Some sexy and kinky questions for your lover

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1. Would you rather be blindfolded or blindfold me?

2. Would you rather orgasm while performing oral or during intercourse?

3. What was your high school sex fantasy?

4. What’s your favorite position?

5.  Which part of your body do you consider the most sexy?

6.  Do you like to swallow?

7.  Who do you fantasize about when you’re alone?

8. Your last sexual encounter; good or bad and why?

9. Where is one place you would never have sex?

10. Top or bottom?

11.  Best sexual complement you ever got?

12. When was the first time you masturbated?

13.  Have/would you ever have sex outside?

14. Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

15.  Do you sleep in pajamas, underwear, or nothing at all?

16.  If you had a sexual “to-do” list, what would be on top of the list?

17. Is a weird “sex face/orgasm face” a total deal breaker?

18. Do you have a gag reflex?

19. Is your sex life award-winning or a total flop?

20. Are piercings sexy?

21. Can/Have you ever squirted before?

22. List your kinks…

Latest Highly erotic, non-veg, adult, sexy sms text and whatsapp messages jokes in hindi - english



lollipop and a penis?
Que. What’s the difference between a lollipop and a penis?
Ans. If you lick a lollipop, it becomes smaller… but if you lick a penis it becomes bigger!
Posted 6th February 2011 by pragyan

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bin laden
Que. Why doesn’t Osama Bin Laden have sex with his five wives?

Ans. Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush!

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All boobs are to be taxed as per size:
All boobs are to be taxed as per size:

38-Burden tax
36-Wealth tax
35-Entertainment
34-Excitement
30-Development tax

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Secret of long life…
Secret of long life…
Morning 2 eggs
Evening 2 pegs and
Night 2 legs

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Zindagi pe blue film ka
Zindagi pe blue film ka saya hai Choot ka sukh kahan hamne paya hai, hum sust rahate hain kisiki yaad main, aur log sochate hain phir hala ke aya hai

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MUTH marne ke 11 Faayde i.e. the benefits of Masturbation:
1. Self Reliance
2. Time Convenience
3. Prevention of Crime
4. Mental Choice of Lady
5. No Risks of AIDS
6. No Special place Requirement
7. No Wastage of Cash
8. Easy to Perform
9. No fear of early ejaculation
10. Guaranteed Satisfaction
11. No Risk of Being Caught

So moral is: Badnammi de Phuddi naalon izzat di Muth Changi hai
Posted 31st January 2011 by pragyan

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Lund pe aitbaar
Lund pe aitbaar kisko hain…
Mil jaaye chodney ko to inkar kis ko hain…
Kuch mushkilein hain chut paane me dost
Warna muth marne se pyaar kisko hain…

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Ek lady ghabrai hui
Ek lady ghabrai hui doctor ke pass jati hain:

Lady: Doctor sahab maine galti se i-Pill (emergency contraceptive tablet) ki goli khali

Doctor: Madam 72 ghante ke andar chud jao varna goli bekaar chali jayegi

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Lipton Tea Bag
Ye Sookha Andar Jata Hai,
Aur Gila Bahar Ata Hai,
Phele Chota Hota Hai,
Phir Ye Mota Ho Jata Hai,
Jab Ye Andar Rahta Hai,
To Ye Red Kar Deta Hai,
Thoda Sa Hilane Ke Baad Jab Isko Bahar Nikalo,
To Apna Kam Dikha Kar Ye,
Bejaan Sa Dheela Sa Bahar Ata Hai,
Kuch Aur Nahin Hai Ye Yaaro,
"
"
"
Isko Lipton Tea Bag Kehtey Hai.

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ek keel choot mein
Pahle to nahi ghusti thi ek keel choot mein.
choodte choodte ban gayi jheel choot mein.
pani peene aya jo ek bheel choot mein.
phisal gaya wo 2 mile choot mein.
government ne jab dekhi dheel choot mein.
usne laga di seal choot mein.

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Pahle to nahi ghusti thi ek keel choot mein.
choodte choodte ban gayi jheel choot mein.
pani peene aya jo ek bheel choot mein.
phisal gaya wo 2 mile choot mein.
government ne jab dekhi dheel choot mein.
usne laga di seal choot mein.

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mast wala
Ek baar ki baat hai,
ek manchala ek ladki ko chhedta hai.
Ladka kahta hai:-

Yuon matak matak ke na chalo karo,
koi namak samajh ke chakh lega.
Iss teen inch ke ched mein koi nou inch ka rakh dega.

