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Showing posts from February, 2016

Cute, lovely, sweet, romantic Valentine's Day sms messages, wishes, shayris, greetings for your loved one

1.I wanted to tell you that wherever I am,
whatever happens, I’ll always think of you,
and the time we spent together,
Was my happiest time. I’d do it all over again,
if I had the choice. No regrets.

Girl updates her faceook status online valentine’s day
दिल की ख़ामोशी पर मत जाओ,
राख के नीचे, आग दबी होती है!
Boy Comments:
आग से वही खेलते हे जो अंगारो पे चलते है!
Happy Valentine’s day


2.You are my love & You are my valentine…
I do love you & it’s true,
I never knew my life without YOU
I wanna live but it’s only with YOU
Please be my valentine, I will hold you for 4rever


3.Kaun rakhta hai yaad naamo ko,
Log chehere ko bhool jatey hain,
Tum samunder ke baat karti ho,
Log aankhon mein doob jatey hain.
happy valentines day 2015


4.If you were my valentine I would search the endless SKIES
to find the perfect starlight that would compliment Ur EYES
and keep it in a wishing well created just for you &
filled with my desires 2 make all ur DREAMS come true.


5.With every breath I take…

SEx Poem

Image
Fuck me hard...n fuck me deep..!
Don't stop..until i weep.!
Suck my boobs..n kis my lips!
Go on baby..shake my hips!
I love the feel of u in my pussy!!
Ek baat kahun..kya chodte ho tusi!!
Eat my pussy..like burger of McD!
Chodo mujhe..faad k meri chaddhi!
Woofer mai teri..tu mera amplifier..!!
Kisi aur ko chod ke aaya hai na..u
liar?
Faad di hai tune..aj meri fuddi..!
Aise hi chodte rehna..jb tk mai ho na
jaun
buddhi!!
Muh me lene ka aaj man hai mera..!!
Taiyar ho ja..lund pe saja k sehra!
Chudna chahti hun mai like a whore.!
Condoms lana.. one plus four...!!

Poem by a RAND

Image
Main aayi shehar me logo ne
mujhe ghoora,
.
Bra khol mera doodh pee gaye
poora,
.
Ramu chacha aaye or mera daam
bol diya,
Kuch kahu uske pehle mera nada
khol diya, .
Unki harkat bahut acchi thi,
Agle hi pal unke hath me meri
kacchi thi,
.
Bed pe chaadar rang birangi thi,
Kuch hi palo me main poori nangi
thi?????????

Valentine's Day Messages for your valentine

I'm glad cupid shot you for me with his arrow.
Sorry I'm a day late wishing you a happy February 13th.
I guess today is just as good of a day as any to tell you how I feel about you.
I'm glad I don't need a special day to feel special when I'm with you.
All I want for Valentine's day is for you to enjoy yourself.
Romance is easy when the one you adore is as amazing as you.
This is my favorite day to love on my favorite person.
You are the only reason I enjoy Valentine's Day.
I love celebrating our love the way we do. We always have a good time.
You are the best present I could have on Valentine's Day!
I just have one question for you. How did I get so lucky to have you as my Valentine?
I love that you love me despite my faults.
You are my sweet candy. You are my beautiful flower. You are my perfect Valentine's Day present.
Valentine's Day helps to remind me how special you are to me. We were made for each other.
I want you to do something speci…

ankh milaa ke ankh... churaya nah kare

ankh milaa ke ankh churaya nah kare
ankh milaa ke ankh churaya nah kare
koi usse keh de mujhe yun tarsaaya
nah kare
mein bhi akhir insan hoon mere bhi
jazbat hein
chudwate hoe mujh se woh sharmya
nah kare
sanmp ki maned lun khud shurakh
dohoond le ga
beithne tu de durmian beshak tangein
uthwaya nah kare
ooper rakh ke lun ko jo uss se mein
sehlaoon
kaise mumkin hai choot woh hilaya
nah kare
Jaan tu cheez hai kiya lun bhi de
doon usko
shart hai roz woh niya launda pitaya
nah kare
woh tu 2 bar hi chudwa ke ho jati hai
mutmaen
khada ho mera teesri bar tu chor ke
jaya nah kare
jo ho lal jhnadi tu gand hi marne de
mujhe
meri bhi maan le kabhi apni hi
manwaya nah kare
choopa tu laga leiti hai bade shauq se
woh
gand marwane ke liye mintein
karwaya nah kare
kabhi kabhar tu zaeqa badalne mein
muzaeqa nahein.Jani
har roz tu choot apni mujh se
chatwaya nah kare.

