

I pray to God for a thousand lives, and I wish I get you in each of them.

I thank god because he made me meet you in the journey of life.

There was a flash of bright lights and a puff of smoke and music in the air when you walked in. Right away, I knew I had found my special someone.

I thank my life; because it gave me you…I love my life because you are a part of it.

I want to let you know that I want you to be my Valentine. Again!

I was reborn when you first kissed me. Part of me died when you left me. But now I still live, waiting for the day you return to me.

I will hold on you forever because I have never known someone more special than you.

I will wait for you till dawn even if it is the darkest night.

Love Messages and one liners for Valentine's Day

  • My days seem to be as dark as night without you. Your love brings sunlight to my heart- my sweetheart.
  • My heart beats taking your name and it beats because you stay there.
  • My Love is sweet when it is new, sweeter when it is true and sweetest when it’s with you. I love you.
  • Our love is like a romance movie, but the best part is that it never ends. Happy Valentine’s day!
  • Small things that you do makes my heart fill with joys.
  • Sometimes I laugh even when there is no around thinking about all the funny things that you do just to make me happy. Love you for being there always.
  • Thank you for letting me have such a wonderful person as my Valentine this year.
  • The first time you touched me, I felt love and even now the feeling of anxiety and excitement remains the same when you come close to me. The love for you grows with every passing moment.
  • The greatest tragedy of life is not that men perish,but that they cease to love.
  • The reassuring smile on your lips, touch of your hands, and the little ways in which you make me happy is what keeps me alive everyday.
  • The way you look at me when I sit in front of the mirror… your smile when I catch you unaware noticing me… these small things show how much you love me more than any words can express.
  • The way you wake me up and hold me in your arms every morning makes for a great start of my day, and I know you will always make me feel this special no matter how much we grow old.
  • There’s nothing I’d rather do this Valentine’s Day than be with you. There’s nothing I’d rather be than your boyfriend.
  • Think of my love like a diamond ring, – precious, rare and gorgeous, that glorifies your life forever.
  • Thousands may come in your life and thousands may go, but there will be one person on earth who can give away life for you-and that’s me!
  • Times have changed but your love has remained the same since the time we have been dating. I love you so much.
  • True love is difficult to find, great to have, easy to lose, but hard to forget, I love you forever.
  • Valentine’s Day makes me stop to realize how awesome it is to be going out with you.
  • Valentine’s Day is much more fun when I get to spend it with you.
  • We picture love as heart-shaped because we do not know the shape of the soul.
  • When I die. I want to go to heaven, to put your name on a star. Let all the angels see, how much you mean to me.
  • When I think of you, Roses of red grow in my heart. Every time I see you smile, they bloom and make me happy.
  • When you come to me with your hair all messed up, I love you. When you come to me with chocolate all over your lips, I love you. When you crack silly jokes with me, I love you. I love you because you join me in my weirdness. Thanks for being my silly soul mate. Love you forever!
  • Whether Valentine’s Day or not, I can’t think of anyone I would rather spend a day with. Happy Valentine’s Day.
  • Who says we are miles apart? I still see you as I close my eyes.
  • Without your love I can do nothing, with your love there is nothing I can’t do.
  • You always know exactly how I feel and you are always there to make me feel alright when I stay far away from you… It is love that keep the connection between us so strong.

