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Showing posts from July, 2016

Kabali Day - Rajanikanth Day Special

Kabali spl...All new series on Rajnikanth:
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Rajnikanth was shot today... Tomorrow is the bullet`s funeral!
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Rajnikanth killed a terrorist in Pakistan 'via Bluetooth'!
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Rajnikanth can draw a straight line with a compass
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Rajnikanth`s pulse is measured in Richter scale!
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The new Rupee symbol is actually Rajnikanth`s signature!!!
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Rajnikanth has a statue of Madame Tussauds at his house!!
--------------------------------
Rajnikanth is the secret of Boost`s
energy;
and Complan is a Rajnikanth boy!
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Rajnikanth participated in 100m race, obviously he came first, but
Einstein died watching that, since Light came second!!
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Intel's new ad: "Rajnikanth Inside"
-------------------------
When Alexander Graham…

12 best of KABALI

1. Kabali is the 1st Indian
    movie to release across
    30 nations at a time.

2. Kabali is widest release
    across Asian countries.

3. Kabali is going to release
    across 4500 screens in
    China same as PK
    400 screens across US
    300 screens each across
    Malaysia Indonesia and
    Japan ( highest ever for
    any Indian movie so far).

4. Kabali is the only South
    Indian movie to release
    in over 1000 screens in
    North India.

5. Kabali is releasing across
    double the screens than
    any other Bollywood
    star's film worldwide.

6. Kabali trailer crossed 25
    Million in a week as it is
    released highest ever for
    any Indian movie.

7. Kabali is the 1st Indian
    movie  poster displayed
    in flights buses in India.

8. Kabali is all set to be the
    first movie in the world to
    declare a leave in a state
    ( already by few MNC's
       and small companies).

9. Kabali is releasing in
   12000 screens worldwide
    at a time across …

30 प्रेरणादायिक सुविचार जो जिंदगी बदल दे

30 प्रेरणादायिक सुविचार जो जिंदगी बदल दे.

Quote 1 . जब लोग आपको        Copy करने लगें तो समझ लेना जिंदगी में Success हो रहे हों.

Quoted 2 . कमाओ…कमाते रहो और तब तक कमाओ, जब तक महंगी चीज सस्ती न लगने लगे.

Quote 3 . जिस व्यक्ति का लालच खत्म, उसकी तरक्की भी खत्म.

Quote 4 . यदि “Plan A” काम नही कर रहा, तो कोई बात नही 25 और Letters बचे हैं उन पर Try करों.

Quote 5 . जिस व्यक्ति ने कभी गलती नहीं कि उसने कभी कुछ नया करने की कोशिश नहीं की.

Quote 6 . भीड़ हौंसला तो देती हैं लेकिन पहचान छिन लेती हैं.

Quote 7 . अगर किसी चीज़ को दिल से चाहो तो पूरी कायनात उसे तुमसे मिलाने में लग जाती हैं.

Quote 8 . कोई भी महान व्यक्ति अवसरों की कमी के बारे में शिकायत नहीं करता.

Quote 9 . महानता कभी ना गिरने में नहीं है, बल्कि हर बार गिरकर उठ जाने में है.

Quote 10 . जिस चीज में आपका Interest हैं उसे करने का कोई टाईम फिक्स नही होता. चाहे रात के 1 ही क्यों न बजे हो.

Quote 11 . अगर आप चाहते हैं कि, कोई चीज अच्छे से हो तो उसे खुद कीजिये.

Quote 12 . सिर्फ खड़े होकर पानी देखने से आप नदी नहीं पार कर सकते.

Quote 13 . जीतन…

Fresh and New Husband Wife jokes

Husband wife both die in a Car crash.
Husband becomes Bhoot. Wife becomes Dayan.
They both meet after some time.

Wife: Kitne changed lag rahe ho Bhoot bankar.

Husband: Pagli, tu bilkul nahi badli.

****

An ultimate one

👤 A husband in a
book store : ”Do You have a book called, ‘Husband--the BOSS of the House’..?”

Sales Girl: “Sir, Comics are on the 1st floor...