Valentine's Day Quotes

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. -Charles M. Schulz

Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever. -Author Unknown
I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. -Emma Goldman
I've fallen in love many times... always with you. -Author Unknown
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you. -A. A. Milne
Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another. -Thomas Merton
A hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you. -Author Unknown
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? -Author Unknown

Original Sayings about Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day puts a magnifying glass on the love people take for granted on a daily basis.

The divorce rate proves that cupid's aim has been a little off these days.

Valentine's Day is actually not for the romantics, it's for the lonely to feel even more lonely than they already did on regular days.

Chocolate covered cherries, roses, and teddy bears are way too pleasant to symbolize real genuine love.

If you have a special someone on Valentine's Day, she should know how special she is before Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day is your opportunity to show just how superficial your love is by buying a bunch of stuff for someone just because you're supposed to.

Valentine's Day is a day of mourning for the lonely.

If we made every day Valentine's Day, the world would be a much better place.

Valentine's Day is a great day to surprise your girlfriend with a romantic gesture. There's no way she'll be expecting it on that day.

Nothing is mo…

Ultimate super erotic, sexual, sexy, hot, non-veg, adult jokes

Lund ki awaj ko damdar kehte hai,
fati chut ko bekar kehte hain,
Sirf chodne ka nam mohabat nahi hota,
kisi ki yado me mutthiya marne ko bhi pyar kehte Hai..


Unki gali se guzre,to chaubara nazar aaya,
unki gali se guzre, to chaubara nazar aaya,
uski Maa bahar aa k boli-
gand faad dungi bhosdi k jo dobara nazar aya..


Aaj Uska Dil Phir 'DUKHA' Diya Humne,
Apne Pyar Ka Karz 'CHUKA' Diya Humne.
De kar Lalach Use
'ICE-CREAM' Ka,
Andhere Me Apna "LUND" chusa Diya Humne...


Dil todne ki saja nahi milti,
Dil tutne ki wajah nahi milti,
MAAL to bahut fass jaate hai mere dost...
Bas unhey thokne ki jagah nahi milti....!


Kutumminar ko dekhker lokesh ka dimag dauda.
Kutumminar ko dekhker lokesh ka dimag dauda
Aasmaan ko chodne chala dharti ka loda...


Dena Hai Lund Daan Me,
Dena Hai lund Daan Me,
"AE Dost" Hai Koi CHOOT Dhyaan Mei?
Agar nahi hai to yeh Gum ka Ghoot Bhi pee lenge
Teri gaand mar k hi jee lenge


Dilbar k hamne pyar se jo boob daba diye.
zara gour farmaiye.
dilbar k ha…

Valentine’s Day Greeting Cards-Romantic Wishes for Husband or wife

You make my heart melt, like a chocolate in the sun.I wish you more energy as you run in my thoughts every time. Happy Valentine’s Day sweetheart.Looking at our kids, How far we’ve come! Thanks for making it easier for me. You’re my only love.Thanks for making my rough times easy. Thanks for being my lifetime valentine. I love you.Thanks for loving me. You’ve completed my life. Happy Valentine’s Day my love.Thank you for coming into my life. You make my life complete.Life is short indeed. Let’s make the most out of it.Do you know why I love you? It is because you are you.Can you be my valentine, Once again?Can we be together always and hold each other forever?I am yours & you’re mine. Please be my Valentine.Time to cheer because you are here.Can you stay forever with me?Finding you is the most important thing that I did.You are the reason of my happiness, you’re my better half.Whenever you tell me that you love me, I cannot help but to feel blessed.I may not see you always, but my…

Happy Valentine’s Day messages for Husband & Wife - Boyfriend & Girlfriend

I love reading love stories
but honestly ours is my favorite.
Thanks for writing every chapter of our life so romantic.
Happy Valentine’s Day Sweetheart.

Life has become more meaningful  Just because of you.
I can’t even imagine my life without you.
I am happy because of you.  I love you!
Happy Valentine’s Day

Through good or bad
ups or downs
Better or worse
You were always there to hold me up
Thanks for giving me the most wonderful ride of my life

Among two of us
You were always right
And then there was me.
Your husband.