  • You are as warm as sunshine. As sweet as sugar, as beautiful as flower, as pure as my love for you-I love you!
  • You are my destination in life, also the way to reach to it. Wish to spend this lovely journey with you.
  • You are my first thought when I wake up; you are my last thought when I fall asleep.
  • You are not mine, but still I don’t know why I am afraid of losing you.
  • You are sweeter than chocolate and more beautiful than a rose.
  • You are the best gift I could ever ask to have for Valentine’s Day!
  • You are the sun in my days, the moon in my nights, the waves in my ocean, and the life in my life.
  • You deserve to be loved on Valentine’s Day. I’ll make sure you get what you deserve.
  • You might mean to be a no one for the world, but for someone, you mean the whole world.
  • Your eyes lit up my world, your smile brightened my sky.
  • Your love help me find happiness in the most unexpected ways… life with you has been sheer bliss.
  • Your love lightens up my path and shows me the way to move forward.
  • Your love makes my life stronger and happier – be mine forever.
  • I wish God gives me birth hundred times only to be your lover forever.
  • I wish to die before you, so that I can write your name on each star. Let the world see you mean the world to me.
  • I would have been incomplete without your love; it’s you who makes me whole.
  • I’m happy to be your Valentine, but not as happy as I am to have you as my Girlfriend every day.
  • If I had to choose whether to breathe or to love you, I would use my last breath to tell you that… I love you.
  • If I have life, it should be with you, if I have to die, I should die before you!
  • If I tried to write all the things that I like about you in this card, I’d run out of room. Here are a few of my favorite things: (write all the things you like about her).
  • If staying in your heart is a prison, I would accept to be sentenced for life.
  • If you ask me how much I love you, count the stars! It is as countless and endless like them!
  • If you ask me when shall I stop loving you, ask my heart when will it stop beating?
  • I’m glad you have me as your boyfriend, because now I know you’ll be loved the way you should be for Valentine’s Day.
  • It is love when we think about each other every single moment despite being miles apart. We resides in each other’s heart.
  • It’s a long day but I know I will be fine with your touching care, Be there when I come back because I feel so lost when you are not around.
  • Last night I matched every star with a reason for loving you. I ran out of stars because my love is countless.
  • Let these words touch your eyes, let these feelings touch your soul; let this love touch your heart.
  • Life without your love is like a tree without any fruit.
  • Like everybody who is not in love, he thought one chose the person to be loved after endless deliberations and on the basis of particular qualities or advantages. – Marcel Proust
  • Love is a state of mind which has nothing to do with the mind. – Bob Phillips
  • Love is sweet when it is new and sweeter when it is true and sweetest when it is with you, you seduce me, so I’m falling into you can’t you see.
  • Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that. – Michael Leunig
  • Loving you is like breathing-so essential and important to remain alive.
  • Loving you is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

  • रात को

    लड़का : भूख मुझे लगी है,
    खाऊ कहा जाके?

    लड़की : रोटी यहां बनी है,
    खाओ इधर आके.

    लड़का : नींद मुझे आई है,
    सौऊ कहा जाके?

    लड़की: बिस्तर इधर लगा है,
    सो इधर आके.

    लड़का : लंड मेरा खड़ा है,
    डालु कहा जाके?

    लड़की : चूत मेरी खुली है,
    डालो इधर आके.

    दूसरे दिन सुबह

    लड़की: दर्द मुझे हो रहा है,
    बताऊँ किसे जाके?

    लड़का : मेरा काम हो गया,
    माँ चुदा जाके..

    Poem by a girl

    Main aayi shehar me logo ne mujhe
    Bra khol mera doodh pee gaye poora,
    Ramu chacha aaye or mera daam bol
    Kuch kahu uske pehle mera nada
    kholdiya, .
    Unki harkat bahut acchi thi,
    Agle hi pal unke hath me meri kacchi
    Bed pe chaadar rang birangi thi,
    Kuch hi palo me main poori nangi thi,.
    Unke paas na i-pill na nirodh tha,
    Mere man me bas isi baat ka virodh
    Main darti rahi aur karti rahi,
    Chudne se pehle jitna khil khila rahi
    Bed pe utna hi mai chilla rahi thi,
    Lund unka meri chut ki waadiyo me
    kho gaya,
    Ab niche dekhiye aapka bhi khada ho

    Boobs ki aatmktha

    Mera janam 12 saal baad hua,

    Jab mai bilkul choti thi,
    tab my frock me soti thi

    Fir mere aakar ka vistar hua,
    Nimbu badh k Anaar hua

    Jab my badne lagi,
    Har kisi ki nazar mujh pe padne lagi

    Hua fir Bra mera ghar,
    Ab Lagne laga mujhe darr

    Jab mera size hua bada,
    Jane kitno ka hua khada

    Bheed me Ladko ne hath mara,
    Muje ehsaas hua bahot Pyara

    Fir na jane kitno ne dabaya,
    Sach kahu to bada mazaa aaya

    Kisi ne pyar se sehlaya,
    Kisi ko pyar se chusvaya.