****

एक आदमी की तबियत खराब होने पर उसने डॉक्टर को दिखाया...
डॉक्टर ने कहा - आप सिर्फ 12 घंटे के मेहमान हो... शायद सवेरा भी नहीं देख पाओगे...!!!???

आदमी नें यह बात बडे दुःख के साथ अपनी पत्नी को बतायी, और सोचा कि यह आखिरी रात अपनी पत्नी के साथ बड़े प्यार से बितायी जाये...!!!

दोनों बड़ी देर तक प्यार से बातें की ओर साथ में बिताए लम्हों को याद किया...

थोड़ी देर बाद पत्नि को सोते हुए देखकर पति ने पूछा: तुम सो रही हो...???
 .
पत्नि: क्या करूं, तुम्हें तो सुबह उठना नहीं है...
पर मुझे तो उठना पडेगा.


****


Hey guys,
A friend of mine bought the tickets for the first show of Kabali @ PVR on 22nd Jul forgetting that he is getting married on …

Highly erotic, non-veg, adult, sexy sms text and whatsapp messages jokes in hindi - english

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Ek Badsoorat randi Choot Marwate Hue
Ek Badsoorat randi Choot Marwate Hue Apne Customer Se Puchti Hai...
"Mere Mein Sabse Khoosurat Cheez Kya Hai ?"
Customer: "Mera Lund………"

****

motka ki biwi
Ek Aadmi Ki Nayi Nahi Shadi Hui, November Ka Mahina Thha Aur Kadake Ki Sardi padd Rahi Thi.
Kamre Mein Aate Hi Vo Rajayi Mein Gussa Aur So Gaya.
Patni Ne Ye Dekha Aur Thodi Der Bad Usko Kohni Mar Ke Boli.
Patni: “Suno Ji, Meri Taango Ke Bich Mein Ek Mori (Hole) Bhi Hai”
Aadmi Gusse Se: “To Band Kar Us Mori Ko, Main Bhi Sochu Rajayi Mein Thandi Hawa Kaha Se Aa Rahi Hai“

****

Ladkiyo, Virginity Bachane Ka Sabse Acha Tarika
Suhagrat Par Patni Ke Sath Sex Karne Ke Bad, Pati Bada Khush Tha.
Patni Ke Mathe Ko Chhum Kar Bola.
Pati: “Janu Aaj Bada Maja Aya Aur Main Bahut Khush Hun.”
Patni: “Achha Ji, Kyu?”
Pati: “Tum To Virgin Nikli, Apni Choot Ko Aaj Tak Badi Hifazat Se Bacha Ke Rakha Hai Tumne”
Patni Sharmati Hui: “Aji, Dua Meri Gaand Ko Dijiye, Jiski Wajah Se Aaj Tak Meri Choot B…

Latest Highly erotic, non-veg, adult, sexy sms text and whatsapp messages jokes in hindi - english

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lollipop and a penis?
Que. What’s the difference between a lollipop and a penis?
Ans. If you lick a lollipop, it becomes smaller… but if you lick a penis it becomes bigger!
Posted 6th February 2011 by pragyan

****

bin laden
Que. Why doesn’t Osama Bin Laden have sex with his five wives?

Ans. Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush!

****

All boobs are to be taxed as per size:
All boobs are to be taxed as per size:

38-Burden tax
36-Wealth tax
35-Entertainment
34-Excitement
30-Development tax

****

Secret of long life…
Secret of long life…
Morning 2 eggs
Evening 2 pegs and
Night 2 legs

****

Zindagi pe blue film ka
Zindagi pe blue film ka saya hai Choot ka sukh kahan hamne paya hai, hum sust rahate hain kisiki yaad main, aur log sochate hain phir hala ke aya hai

****

MUTH marne ke 11 Faayde i.e. the benefits of Masturbation:
1. Self Reliance
2. Time Convenience
3. Prevention of Crime
4. Mental Choice of Lady
5. No Risks of AIDS
6. No Special place Requirement
7. No Wastage of…

Ustaad Ne Farmaya...