I miss you every minute you’re away.
Let us fall in love more.
Let us get married again.
Happy Valentine’s Day Honey.

Thanks for growing old with me.
Thanks for making it so easy for me
Life is short but we’re making the most of it.
Thanks for being my lifetime Valentine.

Rough times become easy when you are here.
Your inspiration is enough to keep me moving on.
Thank you for your love. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Loving you is my mission.
Being with you is my reason.
I …

Sexy poetry of first time sex

Raat ki tanhai me, mai baithi thi akeli
Itne me padosh ke ek ladke ki awaz aai
Aa jao mere paas ghar me koi nahi
Mai kuch sharmai ghabrai
Aur ithlate hui uske paas gai
Usne dhire se ghod me uthaya
Aur bade pyar se bed par sulaya
Sari ka palla giraya
Blouse kholkar bra sarkaya
Besaram ne jhat se mamme ko
Apne mouth me ghusaya
Jhor se daato se mamme ko dabaya
Aur doodh kisi me nahi
Maine kaha mai chudwane aai hu
Maine kaha mai tere bacche ki ma nahi
Phir usne apni anguli
Meri chud me ghusai
Mai jor se chilla padi
Arre Boka choda yeh meri chud hai
Koi hodh nahi
Uska loda bhi ho gaya
Puri tarah khada
Maine bhi use chum kar
Liya bada maja
Kaha usne ab bekarar na karo
Lund ko chud me jane do
Lekin mai thodi itrai
Itni jaldi kya hai
Bus abhi turant to mai aai
Mai le rahi thi ish nok-jhok ka maja
Itne me sale ne meri
Gaand me ghusa diya lauda
Mai jor se chillai
Phir lagi masti aane
Usne phir pyar se dekhte huye
Kaha mai abhi bhi pyasa hu
Pyas meri bujha de re
Ab jyada der na kar
Lund ko chud se mila de re
Mai bhi thi ab uske lund

नाच रे मोरा ची हया पीडीची नविन कविता

कवितेचा आनंद घ्या 

टाक रे लवडा पूच्चीच्या भोकात
टाक रे लवडा टाक

पूच्चीशी लवडा झूंझला रे
काळे काळे झाटा भिजल्या रे
आता नाही आहे पाळी, बघून घे खाली
फूगव लवडा आणि टाक, टाक रे लवडा......

झरझर धार झडली रे
पूच्ची माझी पाण्याने भिजली रे
झवाझवीत न्हाऊ, लवडा तूझा खाऊ
करून पूकारा टाक, टाक रे लवडा.....

थेंब थेंब पूच्चीत नाचती रे
टप टप आवाज करती रे
चडाचडी वेगात, खेळ खेळू दोघात
नाग्या सवंगडया टाक, टाक रे लवडा.....

दोघातली झवाझवी थांबली रे
पूच्ची माझी रसाने भिजली रे
लवडा लागला गळू, करी हळू हळू
नव्या जोमाने टाक, टाक रे लवडा.......

I hate Valentine’s Day quotes & Sayings for those who are single or have broken up recently

“Happy phony, romanticized, overly commercial, sucks to be single, pretend that it’s love, day!”

Today is Valentine’s day, or as men like to call it. Extortion day! 😀

No Women will ever be satisfied truly on valentine’s day because no man will ever have a chocolate penis that ejaculates money.

The course of a true love did never run straight.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular.

“Valentine’s Day is for couples. We SINGLES have the other 364 days of the year to enjoy ourselves!”

I’m single because I was born that way.

“Being single is pretty good. It’s a nice sense of irresponsibility.”

On Valentine’s day: “I don’t need a girlfriend. My job irritates me everyday & that’s enough for me”

I think, therefore I’m single.

I like being single because then only I am always there when I need me. -Art LEO

Sorry girls, I wont be giving heart this year. Instead I have another throbbing organ you might be interested in. 😀

That awkward moment when you realize that Valentine’s day is …

Honey singh LOVE DOSE rap new version..

Yo yo

Yeh gandd sa roshan chehra..
jhaato ka rang sunehra..
kaise dekhu tera bhosda..
bhosde pe jhaato ka pehra...

Iss jhaato ko hata do..
Bhosde ko dikha do..
Bhosde ke nashile jaam..
Laude ko pila do..