    Kisi ne mujhe masal diya,
    kisi ne mujhpe Apna Popat ragad diya.

    Ab Jab my gayi jhool,
    Sare madarchod mujhko gaye bhool...

    Ladki chudai ka maza aur hai

    ladki chudai ka maza aur h
    chut ki gehrai ka maza aur h
    uske honto k chumne ka maza aur h
    uske nange badan pr ghumne
    ka maza aur h
    usse apni pent khulwane ka
    maza aur h
    uss hasina se lund ko chuswane
    ka maza aur h
    uski bra or chaddi ko fadne
    ka maja aur h
    lund ko chut.main pura badne
    ka maza aur h
    uske komal se rashile badan
    ko katne ka maja aur h
    uski chut ko do hisson main
    baatne ka maza aur h
    uski chut.main khun nikalne ka
    maza aur h
    phir jhatke se gand me lund
    daalne ka maza aur h

    Girl’s Song After Marraige

    Lulle Anmulle !!
    Bade Chete Aunde Ne Yaaran De Lulle.
    Jado Si Fulle..
    Fuddi Vich Varde..
    Dhuni Tak Charde..
    Kai Var Marai..
    Vich Umar Jawani..
    Oh Dunia Vakhri Si
    Kineya Ne Vajaiya..
    Na Hon Padhaia Roj Thukaiya..
    Saari Raat Ghar Ni..
    Kise Da Dar Ni..
    Gasti Vargi Udo Jindgani..
    Bade Chete Aunde Ne Yaran De Lulle..
    O College Mundea Da..
    Vaje Sade 11..
    Ni Jana Yara..
    Ni Kapde Kholle..
    Ni Khade Lolle..
    Paake Vich Fuddi De..
    Ni Chikaan Chadiya..
    Munde Bade Shokeen Hunde..
    Kapde Laake..
    Mumme Dabonde..
    Maje Dwaonde..
    Bade Chete Aunde Ne Yaaran De Lulle..
    ‘Baba’ Lambe Lulle Vaala..
    Na Condom Ponda..
    Na Tel Lagonda..
    Agge Di Paake..
    Picho Di Kad Da..
    Bade Chete Aunde Ne Yaaran De Lulle..

    Pyari Dimple

    Hoon main sexy, naughty & simple,

    🔹Pyaari hoon, naam hai dimple,

    🔹Laga hai mujhko satravaan saal,

    🔹Raaton ko hota hai haal behaal

    🔹Khud hi dabaati hoon apni choochiyan,

    🔹 Roz choot mein, daalti hoon ungliyaan,

    🔹Sapno mein bas milte hain lund,

    🔹aankh khule, to tanhai ki thund.

    🔹Aise mein chat pe dekha jab usko,

    🔹dil mera laga karne disco,

    🔹woh thha mera naya padosi,

    🔹umar pachhees, naam mohan joshi.

    🔹Ankhiya mili, phir dil muskaaye

    🔹jaldi hee hum aur karib aaye,

    🔹phir ik din aisa bhi aaya,

    🔹ek kamre mein sirf, mohan ko paaya

    🔹Janam-janam ki pyaas thi meri,

    🔹kaise sahti ab aur doori

    🔹chipak gayi mohan ke tan se,

    🔹laga choomne wo bhi manse.

    🔹Choochi tan gayi, choot akad gayi,

    🔹laga main ladki se aurat ban gayi,

    🔹mohan ne mujhe kar diya nanga,

    🔹kapde utare apne, shuru hogya panga

    🔹Lund dekh ke, meri phat gayi,

    🔹koshish kee, par cheekh nikal gayi,

    🔹nahin-nahin mohan, main mar jaungi,

    🔹itne bade lund se nahin chudvayungi,".

