You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
Are those lumberjack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.
You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.
I’d remove all the chairs in the world, just so you have to sit on my face.
Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?
Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
Do you take Visa?
Excuse me, I just shit in my pants. Can I get in yours?
You are the reason that god invented boners.
With great penis, comes great responsibility.
If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
There are so many things you can do with the human mouth... why waste it on talking?
How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled or fertilized?
You smell... We should go take a shower together.
Would you like a hotdog to go with those buns?
You're like my own personal brand of heroin.
This may seem corny, but you make me really horny.
I'm a burglar and I'm gonna smash your backdoor in.
Do you wanna do something that rhymes with 'Truck'?
I have a rare disease that will kill me unless I have sex within the next 30 minutes.
Don't let me die! I bet my tongue can beat up your tongue.
Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits
Let us let only latex stand between our love.
Do you wanna see why my nickname is 'tri-pod'?
Are you a virgin? [No] Prove it!
You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.
If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?
I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
Are you from Ireland? 'Cuz my dick's-a-Dublin! [Look down at your crotch]
It's not just going to suck itself.
I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?
[Hold up a screw] Wanna screw?
[What are you doing?] I'm taking off my shoes. [Why?] So I can take off my pants.
How about you be my story and I'll be your climax!
"I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now. It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh wait, my watch is an hour fast!
Is your name Dora? Cause I'll let you explore this dick.
I like your hair, your eyes, your smile... I like every bone in your body... Especially mine!
Do you sleep on your stomach? [No] Can I?
Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?
Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Don't you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, mind if I check your oil level?
Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?
I'm easy. Are you?
Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?
This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help...
Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution? Slippery when wet? Dangerous curves ahead? Yield?
Do you believe in free love? [No] Then how much do you cost?
Hey baby, I'll f**k you so well, the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.
Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
I don't know you, and you don't know me, but who's to say it's wrong if we sleep together?
Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's in your bra?
You’re the type of girl I’d let sit on my face for a long period of time.
Before I hit on you, do you have a problem with large genitalia?
I could’ve called heaven and asked for an angel, but I was hoping you’re a slut instead.
I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.
I think that pick-up lines are for people with to much time on their hands. Let's just f**k.
You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.
If you can dance, you have my hand, but if you can sing, you have my heart.
Call me leaves, cause you should be blowing me.
Wasn’t I supposed to eat you somewhere?
You can’t be my first, but you could be my next.
You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.
You know, my lips won’t just kiss themselves.
Oh, I’m sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag!
Sex is evil; Evil is sin; Sin is forgiven; So let’s begin!
Sit on my face and let me get to ‘Nose’ you better
Are you flappy bird? Cause I could tap you all night.
I hope to God you can't sing because I just wanna f**k you.
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
Hi, I'm gay. Do you think you can convert me?
I'm the finger down your spine when all the lights go out.
Sit on my lap and we’ll get things straight between us.
Life is short. Let's f**k and see if there is anything after that. Let me eat you for an hour. If you don't want to have sex after that, we won't.
All those curves, and me with no brakes.
[Give the person a bottle of wine or tequila] Drink this, and then call me when you're ready.
Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
[Walk into her chest] "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened!"
If the sun were to stop shining, I'd be your source of vitamin D.
How much will $20 get me?
Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at pick up lines... nice tits.
Want to spend the night at my house tonight? The couch may not pull out, but I do.
So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
What are you doing tonight? Besides me, of course?
Will you be my girlfrien? I left out the 'd' cause you'll get that later!
My name is Skittles... wanna taste my rainbow?
Can I see your blueprints? I wanna lay some pipe in you and need to know that you're structurally sound enough to do so.
Are those pants on sale? Cause they're 100% off at my place!
Can I punch you in the face... with my lips?
My mattress is a little hard. Would you like to help me break it in?
I'm with the TSA and I need to perform a full body cavity search, for security reasons.
Can I be the wiener in your hotdog?
I only have 12 hours to live... please don't let me die a virgin.
I'm bigger and better than the Titantic - only 200 women went down on that vessel!
What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
You remind me of a crop, because I wanna plow you.
Do you like long cocks on the beach?
I'd crawl over a thousand miles of broken glass just to suck the dick of the last guy you slept with.
Hey baby, I've got a back seat with your name on it.
I wanna paint you green and spank you like a disobedient avocado.
I’m on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
I have the entire dictionary written on my dick.
Want me to put some words in your mouth??
You should join the circus so you can learn to juggle my balls all day.
Now that Trump is president, our country surely is screwed... and you can be too!
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
My name is pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?
If You Were A Dodge truck, I'd Ram You.
Do you like Kellogg’s? Cause I wanna Frost your Flakes.
I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.
Was your father a welder? Because those sure are acetylene tits!
I'm no good at pick up lines, but I can pick you up and you will feel my line.
You wanna go out this weekend? [Sorry, I have a boyfriend] I have a math test tomorrow [What?] Oh, I thought we were talking about things we could both cheat on!
Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!