Lagta hai pehle yaha bahut lund ghuse ya nahi mujhe nahi mallum..
Idhar udhar kya deti..
Girl I am fucking 2 you..

Ab bhosde se hataya jhaate..
Lavde ko ghussao ji..
Duniya wale Jo bhi soche..
Humse Hi chudvao ji..

Ab Lund ko uthao ji..
Aur gandd mei ghusao ji..
Unko bhi future mei chodne wale Lavde se milao ji..

Hello uncle..
Na masti,chalo kaam ki baat pe aate hai..
Ab aap ye puchoge ki Aap kitna time lagate hai..
Bas jitna aapki ki beti ek mahine mei chudvati hai..
Ek hafte mei mera lauda..
Utne shot lagata hai..

Hai Lund..
Hai condom..
Hai jhaate..

Tum nangi apni ladki bhejo ladki ko hum lagate..

Gaand mein gorilla dekha

Gaand mein gorilla dekha
Jhaat mein nageena dekha
Chikni chut dekhi
Chikna se lauda dekha
Chotte land se randi ko choda
Toh saare badwe bole saale tu hai chakka
Pa para para...
Meri jhaat, teri jhaat
Zyaada badi kisi jhaat
Thaali mein katora leke
Mutt maare toh pata chale kiski jeet, kiski haar!
Mere piche kisi ne ungal kiya toh
Saala main tere muh mein ghusedo apna tatta
Ispe bhoot koi chadha hai
Chodna jaane naa
Ab toh kya gora kya kaala hai
Tharak pehchaane naa
Land pakad ke khaada hai kambakht
Chodna jaane naa
Randibaaz dil, Randibaaz dil, Randibaaz dil
Maane na, maane na
Randibaaz dil, Randibaaz dil, Randibaaz dil
Maane na, maane na
Yeh jo haal hai, sawaal hai, kamaal hai
Jaane na jaane na
Randibaaz dil, Randibaaz dil Randibaaz dil
Maane naa..

Sweet, romantic, love, flirt text messages and wishes for the Valentine's Day

A day without you in my life should never come and even if it does, let that be the last day of my life.

A day without you is a day without sun, a night without you is a night without moon; a life without you is a life without life.

As busy as we get, we need to be reminded that we are still sweethearts. Valentine’s Day is a good day for me to stop and realize how wonderful you make me feel. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Cupid shoots well for me! He hit you and me with perfect aim.

Love is too weak a word for what I feel for you. One life is too small a time to express how madly I am in love with you.

Curved high on a mountain, covered deep in dew, I saw these words… I LOVE YOU!

Even though Valentine’s day costs a lot more with a girlfriend, you are the one girl in this world who is totally worth it.

Every moment I am not without you, my tears fill the ocean blue…By mine, my love, forever.

Every time I see you, I feel a little flame in my heart, that lights up, because… I LOVE YOU!

Falling …

Love Messages and one liners for Valentine's Day

My days seem to be as dark as night without you. Your love brings sunlight to my heart- my sweetheart.My heart beats taking your name and it beats because you stay there.My Love is sweet when it is new, sweeter when it is true and sweetest when it’s with you. I love you.Our love is like a romance movie, but the best part is that it never ends. Happy Valentine’s day!Small things that you do makes my heart fill with joys.Sometimes I laugh even when there is no around thinking about all the funny things that you do just to make me happy. Love you for being there always.Thank you for letting me have such a wonderful person as my Valentine this year.The first time you touched me, I felt love and even now the feeling of anxiety and excitement remains the same when you come close to me. The love for you grows with every passing moment.The greatest tragedy of life is not that men perish,but that they cease to love.The reassuring smile on your lips, touch of your hands, and the little ways in …

रात को

लड़का : भूख मुझे लगी है,
खाऊ कहा जाके?

लड़की : रोटी यहां बनी है,
खाओ इधर आके.

लड़का : नींद मुझे आई है,
सौऊ कहा जाके?

लड़की: बिस्तर इधर लगा है,
सो इधर आके.

लड़का : लंड मेरा खड़ा है,
डालु कहा जाके?

लड़की : चूत मेरी खुली है,
डालो इधर आके.

दूसरे दिन सुबह

लड़की: दर्द मुझे हो रहा है,
बताऊँ किसे जाके?

लड़का : मेरा काम हो गया,
माँ चुदा जाके..