    🔹Mohan dheeme se muskaya,

    🔹choochiyon ko seene se chipkaaya,

    🔹mammey choose dheere, phir jor se,

    🔹mazaa aa gaya raam kasam se.

    🔹Dheere se choot mein ungli daali,

    🔹dil ab dar se ho gaya khaali,

    🔹daali jeebh jab mohan ne andar,

    🔹choot ban gayi ek samandar.

    🔹Ghoom gaya mohan bistar par,

    🔹munh mein lund, rakha choot pe apna sar,

    🔹choos-choos kar laya toofan,

    🔹maine bhi choosa uska ufaan.

    🔹Munh mein aaya uske namkeen 'milkmaid',

    🔹choosa mohan ka, ab hui asli raid,

    🔹mohan ke laude ne roop dikhaya,

    🔹dekh ke mera. Sar chakaraaya.

    🔹Rakha lund ko choot ke munh pe,

    🔹ik dhakka aur haath mere munh pe,

    🔹aankhein meri poori phat gayi,

    🔹cheekh band, par choot chatakh gayi.

    🔹Laga maarne zaalim dhakke,

    🔹bebas thee, diye peeth pe mukke,

    🔹laga mazaa ab aane mujhko bhi,

    🔹chootarr utha diye maine bhi.

    🔹Khoon nirantar bah raha thha mera,

    🔹kisko gam tha, yeh din thaa mera,

    🔹utha-utha ke, mohan ne le li,

    🔹mauka dekh, daali gaand mein ungli.

    🔹chodo mohan, apni dimple ko chodo,"

    🔹cheekhi main, "aur jor se chodo"

    🔹thahar jaa randi," bola mohan,

    🔹loot liya zaalim ne mera yauvan.

    🔹Laal ho gaya thha mukh uska,

    🔹theek waqt pe choot se khiska,

    🔹mere munh pe laaya pichkaari,

    🔹paa kar juice, meri nikli kilkaari.

    🔹pehle kahaan maraa thaa ab tak,

    🔹ab chodega mujhko tu tab tak,"

    🔹jab tak bani rahe aazadi,

    🔹ya jab tak ho meri shaadi,".

    🔹Pyara mohan haule ! se muskaaya,

    🔹haami mein, mera mamma sahlaaya,

    🔹us din se apnee life hai simple,

    🔹main hoon apne mohan ki dimple.

    Sexy, sexual, non-veg, dirty, erotic, adult sms text and whatsapp jokes

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    Banta - Na bum, na seena. Phir bhi haseena.....

    संता ने एक बार अपना कच्छा धो कर  अपनी पडोसन के तार पर डाल दिया .😜😜😜
    उसी तार पर पडोसन की सलवार भी सुख रही थी 😂😂😂
    संता जाते जाते पडोसन से बोला भाभी जी आप जब अपनी सलवार उतारो तो मुझे आवाज़ लगा देना
    मै भी अपना कच्छा उतार लूँगा😀😀😀😗
    😄भाभी आज तक कनफिउज़ है कि इसका इसारा किस तरफ़ था

    This one is a masterpiece ..
    Santa is sucking, licking, caressing and kissing his OWN fingers, palm & hand.... ✋
    Banta : Why this madness? 😳
    Santa: This is foreplay.. before Masturbation !

    Girl: मेरा रेप हो गया..
    Mom: थोड़ी मिर्ची खा ले...
    Grl: क्या मिर्ची खाने से Pregnant नहीं होउंगी़..?
    Mom: नहीं हरामजादी.. पर तेरे चेहरे से चुदाई की  खुशी थोड़ी कम हो जायेगी..