Ladki jawab deti hai:-

O sun londe nadan,
tu mat kar itna guman.
yaha sab akad akad ke aate hai aur sikud sikud kar jate hai.

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An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?" "Yes, ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"

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Filmi names for Penis
1-3 Yrs. Angoor

4-6 Yrs. Masoom

7-12 Yrs. Parvarish

13-16 Yrs. Parivartan

17-22 Yrs. Pyaasa

23-35 Yrs. Shikari

36-50 Yrs. Masterji

51-60 Yrs. Kabhi-Kabhi

61-75 Yrs. Yaadein

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Agar ye Government 5 Saal aur rahi toh
Agar ye Government 5 Saal aur rahi toh...
CHEENI choot se mehangi hogi.
DOODH sirf boobs mein hoga.
GAS sirf Gaand se niklegi,
PAANI sirf Lund se niklega!!

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Dulhan: Aaa Dard ho rahaan hain Aaram se...

Dulha: Kuch nahi hoga bas tum 10 tak gino mein nikaal lunga,

Dulhan: 1, 2 aaa 3, 4, 5 ufff 6, 7, 8 hhmm 8, 8, wow, 8, 8, 7, 6, 5, 5…ab Puri Raat kartay raho, maza aa raha hai!!!!!!

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Ek Bande Ki Suhagraat Thi,

Vo Bade Aaram Se Sex Kar RahaThha,
Par Uski Wife Jor Jor Se Cheekh Rahi Thhi,
Banda Hairan Hua Aur Usne
Puchha. Tum Itna Cheekh
Kyun Rahi Ho?
Wife:Bahar Tere Dost
Khade Hai, Chutiye Teri Izzat Rakh
Rahi Hoon

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Sex kya hai;
Sex ek kala hai, Jo kare uska bhala
hai
Sex ek bhavna hai, jisko pura kurne
ki sabki kaamna hai
Sex do atmaon kaa milan hai, sadiyo
se jiska chalan hai
Sex maja hai, Jo na kare uska jeevan
ek saza hai
Sex bhakti hai, jisme subki mukti hai
Sex ek jaap hai, jisko na jupna
mahapaap hai
Sex amrut hai, poora jeevan jisse
trupt hai - Dirty Sex

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Pehli Baar chudai Karane K Baad
Ladki LUND ko choom k Boli:
Aaj Mujhe Satya Ka Gyan Ho Gaya,
'COKE' 'PEPSI'
Sab Bakwas
"MARD Ki LASSI"
Hi Bujhaye Asli Pyaas.

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Purani soch:-Karo ya Maro.
Nayi soch:-Marne se Phle kuch karo!
Ekdam Nai soch:- Jab tak kuch kar
nahi lete maro mat!
Hamari Soch:-Koi Bataega Sala
karna kya hai?

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Kaviyatri ki suhag raat ke baad uski
saheli ne pucha-Kaisi rahi
suhagraat?
Woh boli-
"Aaye the wo der se,
Dil jala diya,
Pehle kiye Darwaza band,
Fir deepak bhuja diya.
Pehle dabane lage
boob tatolkar,
Fir khelne lage
chaddi khol kar.
Ek jung aisi chidi palang par,
Gole wali toph rakh di surang par,
Mila sirf 9 minute ka maja,
Ab bhogni hai 9 mahine ki saja,
9 mahine baad aisa hoga vispot,
Jo ban jayega Bharat ke liye
1 aur vote...

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Paper Dene Or Sex Karne Ke Baad
Sari Girls Ki Feelings Same Hoti
Hai:Kitna Lamba Tha NaKash Thora
Time Or Mil JataTooba Pehle Kitna
Dar Lag Raha ThaPhir To Pata Hi
Nahi Chala Kab Ho GayaUff Teen
Ghante Tak To Meri Saans Hi Band
Ho Gayi ThiAagay Ka To Theek Tha
Peechay Ka Kitna Mushkil Tha Na.

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MARD hone k 6 fayade:
1. 'Un Dino' ka tension nahi hota.
2. Koi Heavy saaman latakta nahi
rahta(.)(.)
3. Nange bhi ghumo to kisi ki
bhavnaye nahi jagti.
4. Virgnity ka koi proof nahi hota.
5. Khujane pe hath geela nahi hota.
6. And above all, jaha chahe waha
moot sakte h.
IF U R MEN.!
Jiyo L**D utha k...

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