Poem by a girl

Main aayi shehar me logo ne mujhe
ghoora,
.
Bra khol mera doodh pee gaye poora,
.
Ramu chacha aaye or mera daam bol
diya,
Kuch kahu uske pehle mera nada
kholdiya, .
Unki harkat bahut acchi thi,
Agle hi pal unke hath me meri kacchi
thi,
.
Bed pe chaadar rang birangi thi,
Kuch hi palo me main poori nangi thi,.
Unke paas na i-pill na nirodh tha,
Mere man me bas isi baat ka virodh
tha,
.
Main darti rahi aur karti rahi,
Chudne se pehle jitna khil khila rahi
thi,
Bed pe utna hi mai chilla rahi thi,
.
Lund unka meri chut ki waadiyo me
kho gaya,
.
Ab niche dekhiye aapka bhi khada ho
gaya

Boobs ki aatmktha

Mera janam 12 saal baad hua,

Jab mai bilkul choti thi,
tab my frock me soti thi

Fir mere aakar ka vistar hua,
Nimbu badh k Anaar hua

Jab my badne lagi,
Har kisi ki nazar mujh pe padne lagi

Hua fir Bra mera ghar,
Ab Lagne laga mujhe darr

Jab mera size hua bada,
Jane kitno ka hua khada

Bheed me Ladko ne hath mara,
Muje ehsaas hua bahot Pyara

Fir na jane kitno ne dabaya,
Sach kahu to bada mazaa aaya

Kisi ne pyar se sehlaya,
Kisi ko pyar se chusvaya.

Kisi ne mujhe masal diya,
kisi ne mujhpe Apna Popat ragad diya.

Ab Jab my gayi jhool,
Sare madarchod mujhko gaye bhool...

Ladki chudai ka maza aur hai

ladki chudai ka maza aur h
chut ki gehrai ka maza aur h
uske honto k chumne ka maza aur h
uske nange badan pr ghumne
ka maza aur h
usse apni pent khulwane ka
maza aur h
uss hasina se lund ko chuswane
ka maza aur h
uski bra or chaddi ko fadne
ka maja aur h
lund ko chut.main pura badne
ka maza aur h
uske komal se rashile badan
ko katne ka maja aur h
uski chut ko do hisson main
baatne ka maza aur h
uski chut.main khun nikalne ka
maza aur h
phir jhatke se gand me lund
daalne ka maza aur h

Girl’s Song After Marraige

Lulle Anmulle !!
Bade Chete Aunde Ne Yaaran De Lulle.
Jado Si Fulle..
Fuddi Vich Varde..
Dhuni Tak Charde..
Kai Var Marai..
Vich Umar Jawani..
Oh Dunia Vakhri Si
Kineya Ne Vajaiya..
Na Hon Padhaia Roj Thukaiya..
Saari Raat Ghar Ni..
Kise Da Dar Ni..
Gasti Vargi Udo Jindgani..
Bade Chete Aunde Ne Yaran De Lulle..
O College Mundea Da..
Vaje Sade 11..
Ni Jana Yara..
Ni Kapde Kholle..
Ni Khade Lolle..
Paake Vich Fuddi De..
Ni Chikaan Chadiya..
Munde Bade Shokeen Hunde..
Kapde Laake..
Mumme Dabonde..
Maje Dwaonde..
Bade Chete Aunde Ne Yaaran De Lulle..
‘Baba’ Lambe Lulle Vaala..
Na Condom Ponda..
Na Tel Lagonda..
Agge Di Paake..
Picho Di Kad Da..
Bade Chete Aunde Ne Yaaran De Lulle..

Pyari Dimple

Hoon main sexy, naughty & simple,

🔹Pyaari hoon, naam hai dimple,

🔹Laga hai mujhko satravaan saal,

🔹Raaton ko hota hai haal behaal

🔹Khud hi dabaati hoon apni choochiyan,

🔹 Roz choot mein, daalti hoon ungliyaan,

🔹Sapno mein bas milte hain lund,

🔹aankh khule, to tanhai ki thund.

🔹Aise mein chat pe dekha jab usko,

🔹dil mera laga karne disco,

🔹woh thha mera naya padosi,

🔹umar pachhees, naam mohan joshi.