    एक दुखी व्यक्ति डॉक्टर के पास जा के मदद की विनती करता है-
    डॉक्टर साहब मैं एक तकलीफ से बहुत परेशान हूँ... मुझे बचा लिजिये...
    डॉ :- जरूर भाई....
    बताओ क्या तकलीफ है ?
    व्यक्ति :- रोज सुबह उठ के मैं अपनी बीवी के साथ बड़े जोश से सेक्स करता हूँ...
    फिर ऑफिस जाते वक्त एक सहकर्मी को लिफ्ट देता हूँ जो मुझे रस्ते में मुखमैथुन करके देती है...
    फिर ऑफिस में अपनी सेक्रेटरी के साथ डॉगी स्टाइल में सेक्स करता हूँ...
    फिर शाम को लौटते वक़्त एक रांड को होटल ले जा कर बजाता हूँ...
    घर आ के डिनर के बाद एक बार फिर बीवी के साथ पुरे जोश से सेक्स करता हूँ...
    डॉ :- तो इसमें समस्या क्या है?
    व्यक्ति :- सर इस सब के बाद जब मैं आधी रात को मुठ मारता हूँ तो लंङ में थोडा दर्द होता है...
    डॉक्टर - उपरवाले से डर रे मादरचोद

    Bhabhi ji- लड्डू के भैया हमको एक डायमंड रिंग चाहिए
    Tiwari- भक पगली बकवास मत कर
    Bhabhi ji- माँ की चूत
    Tiwari- अरे पगली वो माँ की चूत नहीं मक्खीचूस होता है
    Bhabiji- सही पकड़े हैं

    बहुत सालो के बाद मिली......
    मैंने पूछा number बदल गया क्या,
    वो बोली नहीं वही है  34
    कमबख्त क्या पूछा था और क्या बता गयी

    Ek Aurat Auto Rukwa Kar Paise Tay Karte-Karte Doosre Auto Mein Baith Gayi.
    Pehla Auto Wala Hadbadi Mein Jaldi-Jaldi Se Bola.
    Auto Wala: “Ye Kya Baat Hui, Madam? Khada Aapne Mera Karwaya, Aur Chadd Doosre Par Gayi?“

    Boy- I want to sex with u
    Girl- Tamij se baat karo
    Boy- Alla tala k fazlo karam se khuda ka ye nek banda
    ap mohtarma ko arju-e-fitrat se be inteha chodna chahta hai….

    Ek hizde ne armi ke sare test pass kar liye sex test me manager bola aapka to lund hi nahi hai
    tab hizda bolta hai manager bataiye aapko goli chal bani hai ya maa chud bani hai...

    Santa comes bleeding.
    Banta: What happened?
    Santa: Jaggu hit me with hammer.
    Banta: Didn’t u hv anything in ur hands?
    Santa: I had. Banta: What? Santa: His wife’s boobs!

    ladki boli 200 loongi, HIL HIL k maza du gi…
    ladka bola 100 doonga HIL mein khud lu ga..
    ladki boli to phir ye 100 bhi bacha le aur hath se HILA le….

    Girl Friend: Mera rishta aaya hai aur shadi hone wali hy.
    Boy Friend: That’s Good,
    Phir to hum condom ke bina sex kar sakenge…..

    Boy during Sex: Kyun na hum shadi kar lein, phir hum roz aisa kar sakenge.
    Girl: Mazdoor ho Mazdoori karo, factory ka maalik ban-ne ki koshish na karo.

    Badi hasrat thi dil ki,
    Kholein unki salwaar ka nara,
    Sanam ki berukhi to dekho ki,
    Nange hi chale aaye……

    What is the similarity between burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend?
    In both cases boy thinks, “Ek minute pehle nikal liya hota to kitna achcha hota”

    Ladki santa ka private saman dekh kar boli: “itna bada”
    Santa khushi se bola: “O ji hum punjabi hain hamara to sub kuch hi bada hota hai”
    Jab ladki ne apni salwaar utaari to santa uski choot dekh kar bola “Oye! Tusi vi punjabi ho“

    Madam Ne English Period Mein Munni Se Puchha,
    Madam: “Translate This Sentence In Hindi – Pappu Gives Me 14 And 15 Rupees”
    Munni Sharmate Hue: “Mam, Pappu Ne Mujhe Choda Aur Pandra Rupaye Diye.