Image
Hamare ustaad ji ne farmaya ke Beta:
Machhi aur Bachhi khud pakar ke khao to mazaa hain.
Lund aur Qanoon kabhi haath main na lo.
Naukri aur tatton pe kabhi laat naa maro.
Larki jitni marzi lambi ho lund late kar hi leti hain.
Lohe par hathorra aur choot par lora tab maro jab woh garam ho.
Kismat ki karni choot ki garmi or lund ki besharmi nahin rukti.
Aur ehtyat se sex karo kyun ke Bandook se nikli faulad aur pait se nikli aulad kabbi waapis nahin jaati


Ladki Ke Inkaar Par Ghazal

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You Hum Ko Satane Ki Zarorat Kya thi... Gaand Meri Jalane Ki Zaroorat Kya thi...
Jo Nahi tha Ishq To Keh Diya Hota... Maa Chudane Ki Kya Zaroorat thi...
Maloom Tha Agar Yeh Khowab Toot Jaye Gaye... Neend Mein Aa Kar Chudwane Ki Kya Zaroorat thi...
Ishq Par lagti Rahegi Har Dour Mein Pabandi... Ek Ashiq Ki Gaand Phatwane Ki Kya Zaroorat thi...
Maan Lo Agar Ye Yaktarfa Mohabat thi... To Phir Maa Ki Lori Mujhe Dekh Kar Muskurane Ki Kya Zaroorat thi

Jab Choot Se Lund Takrata Hain

Image
Jab choot se lund takrata hai, mat puchhia kia maza aata hain, Jab choot se lund takrata hai, mat puchhia kia maza aata hain
Tangon ko utha, kuchh chhot dikha, mere lund par zara haath fira Yeh choot khushi mein hansti hai, lund bhi hilta hai masti mein,
Ab khol de apni choot ko tu, yeh lund mera farmata hain, Jab choot se lund takrata hai, mat puchhia kia maza aata hain,
Lund bhadka hai jaise koi bhoot, Jab se dekhi hai issne choot, Andar bahar chode ga lund, Dhakke mare ye zoron se
Choot bhi paani chhode gi, lund mera yahi batata hain, Jab choot se lund takrata hai, mat puchhia kia maza aata hain.


Lund Hain Bara Shaitaan

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Mein Thi Anjaan
Yeh Hain Lund Ka Ehsaan
Mein Samajhti Thi K Lund Hai Bejaan
Nahin Dekha Jisne Kabhi Choot Ka Maidan
Jab Khara Hua Toh Mein Hui Heraan
Is Harkat Ne Humko Kardiya Pareshan
Jab Andar Dala Toh Nikaal Di Jaan
Hum Samajhte the Lund Hai Nadaan
Lekin Ab Jana ki Lund Hain Bara Shaitaan

Kal tak jo thay hum se ajnabi

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Kal tak jo thay hum se ajnabi pehle mille nah thay hum se kabhi aaj wahi hamari sejj sajjay beithe hein

hum gae thay kal ik kaam se bazar wahein per woh takra gay nazar hoi chaar tab se wohi hawaas per chaay beithe hein

dekh ke unki mardana shakhshiyat maaeil ho gai un pe hamarii tabiyat ankhein ab hum rah mein bichaay beithe hein

hoi thein jaab itefaqun nazrein chaar hum tu beithe apna sab kuch haar hogae hum tu ooper neeche se geelay bhag ke pakdi bas ho ke sharmashar phir bhi unke hi khiyal uljhaay beithe hein

jo laga bas ko jhtka koi mujhe se aa chimta kamar se us ne pakda chootdon per uska tika tha tu kissi ka woh lauda magar lagta tha hathoda maza agia jab socha wohi mujhe liptaay beithe hein

dekha jo mud ke ussi ko apne sath lage paya khushi hoi dekh ke woh mere tha peeche aya pakar ke uss ne ik muma sagoshi ki kiya le loon mein chutki acchi si sun ke hum muskra diye kuch keh nah sake uss ne jo diya hath mein tu reh gai hake bake ussi lamhe ko hum khiyalon mein basaay beithe h…

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