🔹Ankhiya mili, phir dil muskaaye

🔹jaldi hee hum aur karib aaye,

🔹phir ik din aisa bhi aaya,

🔹ek kamre mein sirf, mohan ko paaya

🔹Janam-janam ki pyaas thi meri,

🔹kaise sahti ab aur doori

🔹chipak gayi mohan ke tan se,

🔹laga choomne wo bhi manse.

🔹Choochi tan gayi, choot akad gayi,

🔹laga main ladki se aurat ban gayi,

🔹mohan ne mujhe kar diya nanga,

🔹kapde utare apne, shuru hogya panga

🔹Lund dekh ke, meri phat gayi,

🔹koshish kee, par cheekh nikal gayi,

🔹nahin-nahin mohan, main mar jaungi,

🔹itne bade lund se nahin chudvayungi,".

🔹Mohan dheeme se muskaya,

🔹choochiyon ko seene se chipkaa…

Sexy, sexual, non-veg, dirty, erotic, adult sms text and whatsapp jokes

A Punjabi Bra Advertisement:---
Jalandhar Di Mashoor... Sabton Jyada Vikkan Waali... Har Kudi Di Pehli Pasand...
GULABO BRA!!!!
Hunn 6 Sizan Vich Uplabdh...
1. Chotey
2. Theek Thaak
3. Vadde
4. Oyee Hoye
5. Hay O Rabbaa
6. O Teri Bhen Di !!!!


Finest fashion definition :
Santa - What is size zero?
Banta - Na bum, na seena. Phir bhi haseena.....


संता ने एक बार अपना कच्छा धो कर  अपनी पडोसन के तार पर डाल दिया .😜😜😜
उसी तार पर पडोसन की सलवार भी सुख रही थी 😂😂😂
संता जाते जाते पडोसन से बोला भाभी जी आप जब अपनी सलवार उतारो तो मुझे आवाज़ लगा देना
मै भी अपना कच्छा उतार लूँगा😀😀😀😗
😄भाभी आज तक कनफिउज़ है कि इसका इसारा किस तरफ़ था


This one is a masterpiece ..
Santa is sucking, licking, caressing and kissing his OWN fingers, palm & hand.... ✋
Banta : Why this madness? 😳
Santa: This is foreplay.. before Masturbation !


Girl: मेरा रेप हो गया..
Mom: थोड़ी मिर्ची खा ले...
Grl: क्या मिर्ची खाने से Pregnant नहीं होउंगी़..?
Mom: नहीं हरामजादी.. पर तेरे चेहरे से चुदाई की  खुशी थोड़ी कम हो जायेगी..


Horny, Corny, Erotic, adult, non-veg sms text messages pick up lines to arouse the sexual devil in your partner - Happy Velentines' Day

“You eyes are as bright as energy saving halogen light bulbs, would you light up my life?”

Screw the nice list, I’ve got you on my “nice and naughty list!

That’s not a candy cane in my pocket. I’m just glad to see you!

My best toys run on batteries.

Santa’s lap isn’t the only place wishes come true.

Interested in seeing the “North Pole”? (Well, that’s what the Mrs. calls it)

Are you religious? ‘Cause your prayers have just been answered.

Would you touch me so I can tell my friends that I’ve been touched by an angel?

Are you Greek? No? I thought all gods (goddesses) were Greek.

Let me check out your tag — yep, just what I thought. “Made in Heaven.”

You can kiss heaven goodbye cause its got to be a sin to look that good.

You know they say that you have never really dated until you have dated a Christian.

You want to come over and watch the 10 commandments tonight?

Do you believe in Divine appointment?

I have a snake and he wants to enter your garden.

The fact you are in my life shows G…

Erotic, adult, non-veg One liners sms text messages pick up lines to get ahead with your partner - Happy Velentines' Day

Did you fart? cuz you blew me away.

Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special.

My Love, you’re you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.

Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em.

If you n I were Squirrels, I’d store my nuts in yer hole.

You might not be the best-looking girl here, but beauty’s only a light switch away.

Man – “Fat Penguin!” Woman – “WHAT?” Man – “I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.”

I know I’m not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

If yer gonna regret this in the morning, we kin sleep til afternoon.

Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

If there was a party in your mouth I’d be the first person to come

How about you sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up

Let’s play titanic when I say iceberg you go down

If I was a watermelon would you spit my seed?

The only reason I would kick you out of the bed is to fcuk you on the floor

I would call H…

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