    Horny, Corny, Erotic, adult, non-veg sms text messages pick up lines to arouse the sexual devil in your partner - Happy Velentines' Day

    “You eyes are as bright as energy saving halogen light bulbs, would you light up my life?”

    Screw the nice list, I’ve got you on my “nice and naughty list!

    That’s not a candy cane in my pocket. I’m just glad to see you!

    My best toys run on batteries.

    Santa’s lap isn’t the only place wishes come true.

    Interested in seeing the “North Pole”? (Well, that’s what the Mrs. calls it)

    Are you religious? ‘Cause your prayers have just been answered.

    Would you touch me so I can tell my friends that I’ve been touched by an angel?

    Are you Greek? No? I thought all gods (goddesses) were Greek.

    Let me check out your tag — yep, just what I thought. “Made in Heaven.”

    You can kiss heaven goodbye cause its got to be a sin to look that good.

    You know they say that you have never really dated until you have dated a Christian.

    You want to come over and watch the 10 commandments tonight?

    Do you believe in Divine appointment?

    I have a snake and he wants to enter your garden.

    The fact you are in my life shows God loves me.

    You know how god created everyone you must have been his best creation Confess here often?

    Stare at him/her till they say “What?” then be like “sorry I just looking at you and realised where God put my other half”

    Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

    Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep getting lost in your eyes.

    Your eye is bluer than the Atlantic ocean and baby, I’m all lost at sea.

    Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

    How was Heaven when you left it?

    You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

    The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

    Honey, you give new meaning to the definition of ‘edible’.

    I think I can die happy now, coz I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.

    Has anyone ever told you that your eyes are clear like the ocean? Because I can see straight into your soul. If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.

    I wish I was one of ur tears, so I could be born in your eyes, run down your cheek, and die on your lips. Can you give me directions to your heart? I’ve seemed to have
    lost myself in your eyes.

    It’s not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.

    God gave us two ears, two eyes, two legs and two hands, but he only gave us one heart, and he wanted me to find you and tell you, you are the second one

    This morning I saw a flower and I thought it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen; until I met you.

    Was your father a thief? ‘Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

    What time do you have to be back in heaven?

    There are much fish in the sea but you’re the only one that’s caught my eye

    “When I’m older looking back at all of my finest memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

    ” If you wake up in an RED room, with no windows or doors..don’t be alarmed,’re just in my heart

    Your earrings are the mirrors which reflect the moonlight into your eyes

    I hope there’s a fireman around, cause you’re smokin’!

    I think you’ve got something in your eye. Oh never mind, it’s just a sparkle.

    Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars and matched each one with a reason why I love you.

    I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.

    If a star fell for every time I thought of you, the sky would be empty.

    Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

    If I had to choose between breathing and loving you…. I’d take my last breath to say “I Love You”

    Your smile lit up the room so I had to come over.”

    Hi, my friend thinks you’re kinda cute, but I don’t. I think you’re absolutely gorgeous.

    Do you wear contacts?! (she says no…) Because your eyes are just so beautiful!

    (On a rainy day) I figured out why the sky was grey today…all the blue is in your eyes.

    There aren’t enough “O”‘s in the word “smooth” to describe how smooth you are.

    If you know a person’s name: “Hi, [name].” How did you know my name? “Isn’t every beautiful girl named that?”

    Are you a girl scout because you tie my heart in knots.

    May I have the distinguished honour and privilege of sitting next to you?

    Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?

    If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.

    Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you have stolen my heart.

    You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.

    Your eyes are as blue as the ocean, and baby I’m lost at sea

    Your so sweet, you’re giving me cavities

    If I have your heart would you let me beat?

    If you had eleven roses and you looked in the mirror; then you’d see twelve of the most beautiful things in the world.

    How does it feel? she asks’s what; you say 2 be the only star in the sky

    Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

    Hey baby do you like a man that can carry big things because I have the biggest sweetheart

    I’ll put a tear drop in the ocean. When you find it is when I’ll stop loving you.

    I lost my teddy bear can I sleep with you

    I know I don’t have a library card but can I check you out?

    Did you ever realize screw rhymes with me and you?

    Hey, I’m looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?

    My two favorite letters of the alphabet E-Z

    There’s a party in my pants and your invited.

    I’m addicted to yes, and I’m allergic to no. So what’s it gonna be?

    Hey, I lost my underwear, can I see yours?

    Hey, why go for the best when you can go for the rest?

    I lost my virginity… can I have yours?

    I may not be able to knock bottom, but I’ll scrape the sh1t out of the sides!

    My body is telling me yes. I hope yours is doing the same thing.

    Is there a magnet in your pants? (Why?) Cause I’m attracted to your buns of steel!

    Here is $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come to talk to me.

    The only thing I want between our relationship is latex

    I’m gay but you might just turn me straight.

    What’s your favourite silverware?..because I like to spoon!

    Is that a tic-tac in your blouse or are you just glad to see me?

    Your father must be a drug dealer, cuz you dope!

    Are those space pants? cuz your legs are out of this world!

    Do you mind if I stare at you up close, instead of from across the room?

    Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

    Hey honey, I got money!

    My name is Peter Pan, cuz I can take you to Never Land.

    If I followed you home, would you keep me?

    You must be from Tennessee! Because you are the only TEN I see!

    Every breath you take, every tweet you make, I’ll be following you.

    Roses are red. Violets are blue. If you’re seeing this tweet, I Do you believe in love at first tweet? Or should I tweet you again?

    I may not be a genie but I can make your tweets come true.

    I need more than 140 characters to tell you how beautiful you are.

    You must be on twitter cuz I been following you all day

    Your twitters make my heart flutter.

    Fancy tweeting someone like you in a place like this.

    Let’s direct message_all_night_long_ #kiss #sex

    Tweet here often?

    Was that an earthquake or did u just tweet my world?

    Who cares about celebrities? You’re the only star in my Twitterverse.

    I usually don’t follow the first night but for you, I’ll make an exception.

    Erotic, adult, non-veg One liners sms text messages pick up lines to get ahead with your partner - Happy Velentines' Day

    Did you fart? cuz you blew me away.

    Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special.

    My Love, you’re you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.

    Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em.

    If you n I were Squirrels, I’d store my nuts in yer hole.

    You might not be the best-looking girl here, but beauty’s only a light switch away.

    Man – “Fat Penguin!” Woman – “WHAT?” Man – “I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.”

    I know I’m not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

    If yer gonna regret this in the morning, we kin sleep til afternoon.

    Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

    If there was a party in your mouth I’d be the first person to come

    How about you sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up

    Let’s play titanic when I say iceberg you go down

    If I was a watermelon would you spit my seed?

    The only reason I would kick you out of the bed is to fcuk you on the floor

    I would call Heaven and tell them an angel was missing, but I’m kinda hoping you’re a slut!

    I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.

    Wanna Job? It Blows!

    My dick just died, can I bury it in your vagina?

    Hi, I’m a burglar… and I’m gonna smash your back door in!

    You can call me “The Fireman”….mainly because I turn the shoes on!

    I’m a zombie, can I eat you out?

    I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.

    I’m a businessman. I work in orifices, got any openings?

    I’m going to have s*x with you later, so you might as well be there!

    Some men go around telling women they have an eight-inch p*nis; I’d never shortchange myself like that!

    The last woman I was with said, “Kiss me where it stinks.” So, I drove her to New Jersey.

    Can I park my car in your garage? It’s pretty big, but it doesn’t leak.

    I have a tongue like an anteater; want to go to the zoo?

    I’m not a d*ck in real life, but I’ll play one in your v*gina tonight!

    Your a*s is pretty tight, want me to loosen it up?

    Looks don’t matter, I’ll just wrap you in a flag and fcuk you for glory.

    Hey, is that a keg in your pants? Cause I’d sure love to tap THAT a*s!

    I would tell you a joke about my p*nis….buts its too long 😉

    My magical watch says you’re not wearing any p*nties…oh, you are? Damn, it must be an hour fast…

    “I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I, at least, have the box it came in?

    ” I’m a Gemini. What’s your sign – Fire Down Below?

    We should play strip poker. You can strip, and I’ll poke you.

    I’ve got a big one, you wanna see how hard it works?

    Hey baby, what’s your sign? Caution, Slippery When Wet, Dangerous Curves ahead, Yield?

    Roses are red, violets are blue, we’re having s*x, cause I’m stronger than you

    My cat’s dead, can I play with your p*ssy instead?

    Hey baby, I’m kind of cold, Can I use your thighs as earmuffs?

    If I was a robot and you were one too, If I lost a bolt would you give me a screw?

    The names D*ck, can I put it in you?

    Yeah. I’m an a*shole, but will that stop me from getting in yours?

    I think my allergies are acting up. Cuz every time your around my d*ck swells up.

    Walk up to a female and look at her crotch then look at her face back to crotch to face and say “Are you gonna eat that?”

    Baby, I want to wear you like a pair of sunglasses, one leg over each ear.

    Hey! tell your ni*ples to stop staring at my eyes.

    Those bo*bs look very heavy… can I hold them for you?

    Let’s play circus, first sit on my face I’ll guess ur weight and Let’s eat the difference

    How about you get on your knees and smile like a donut!

    That dress would look great on my bedroom floor!

    You are so selfish! You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.

    I’ve just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.

    Come here or my d*ck will start CUMING for you!

    What’s the biggest moving muscle in a women’s body makes My cock!

    I’m bigger and better than the Titanic … only 200 women went down on the Titanic

    Lets play house…you can be the door so I can slam you all I want!

    The word for tonight is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word?

    Do you handle chickens because you look like you’d be good with c*cks

    Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?

    I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock!

    First, I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I’ll move up to your belly button.

    Baby!! My love for you is like Diarrhea. It just keeps coming out

    Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other.

    Having s*x is a lot like golf. I’m always happy when I get a hole in one.

    Your pants remind me of Vegas…. The kinda place I go to blow my Wad.

    How much do your clothes cost? (Woman says “Why do you want to know?”) Cause I`ll need to know how much to pay you back after I rip them off.!

    Wanna make like scarface and say hello to my little friend

    Your br*asts remind me of Mount Rushmore….my face should be among them.

    Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I’ll throw you my meat.

    As long as you need a place to sit, you’ll always have my face.

    Beauty is only skin deep; a huge c*ck goes much deeper.

    Do you cum here, often?

    Wanna do something that rhymes with truck?

    Do you know the difference between my p*nis and a chicken wing? No? Well, let’s go on a picnic and find out!

    My d*ck just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

    Guess what?! I’ve got an 8″ tongue and I can breath out of my ears!

    Do you have a boyfriend? (Yes) Do you mess around? (No) Would you hold still while I do?

    Have you ever bought a vibrator? (No.) Do you want to rent one?

    “Are you cold? Would you like a jacket? Because you can jack it when we get back to my place”

    You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can br*astfeed by you until I’m 5.

    Since we shouldn’t waste things in this bad economy, what you say we use these co*doms in my pocket before they expire.

    “Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?” (pull your pockets inside out) “Would you like to?”

    Let’s go to my place and do some math add a bed subtracts our clothes divide your legs and multiply

    Hey! Wanna play war? I lay on the floor and you blow the fcuk out of me!

    If we were both squirrels would you let me bust a nut in your hole?

    “I’m against animal cruelty, so don’t hurt my monkey, please stroke it gently”

    “Wanna take a shower with me to conserve water?”

    “When I see you, sea levels aren’t the only thing rising…”

    “Your so hot you must’ve started all of the global warmings”

    “Turning off your Engine, gets my motor humming”

    “I don’t drive a car, but I’d love to walk you home!”

     ”Turning off the Lights, is one of my Turn On’s”

    “I bet your Dad is an Environmentalist because you are so eco-friendly”

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